ABSOLUTION
by SuddenlySandi
Summary: Edward is a doctor in Uganda hiding from his responsibilities; he is sent a nurse that turns out to be more than he bargained for. Sometimes you have to fight for love and the hardest person to forgive is yourself. AH story by SDFreeze MATURE THEMES
1. Chapter 1

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 1

**Edward**

I climbed onto the crowded bus and the heat was so oppressive I felt sick to my stomach. I looked around for a place to sit and noticed another American, a woman. She looked at me and smiled softly so I nodded to her. She was pretty, naturally pretty, and had a nice body. I was hoping we were headed to the same village; I could use some female companionship.

I sat next to a woman with a small boy. Her child was dirty with a runny nose and I tried to scoot further from them. The American woman pulled her dark hair into her hands and lifted it off of her neck, trying to find relief from the sweltering heat.

I looked at her white moist skin and had a desire to blow softly across her long neck. She glanced around and saw me looking at her, so she quickly dropped her hair and began to blush. I smiled and when she looked up once more I winked at her. She widened her eyes and I chuckled. Surely she had many men flirting with her, her large dark eyes held a bit of mystery that was captivating.

A scuffle broke out at the front of the old bus and two men began arguing loudly. I glanced at the two drunks and went back to staring at the pretty girl. She watched the men closely and when they began throwing fists, she jumped up and headed towards them.

I wanted to grab her hand and pull her back to her seat, or onto my lap, but she moved quickly. She spoke softly to the two men and pulled a rag from her pocket and began wiping blood off the face of one of them. The bus continued to crawl slowly down the dirt road and I closed my eyes to keep the dust from burning them.

It was an hour later when the bus pulled up to a rickety shack and opened the door. I grabbed my duffle bag and made my way with a few other riders down the front steps. I moved out of the way and dropped my bag to stretch my arms high into the air as I yawned.

The pretty brunette stepped out of the door and I locked eyes with her. She smiled softly and headed to the other side of the wooden building. I grabbed my bag and walked around to see her trying to decipher a hand drawn map.

"Can I help you find something?" I asked her, using my best smile.

"Thank you, I'm looking for the medical clinic," she said and I wanted to throw my fist into the air in jubilation.

"I'm Dr. Cullen, Edward Cullen; do you have a medical issue?" I asked.

"I'm the new nurse," she said and extended her hand for me to shake.

"No shit," I laughed. "I didn't know I was getting a nurse."

She gave me a wary look and said, "I'm here for as long as you need me."

"And you are?" I asked, wondering what name this angel possessed.

"I'm Sister Mary Isabella," she said and my smile instantly fell.

A nun, they sent me a freaking nun? I wanted to scream in frustration. They could have at least sent me an old lady with breast to her knees and covered in a long thick habit. I groaned loudly and began walking to the small cement clinic.

"Is there a problem, Dr. Cullen," she asked as she quickly followed.

I looked back at her thin body and perfect breasts and shook my head as I picked up my pace. She was struggling with her luggage and I knew I was being rude, but why did she have to be so fucking gorgeous? Her presence would torment me and I needed to convince her to leave.

I finally stopped walking and waited for her to catch up. I grabbed her bag and huffed loudly as I began walking again.

"I'm a good nurse, Dr. Cullen. I work hard and I don't require much," she said trying to convince me to be happy she was there.

"I don't doubt it, but did they tell you the hospital has one doctor and now one nurse?" I asked.

"Yes, they told me I would work all hours and stay in a small room at the clinic," she said as she finally began jogging to keep up with me.

I stopped and turned to face her. "Did they tell you I am a single man?" I asked her stunned face.

She raised her chin and crossed her arms as if my question angered her. "I don't know why that would be an issue, I am about God's work and…."

"Fine, go work with God and leave me alone," I said rudely and began walking again.

"I have been sent here to help, Dr. Cullen. Are you really going to send me away because of some massagonistic ideas you have regarding nuns? These people need a nurse; you need a nurse, so I'm here."

"I haven't said anything about you being a nun, hell I don't care if you're mother fucking Teresa. I was only pointing out the fact we will be living at the same place and I am a single man, so the possibility of seeing my dick is pretty realistic," I said without watching for her reaction.

"Oh please, you think I haven't seen a man's penis before? I have a newsflash for you Dr. Cullen, your dick is nothing special," she said to bring me to a quick stop.

I looked at her and she went right back to her determined stance, raised chin with arms crossed. I would have bought her tough girl routine if she wasn't blushing so badly. I laughed a little and when I licked my lips she looked away.

"Well, come on Bella, I'll show you to your room," I nodded to the small cement building in front of me.

"My name is Sister Mary Isabella, Dr. Cullen," she corrected me.

I looked her up and down and chuckled, "Naw, I can't see it, you look like a Bella. I'm not a Catholic and you're not my sister, so you answer to Bella or Nurse," I offered her.

"Fine, call me Nurse," she said and headed inside the building.

"Your room is down the hall on the left, Bella," I yelled after her and noticed how her hands pulled into fists. I was sure she would be begging to get out of here by the end of the week.

**BELLA**

Dr. Cullen was the most infuriating man I had ever met. Surely he was a good doctor to be sent to this remote village in Africa. I was top of my class in nursing school and still had to wait in line for an assignment like this. I wanted to help people, good, decent people, who couldn't afford something as simple as healthcare.

I walked into my room and felt it was too much for such a poor area. I couldn't stand the thought of others having so little when I had so much. I turned to face Dr. Cullen as he sat my bag in the room and said; "I don't need all of this."

He glanced around the room and said, "All of what?"

"The dresser, the night stand, the shelf," I said as I pointed out various things in the room.

"Then don't use them," he said with a shrug.

I watched him walk off and I began putting my things away. I hung up my clothes and placed my crucifix on the wall. I washed my hands thoroughly and walked around the small hospital clinic to see what equipment and supplies it held.

I was looking through the drawers of an exam room when a small bell over the front entrance rang, signaling a patient had arrived. I hurried to the front and found a young woman, largely pregnant and holding her abdomen in pain.

"Oh sweetheart, come with me," I said and led her to a back room.

I placed her on the table and began taking her vitals. Dr. Cullen walked in and spoke in Swahili to the woman. He felt her stomach and pulled out the stirrups for her feet. She began to cry and held her stomach with both hands.

Dr. Cullen put on some gloves and pulled up the woman's dress to examine her. He looked at me and smiled, "Glove up, she's ready to push."

I scrubbed up and got clean towels ready. The woman was crying and moaning but I couldn't speak her language to comfort her.

"Does she have family?" I asked Dr. Cullen.

"No, she has already lost three babies, her husband will disown her if she can't have a child," he explained and began speaking to the woman in her native tongue. I raised the back of the table and pulled her forward to push.

The baby was born with relative ease but I could tell by Dr. Cullen's face it was not going well. He cut the cord and placed the baby in the clean towels and I saw it wasn't breathing. He cleared the nose and throat and began breathing in the baby's mouth with small puffs of air. The blood and mucus surrounded his mouth but he continued to work as he added chest compressions.

"Let me," I said and he went back to finish with the woman.

I said a quick prayer and began massaging the baby's chest as I blew in his mouth lightly. "Come on little guy," I coaxed and kissed him gently. "Come on, breathe."

The baby finally began to cry softly and the woman let out a joyful cry herself. I wrapped him in several blankets and placed him in a box and set it on top of the old stove in the kitchen. It was an awful substitute for an incubator but I remembered one of the sisters telling me about her mother doing that many years ago to help a baby retain body heat.

I hooked up a mask to an oxygen bottle and placed the air in front of the small baby. I watched him breathe in and out for hours. Dr. Cullen finally came into the room and checked the baby's vitals. "He needs to cry, to clear his lungs," he said and used a pressure cup to pound on the baby's back.

The little guy cried and coughed, so Dr. Cullen handed me the device and told me to clear his lungs every half an hour. I was diligent and watched the baby throughout the night. It was early the next morning when Dr. Cullen returned to check the baby again.

"You need sleep," I told him, but he only shook his head.

"His lungs sound much better, you're a great nurse," he said and I smiled.

"How's the mother?"

"Scared, none of her babies ever made it through the night. She has hope but it worries her to get too excited."

"Will you tell her I'm praying for her and her baby?" I asked him. He turned to look at me and I could see how tired he was. I decided to add him to my prayers, too.

He shook his head lightly and said, "You're a good nurse, and that is what will save her baby, not some repetitious mumbling."

"Just because you are not a religious man, don't discount other's belief. It may comfort her to know I'm praying for her, can you please tell her?" I begged him.

"Tell her yourself," he said hatefully and walked away.

**Edward**

I was shocked at how creative Bella was with caring for the baby. I found myself growing hopeful this one would actually make it, but I wasn't telling the mother. I couldn't raise her hopes and have her lose another baby.

I lay on my bed and felt my tired muscles begin to relax. I had only planned on sleeping for a few moments but woke up when the sun began filtering through the dusty windows. I tried to listen for the sounds of a baby crying or Bella moving around, but I heard nothing.

I groaned as I pulled myself off of the bed and let my feet shuffled on the hard floor toward the kitchen. The box was lying on the stove but it was empty. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I headed down the hallway to talk to the mother when I heard laughter.

I looked in the room and saw Bella teaching the mother how to breast feed her baby. They were speaking the universal language of women. I walked into the room and smiled at them both. I put on my stethoscope and listened to the baby's lungs. I told the mother he was doing well and she cried and kissed my hands.

I told her it was Bella, who saved her son and she grabbed her hand and kissed it, also.

"You have to be exhausted, Bella, get some sleep," I told her.

She exhaled loudly and gave me an irritated look, but I refused to call her Sister Mary Isabella. She was too young and too hot to be a nun. I wondered what made her choose that life. I watched as she walked out of the room, her long legs moved gracefully and I wondered what she would look like in shorts.

Bella slept most of the morning and when our patient walked out the door with her son, I promised I would give Bella her best. I headed to the kitchen and fixed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I pulled my instruments from the autoclave and pulled the sheets from the bed used by the woman.

After placing them in the washer I returned to the kitchen to find Bella making herself a sandwich. I sat down and opened a bottle of water. Bella sat across from me and smiled when I offered her the water.

"Thanks," she said softly.

I took a bite of my sandwich and she watched me chew. It flustered me so I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms. "What?" I asked knowing she was thinking something.

"I was only wondering why you came here," she said and I laughed.

"I was thinking the exact same thing about you."

"I'm doing God's work," she reiterated.

"I'm doing a physician's work," I offered.

"There has to be more," she said as she continued to stare.

I shrugged, "I want to work for the CDC. Coming here will give me experience with communicable diseases. What about you, there has to be more?" I said and watched her reaction.

She began biting on her lip and her eyes refused to meet mine. I found the action enticing and I had to fight the urge to reach out and touch her full lips. She had perfect porcelain skin and her dark eyelashes gave her a sultry look.

"I'm sure you want to hear some big miraculous story about how a spirit came to me in a dream or I was raised by nuns in a convent, but the truth is, I want to be something, something good."

"You're a good nurse, why isn't that enough?"

"I'm a woman of faith, I'm sure you can't understand," she said and continued to look away from me. I wasn't buying it at all. There was some story behind Sister Mary Isabella, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it.

**Bella**

I couldn't believe I was going to be stuck here with Dr. Cullen and his arrogant ways. He was pushing me to confide in him, and he has done nothing but ridicule me. There was no way I was going to spill my guts to him.

I began to wonder why a good looking young doctor would willingly come to the middle of nowhere without a wife and family. I began to think there was something not quite right with Dr. Cullen. I stood from the table and began cleaning up. He went to his office and left me to explore.

I glanced into his bedroom and noticed there were no photographs or family memorabilia. The room was neat and the bed was actually made. I chuckled and had to admit I was judging Dr. Cullen too harshly. The sheets finished washing so I put them in the small dryer and made my way back to my room to pray.

I kneeled on the hard floor and placed my hands on the edge of the bed. I prayed for Dr. Cullen and for the people who would walk through the clinic door. I asked God to keep us safe and for our minds to be sharp and know how to treat those who come our way.

The sudden pounding on the front door startled me. I crossed myself and stood to see Dr. Cullen walk past my door. I followed him and watched as he glanced out the peephole on the door. His hand rose and he waved me forward, his face looked terrified and he grabbed my arm roughly.

"Don't speak, and do not act like a nurse, understand?" he whispered.

I shook my head back and forth, I had no idea what he was talking about, but his fear caused my own to surface.

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**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	2. Chapter 2

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 2

**2**

**EDWARD**

I could not believe this was happening. I looked out the door to see several men dressed in dirty military uniforms, carrying an injured man. They held large guns and looked around with shifty eyes. I had not had a chance to talk to Bella about the rebel armies and knew one wrong move would get us both killed.

One of the men kicked the door, so I quickly removed my shirt and tossed it behind the door before pulling Bella into my arms and opening it. I tried to act like we had been in bed, and narrowed my eyes to look at the men.

Bella tensed when I pulled her to my chest and I had to hope she wouldn't push me away. She felt like she had gone rigid and had stopped breathing all together. I turned to kiss her hair and whispered, "Relax." She took a deep breath as the men carried their injured compatriot inside.

The man was placed on a table and I pulled my light over to see the wound on his thigh. It looked like it came from a machete and I knew several layers of stitches would be needed. I began gathering supplies and saw Bella looked at me with wide eyes.

I asked the men in Swahili if they spoke English, all of them shook their heads in the negative. "You're my wife, don't look at them or help me at all," I said to Bella and then told them men in their language the woman was my new wife. I asked them if she could return to bed and they agreed.

"Bella, go get in my bed and turn away from the door and don't speak or look at anyone as you leave the room," I instructed her.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly and I smiled and leaned over to kiss her cheek. She blushed deeply and hurried past the three men standing in the doorway.

I stitched up the man as soon as he was numb enough to begin. I didn't worry about making it pretty; I just wanted them out of my hospital as quickly as possible. When I finished I gave him extra shots of pain killer to keep him numb enough to make if far from the town. I handed him some narcotics for pain and told the other men he could leave.

I noticed how they began to look around the room for anything valuable. I never wore a watch and kept only medical supplies on hand. When they asked for food I grabbed a bag of potatoes I had just purchased in the city and gave it to them.

I noticed one man walk down the hallway and look into my room. I had to hope Bella listened and kept her back to the door and remained under the covers. He stared for a few moments and then came back up the hallway.

As soon as they left I locked the door tightly and walked with shaky legs to my room. "It's clear," I said and Bella turned to look at me with terrified eyes. I sat on the edge of my bed and dropped my head into my shaking hands as I took deep breaths.

"Dr. Cullen," she said with a soft voice.

"Edward, I mean, we're married after all," I tried to joke but it wasn't funny. She quickly kicked off the covers and stood against the far wall of my room. I wanted to say something hateful for making me feel like a pervert, but I was too relieved to be alive, making my need to knock her down a peg or two disappear.

"Do those men come around often?" she asked me.

"No, they usually never come around. I just get the bloody patients they leave behind," I explained. "They are rebels and they terrorize the villagers. Single women are taken as sex slaves, so you will have to act like my wife if they ever return."

"Okay," she said with a weak voice as her mouth frowned.

I laughed at her reaction and wondered if it was me specifically she objected to or men in general. I fell back onto my bed and growled loudly to release the pent up emotion. I was exhausted from the stress the men caused and pulled my pillow over my face.

I was just beginning to relax when I realized I never heard Bella leave the room. I pulled the pillow from my head and the room was much darker than before. Bella was sitting against the wall with her head resting on her pulled up knees.

"Hey," I called out softly so I wouldn't scare her.

She looked up and waited for me to speak. "What are you doing?" I asked her, confused at why she stayed, unless she thought she needed my permission to leave.

"I'm scared," she whispered and I actually felt a bit sorry for her.

"Do you want to sleep with me?" I asked in a surprised tone.

"No," she said and looked away.

"Well, you can't sit there all night, you won't be any use to me if you don't rest," I pointed out.

"I can't sleep in a bed with a man, Dr. Cullen," she said as if I was clueless.

I smiled and said, "Well, I'll just tuck my dick and pretend I'm a woman."

Anger flashed across her face and she angrily, "Why do you persist on being so crude to me. I'm a nun not a Saint and I know all about men. You aren't going to shock me or make me cry by your insensitivity, so let's cut the crap, okay?"

"Listen," I said, "I'm tired and just happy to be alive right now. I couldn't get an erection of you were Joan of Arc and told me God commanded it, so grab a blanket and lay at the end of my bed, unless you're afraid my foot will sodomize you."

She jumped up and raised her chin telling me she was taking a stand. She opened the bedroom door and said, "Your mother ought to be arrested for giving birth to you," before storming out of the room.

**BELLA**

I stomped off to my room infuriated at the pompous doctor who seemed to enjoy embarrassing me. I got in my bed and closed my eyes tightly. I kept imagining noises and voices, but I can't sleep in his bed. I would have to go to confession and admit I was attracted to the man.

Who wouldn't be attracted to him, he was nice looking, but I was not here to get caught up in a romance. I gave up that life and I loved my dedication to service. It gave me satisfaction and made me happy. I rolled off the bed and onto my knees as I prayed for strength.

During the middle of the night an awful wailing could be heard echoing off the buildings. I lay frozen in my bed, terrified at what was happening outside. I finally found the courage to get out of bed and open my door to peek into the hallway.

Dr. Cullen's door was shut and I couldn't hear him stirring. The sound grew louder and I hurried down the hall and into his room. He was lying across the bed with his arms wide as he snored softly.

"Dr. Cullen," I called out but he didn't stir. I walked closer and called his name again but he continued to sleep soundly.

The wailing sounded right outside and I sat on the end of the bed and pulled my legs up to hug them with my arms. Doctor Cullen rolled over and kicked me with his leg sending me falling forward off the bed. He jumped up in fright. "Who is there?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, I heard a sound and I was afraid," I explained. The wailing sounded again and I said, "That, what is that sound?

"It's a peacock," he said as he rubbed his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry to wake you," I offered and hated the idea of going back to my room.

I stood at the end of his bed as I chewed on my lip. He finally stood angrily and mumbled, "Son-of-a-bitch," as he left the room. He headed into my room and grabbed the heavy mattress and brought it to his room and threw it onto the floor.

"Thanks," I said sheepishly and crawled onto the mattress.

Dr. Cullen collapsed onto his bed, lying on his stomach. The sound of some strays could be heard barking in the distance and Edward said, "That's only a dog, don't shit yourself."

I closed my eyes and called on Saint Monica, the patron saint of patience, to please help me. I would somehow find the strength to return to my own room the next night, even if it killed me to do it.

I woke up feeling rested and refreshed. I looked around for Doctor Cullen but his bed was empty. When I entered the hallway I could hear him speaking loudly with someone. He sounded happy and laughed often. I entered the kitchen to see a young village girl sitting at the table. She appeared to be nine or ten and her large smile showed off very big teeth. Her eyes grew wide when she saw me standing in the doorway and I instantly began trying to flatten my wild hair.

"Edward," she called out in a very thick accent. "Who is the woman?"

He spun around to see me in the doorway and smirked as I blushed from my cowardice last night.

"Bella, this is Lulu, she's my girlfriend," Dr. Cullen said.

The young girl covered her mouth to hide her teeth and laughed loudly. I walked over to extend my hand and said, "I'm Sister Mary Isabella."

The girl looked at my hand and then back to Dr. Cullen as she continued to giggle. "Just call her Bella," he instructed and I wanted to smack him.

"You seem way too old to be his girlfriend," I said and glared over at him making Lulu laugh even harder.

"We're going to marry someday, aren't we Lulu?" he asked and brought a cup of coffee to set in front of me.

"Thank you," I said and Lulu beamed up at the young doctor.

"Oh doctor, I cannot marry you," she said sounding almost French by the way she spoke. I chuckled and gave Dr. Cullen a knowing glance.

There was something painful in his eyes and I felt shameful laughing at him. He looked at the little girl with genuine affection and said, "Go to school, Lulu. I can't keep you forever."

She smiled and stood to reveal she had only one leg. She grabbed a piece of wood fashioned into a crutch and hobbled out the door. I sat with my hand over my mouth and tried so hard to keep the tears at bay. He sat across from me and sighed loudly.

I saw a new side of Edward Cullen, and felt I had judged him too harshly yet again. He brought joy to a little girl and took time to make her feel special. I felt the need to apologize to him and when I looked into his eyes I lost my nerve. His green eyes were so easy to read and I could tell there was something painful in his past. He ran his hand through his hair and then let it fall onto the table to drum his fingers.

"I ran," I said softly, doing what I swore I would never do and began spilling my guts. "I was engaged and I woke up one morning and realized I was miserable, terrified, and wanting out of my life."

**Edward**

I listened to her confession and wondered what was so awful about the guy to make her want to be a nun instead of a wife. She was beautiful, spunky, and obviously intelligent, but something made her come here to hide. I felt the urge to purge my own soul and cleared my throat before speaking.

"I was tired of living in my father's shadow," I said softly, "I was privileged, ungrateful, and developing a drinking problem. I decided to do something selfless, which was suicide for my deeply developed persona. I just got sick of all the…pretentious shit."

Her eyes filled with tears and she continued to stare at me. I decided to just put it all out there. "I'm not a reverent person and I can't say I understand your life's vocation in the church, but you are a really good nurse and I'm glad you're here."

"I understand the male, female tension," she said with a slight blush, "But I take my vows seriously. I want to be useful Dr. Cullen and I am very focused."

I laughed at her phrasing and felt the need to translate into more direct words. "Are you saying you will not be fooled by my charm and I can forget about ever fucking you?"

"That is exactly what I am saying," she laughed and raised her coffee mug to click with mine.

"So," I hesitated before continuing, "What was wrong with the fiancé?" I had to admit I was intrigued and a bit jealous that another man held her attention. I was used to warding off advances from women and this one had no interest in me whatsoever.

**BELLA**

I was really hoping he wouldn't ask me about Jake; it wasn't something I wanted to talk about, and especially not with him. I could see something he was trying to keep hidden and it made me want to comfort him. He came here to find the good inside his soul, something or someone made him feel bad, and that broke my heart.

"Well, I guess there was nothing wrong with him, just wrong with us. He had everything planned out, where we would live, how many children, and every step of our careers. I looked at him one day and thought, I don't want to live there or have his kids, and I sure don't want to climb the corporate ladder. Everyone kept asking what I planned on doing with my life. Why did I have to be his wife to have meaning?"

"Are you asking me?" he asked.

"No," I smiled, "it was a rhetorical question."

"You're too big to fit into his shadow," he said seriously and I grew nervous from his observation. "It takes a very big self image to come here to Africa and do what you're doing."

"Conceit is not a virtue," I said honestly.

"I'm not talking about conceit, just assurance. If you want to think it is God given go ahead. I think there is too much of you, too much Bella, to be held back."

I sighed, "Why do you call me that?"

"Don't hide from me," he pleaded. "Sister Mary Isabella is a big title but it says nothing about you. Bella is small and lets all of you show."

I laughed loudly and he looked a bit embarrassed by his admission. "I think you give me too much credit, Dr. Cullen."

"Edward," he said emphatically. "My father is Dr. Cullen."

"Ah, the shadow you are walking away from," I said with a nod.

"Exactly, I look at Lulu and I wonder if I would be as strong as she is under similar circumstances. Could I lose my leg for no reason and then use a piece of wood that causes my skin to tear just so I could walk?"

"Can we find her a crutch?" I asked dumbly.

"It would make her a target, she is safer with the piece of wood," he said sadly.

I shook my head and he said cynically, "Your God is not too judicious in Africa."

"Well, at least we have you Dr. Cullen, who needs God?" I said angrily and instantly wanted to flog myself for lashing out at him. "I'm sorry," I offered.

"Don't apologize," he chuckled, "I have no boxes to put you in, so feel free to be yourself."

I stood and walked off needing to be far from him. He made me so angry and I needed to take a walk and look around a bit, to get my bearings and feel like part of the village. I refused to admit I missed him when I was away from the small building. I pretended it was the simple fact we were the only two American's in the village.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	3. Chapter 3

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 3

**BELLA**

I returned after a couple of hours to find Dr. Cullen with a patient. I felt awful for being away so long. I washed my hands and entered the exam room. I saw a mother with her son. He was so thin and his stomach was distended, but his nutrition was not the problem.

I looked at his leg which was covered in bite marks. "Wild dogs," Dr. Cullen said softly. He was cleaning the wounds as the boy cried loudly. I reached in the drawer and pulled out brightly colored wrapping. It caught the boy's attention so I held up orange and bright blue. He reached for the blue.

"Hand me that ointment," Dr. Cullen said and I opened a tube and placed some on a long swab.

"Is there a chance of rabies?" I asked.

"I don't have any rabies immune globulin," he said with a tight voice. I looked at the small boy and felt my heart sink. Wild dogs would most certainly have rabies and this poor child would suffer greatly. Dr. Cullen noticed my expression.

"You better pray for him," Dr. Cullen said as he removed his gloves and threw them angrily into the trash. His own feelings of uselessness were evident and if we couldn't do anything more I would certainly call on God to do something.

I knelt beside the exam table and prayed fervently for God to protect this small child. He had nothing and deserved an opportunity to at least age. I knew it would be God's will if he lived or died, but I would be this boy's advocate for as long as he was on this earth.

"Asante, Asante," his mother said over and over again. I looked up and she was nodding and holding her hands together in prayer.

"She says, thank you," Dr. Cullen translated without turning to look at us.

I stood and kissed her hands and then pulled the boy's forehead to my lips. I was overcome with emotion and even hugged Dr. Cullen. He patted my back awkwardly, and walked from the room. I watched the mother carry her son out of the clinic and hoped the boy would be fine, but I knew better.

I headed to my room and noticed the mattress was still gone. I went into Dr. Cullen's room and tried to lift the bulky pad. I was pulling it from the room when he walked up behind me and reached over me to help pull. I stepped back right onto his foot and when he let go of the mattress the weight of it knocked us both down.

He yelled out in pain and I couldn't get the mattress off of us so we both began frantically pushing it away. He screamed in more pain and yelled, "Stop, stop, you're smashing my nuts."

I froze and held perfectly still as he worked the mattress with his hands and legs, which I was tucked between. I was finally able to stand and the weight of my body pushed against him, causing him to give a guttural roar and grab his crotch.

"I'm sorry," I offered as heartfelt as I could, but the sight of him pulled into the fetal position with his hands between his legs made me laugh.

"Oh my God, you're so evil," he moaned and rolled onto his other side.

I ran to the kitchen and put some ice in a pack and ran back into the hallway. "Here's some ice," I said holding it out to him.

"I'm going to vomit," he said and before I could get a bowl he emptied his stomach onto the cement floor.

"Let me help you up," I begged and pulled on his arm. He stood slowly and remained bent in a crouch as I led him over the mattress and into his room. He moaned the whole way and when he fell onto the bed I moved his hand and placed the ice pack between his legs.

"How emasculating is this?" he complained.

"An injury is an injury," I said and truly worried about how badly he could be hurt.

"This was not what I had in mind when I thought of you and my testicles," he said and rolled away from me.

"The fact you even thought something differently about a nun shows how truly contemptible you are," I said with frustration.

"You're a woman first," he said emphatically.

"Oh, well in that case, strip off your clothing and let's have at it."

He began unbuttoning his pants and I threw the ice pack at him and stomped from the room to clean the vomit as he laughed loudly. If his genitals had been within reach of my foot I would have kicked them hard. I didn't know what it would take to make him understand my devotion to the church.

**EDWARD**

I watched her stomp from the room and tried to find an ounce of remorse, but I had to admit, teasing her was fun. She reminded me of a little girl playing dress up, but in her case there wasn't the costume of a habit to be playing in. She didn't fit the role of a nun. She did fit the role of a nurse, but the rest was a mantel too heavy for her thin shoulders.

She should be laughing and dancing and enjoying life, loved properly by a man she felt genuine affection for. How do you woo a woman away from God, and is it even possible? I was getting in way over my head.

I took the ice pack and placed it precariously between my legs and let my head fall back. What was I doing in the middle of fucking Africa, living with a nun, icing my balls? If my life was a movie nobody would believe it.

I heard the shower turn on and moaned again. Now I had to lie here and imagine her in the shower, naked, glistening with wet drops running down her body. "Shit," I screamed into the air and then punched the cement wall. Exactly how sinful would it be to masturbate to the image of a nun?

The shower turned off and I forced myself up to take her mattress into her room. I headed down the hallway just as she exited the bathroom, totally naked. I was speechless. I should have coughed or made a noise but she had her hair falling to one side as she dried it with a towel. All I could do was stand there and stare.

She finally turned to see me and screamed loudly, scrambling to wrap the towel around her body. "What are you doing?" she yelled.

"I'm taking the mattress into your room, why aren't you dressed?"

"I thought you would be resting with the ice pack, why aren't you resting with the ice pack?" she said with a red face.

"I heal a lot faster to the sight of breasts," I said trying to sound serious. "Drop the towel and cure me."

"You're a heathen," she said refusing to meet my stare.

"You have a hot body, Bella," I said and picked up the mattress.

"Would you say such a thing to Ruth, or Miriam, or…"

"Who are they, strippers?"

She gasped loudly and narrowed her eyes which finally looked at me. She entered her room and slammed the door causing the windows to shake. I pulled the mattress with me as I stood in front of the thin wooden protection and raised my foot to kick it hard, causing it to splinter around the hinges and fall open.

She had already dropped her towel so she tried to hide behind the dresser, as I pulled the mattress into her room and lifted it onto the box springs. I turned to see her eyes peeking over the furniture to look at me. I smacked the top of the dresser with both hands before saying, "Now aren't you glad you have all of this stuff?"

"Get out," she seethed.

I smiled and nodded towards her chest, "Nice, thirty two-C, I'd guess."

"You are such an ass," she said and then closed her eyes as if she was punishing herself.

"You have a nice one of those, too," I chuckled and left the room.

I heard her drawers open and close quickly as she tried to dress before I could return. I decided to relieve the pressure and jumped in the shower to take care of matters myself. It didn't feel sinful at all.

**BELLA**

For the first time I had to admit he was getting to me. I considered leaving just to get away from him. My determination not to let him win was quickly falling by the wayside and self preservation was kicking in. He was crude, and arrogant, and disrespectful, and gorgeous, and witty, and had a kind side. I stomped my foot in anger at myself and went into the kitchen to prepare some dinner.

I made some rice with various herbs and mixed in a can of tuna. I made a plate for myself and put the rest in the fridge for him to eat, but I refused to sit with him. I took the food to my room and ate as I read the Bible. I felt better, nourished, and not by just the food.

When I took my plate back to wash he was sitting at the table. "This is pretty good," he said as he held up his fork.

"Thanks," I said and turned to leave after washing the plate.

"How old are you, Bella?" he asked.

I turned slowly to glare at him for using my name incorrectly.

"I'm not going to say it, ever," he informed me.

"I'm twenty six, how old are you, Eddie?" I said with a smirk.

He looked up with just his eyes and gave me a crooked smile. "That will get you tossed out on your ass," he said.

"Dr. Cullen is just a title which is too big for you," I said mockingly, "Eddie lets you be yourself, a total dick."

"Wow, a nun named my dick, I think I just witnessed a miracle," he laughed.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I asked on the verge of tears. He pushed, and pushed me, only to laugh and flirt. I was tired of trying to keep up with his banter and I wanted him to respect me and my beliefs.

"Come on Bella, if we were in grade school I would be sticking your braids in the ink. I want your attention, hell, I want you in my bed," he said honestly to push me right into tears. I simply stared at him as tears fell down my face. I had no idea how to get through to him.

"I don't want to leave," I cried.

He looked embarrassed, or remorseful, and I felt a bit troubled by my outburst. "I don't want you to leave," he said in confusion.

"I want you to respect me," I said as I began wringing my hands. He sat quietly for a moment and then kicked the chair out from under the table and nodded for me to sit.

I sat and kept my head down, waiting for him to speak.

"I'm twenty-eight. I was in a serious relationship and one day I was having an argument with my father and realized I was turning into him. I walked step for step into his life and had nothing from me. I didn't love her, but I did love medicine, so I walked away and never looked back."

"How long have you been here," I asked.

"Eight months."

"How long do you plan on staying?"

"I have no idea, I will most likely be killed by rebels or contract a disease, and either one would be preferable to going home," he said with conviction.

I looked at him and nodded, knowing exactly what he was feeling. He shook his head back and forth and said, "I don't want you to waste a moment. We are in danger here, and I want you to feel…free, to be who you are, so if it all ends tomorrow you have no regrets."

"See, I don't believe if we die tomorrow it ends, I believe we live on in God's kingdom and what we do here matters," I tried to explain.

"Helping these people has to carry some weight with your God," he said and I shook my head. He wasn't going to convince me being a nurse was enough and I should forget my vows.

"He's the God of everyone," I pointed out.

We both sat quietly and I finally ask him, "Who was the woman?"

"Woman?"

"The relationship you left."

"Oh, she was perfect on paper, a pediatrician, a wealthy family, and willing to work her ass off to change me. But who wants perfection?" he laughed.

"Where are you from?" I asked him.

"Chicago originally, my family lives in Seattle now."

I laughed and realized we had something in common after all. "I'm from Forks, Washington. I went to school in Seattle."

"You're kidding, I know where Forks is," he said with excitement.

"You are such a liar, nobody knows where Forks is," I laughed.

"I met a girl from there, Jessica Stanley, do you know her?"

"Oh my God, yes I know her, I know her very well." I looked at him for a moment and then screamed as I pointed at him. "You're the hair guy."

"The hair guy?" he asked in confusion.

I let my eyes drop, I had heard all about him from Jessica, and I mean intimate details. She met him when he was in medical school and was sure they would spend forever together. He called her a few times, just for sex, and she was left heartbroken.

"I was young," he said with a regretful voice.

"I'm sure when she cried herself to sleep, that realization comforted her," I said to burden his mind.

He nodded like he understood. I'm sure age gave him a different perspective; at least I hope it did.

**EDWARD**

Well, now I knew my chances with her were completely gone. I treated the Stanley girl like my personal hooker, calling when I needed a release and nothing more. I cringed at the stuff she would have heard about me.

I had to admit I was hoping for the same thing with this woman. I got lonely here and needed someone warm to hold. I didn't give any consideration to her hopes and dreams, I was such an ass. I decided right at that moment I would be more respectful of her and hope we could be like brother and sister.

I stood and opened a drawer to pull out a small pair of walkie talkies. I handed her one and she took it with confusion on her face.

"It might make you feel safer at night," I said and she smiled before crossing herself.

I suddenly felt very guilty for my shower.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	4. Chapter 4

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 4

**EDWARD**

Over the next few months Bella and I fell into a comfortable routine. She took care of the cleaning duties around the clinic and I took care of the instruments and medical supplies. She would take long walks in the mornings, if we were free, and I took long walks at night.

My favorite part of the day was bed time. Bella would say her prayers and then turn on her walkie talkie so we could talk until we were almost asleep. It was so much easier to talk when I didn't have to stare at her beautiful face. I felt braver and able to speak from my heart.

She grew tolerant of the name Bella, and I finally got her to call me Edward. One night she was speaking softly into the radio and asked, "Edward, do you hate your father?"

"No, not at all, he's a great man, I just wanted to be my own man, too," I confessed to her.

"Did you ever go to a church?" she pressed.

"Until the age of around twelve, we were Methodist."

"Why did you stop?"

"I found sleeping on Sunday more rewarding," I chuckled. "My older brother was going through his rebellious stage, so I took advantage of my parent's lack of attention."

"How many siblings do you have?"

"My brother Emmett is married to a woman named Rosalie. My sister Alice is married to Jasper. You could say I'm the black sheep of the family."

"I'm sure they are very proud of you," she said softly and I closed my eyes. I truly hoped she was right. I had walked away without much of an explanation and left them to clean up my mess. Dying in the middle of Uganda was probably what I deserved.

"Bella, do you have siblings?" I asked her.

"No, it's just me," she said and it made me smile.

"I think 'just you' would be plenty," I whispered.

We were quiet for a bit and I finally asked, "What do you miss the most from America?"

"Dove bars," she said quickly. "I would do anything for an ice cold Drove bar."

I laughed and wished so badly I had access to a grocery store at this moment. We made trips into the big city twice a month and I tried to think of someplace that would possibly have one. I usually headed to the hospital for supplies and she would attend mass. We would meet up for dinner and then shop for personal items. We stayed in the same hotel each time, her in the bed and me in a hammock.

**BELLA**

Edward was quiet for a bit so I asked, "What is your heart missing from America?" He laughed uncomfortably and I quickly said, "Forget it."

"You asked," he said with a chuckle and then confessed, "Actually, I miss the smell of the ocean."

A familiar feeling ran through me and I sighed, "Ah, yes."

"The sound of seagulls screeching in protest as the fishing boats come in to port. The constant movement of cars and the smell of perfume on women," he said with a forlorn voice.

"That was poetic," I said and he sighed loudly. It made my heart ache for him. I knew a new version of Edward Cullen now and he was a truly kind man.

"Good night, Edward," I said softly into the radio.

"Good night, Bella," he replied.

I kicked off the sticky sheet and lay in the dark thinking about the man just down the hallway. I loved watching him with Lulu. He made her feel special and never mentioned her missing leg or raw arms. She was not a patient when she came here, she was his friend.

I was growing accustom to the limited amount of care we were able to give these people. I had to hope God would make up the difference. My prayers grew longer and longer and I began to feel smaller and smaller.

By morning we were rushing to the bus stop for another supply run and noticed rebel soldiers standing next to the old building. Edward reached out and took my hand and I let my eyes fall to the dirt. We put our empty bags, which would be full when we returned, onto the ground, and Edward pulled me to his chest. I stood in front of him with my arms around his waist and we pretended to be aware of only each other.

"You okay?" he asked softly as he stared into my eyes.

"Are they getting on the bus?" I asked just as softly.

"I think so," he said with a smile, looking like we were having an intimate conversation.

"Should we stay?" I asked him and he ran his fingers through my hair giving me chills. His hands ran down the length of my back and he only shook his head back and forth.

My own hands were beginning to run up and down his back and I felt his arms tighten around me. He placed his lips on my forehead as he looked up to see what the men were doing. I stared at his chest the entire time and when the bus arrived I looked at the ground and let Edward lead me to a seat.

He put his arm around my shoulder, and I placed my cheek on his chest, with my arms around his waist, and closed my eyes as if to rest. I could hear his heart beating and feel the rise and fall of each breath. His hand patted my shoulder and he whispered, "You're shaking."

I wanted him to believe it was due to the danger the other men posed, but it was actually due to the danger he was to me. I liked holding him in my arms and felt safe in his. I liked the smell of his skin and the way his shirt clung to the sweat on his body.

**EDWARD**

As the bus crawled along I realized I was no longer aware of the men around me. I was holding Bella because I wanted to hold her. I let my fingers play in her hair and I frequently put my lips to her head and kissed it affectionately. I never had this kind of intimacy with a woman. All of my relationships were based on sex. This was…nice.

Her hands locked around my waist and her little finger moved slightly up and down against the tiny portion of exposed skin on my side. It was driving me insane but I never wanted it to stop. She eventually fell asleep and I moved her head back so I could see her face.

I wanted to kiss her lips so badly, but I settled for letting my fingertips lightly run along the curve of her mouth. She parted her lips and my heart skipped a beat or two. I could feel her warm breath against my fingers as they rested on her bottom lip.

We hit a rough patch of road and her eyes opened to see me looking down at her. I held her chin and continued to look into her eyes. She looked at me with wonder and I couldn't stop myself from lowering my head and brushing my own lips lightly across hers.

"Edward, no," she whispered but sounded completely unconvincing.

"I'm not doing anything," I said as I touched my mouth to hers again.

Her hand began to make its way slowly up my chest and I could feel her shaking in my arms. I felt like my heart was going to come out of my throat and I cursed the bumpy road. I wished we were in the hotel right now, so I could pull her against my aching body.

Her fingers touched my jaw and I inhaled sharply. They wandered slowly to my chin where she finally placed them between our mouths to cut off access for me. I moved back and looked at her closed eyes. I watched her run her own fingers over her mouth, as if she was memorizing the feel of our kiss.

I moved to speak into her ear and said, "God, I want you so badly."

She instantly pulled out of my arms and sat up, pretending to stretch her neck and back. My shirt was stuck to my body where she had been laying. I pulled it free and let my own limbs stretch.

I glanced over to see one of the men staring at me so I quickly picked up her hand and held it to my thigh. I let my head fall back against the window and closed my eyes. My focus was not on the man with the large gun, it was on the feel of the small, warm hand lying on my leg.

**BELLA**

I was already planning out my confessional. I would have to admit a man kissed me and I allowed it. I would tell the priest we were pretending to be married, but I had forgotten all about the pretence and made the man desire me.

I looked at his hand lying over mine as it rested on his leg. His fingers were long and his veins stuck out prominently on the back of his fist. He had trustworthy hands, holding the hopes of so many sick and injured people; I wanted to believe Christ's hand would have looked similar to Edward's.

When his head fell back and his eyes closed I looked at his face. His wide jaw was usually covered in stubble and I had yet to see him clean shaven. He had small lines where his smile formed and I loved the way he looked when he laughed.

I had the urge to run my fingers over the thin lines between his eyes, where his brow would furrow when he was concentrating or working on a patient. I realized I knew his face line for line. I knew more about Edward Cullen's face than any other man I knew.

The bus pulled to a stop and Edward sat up to look at me. I smiled and his didn't react, he only continued to stare and I felt my heart speed up. I let my eyes fall to the floor and I stood to wait for him to retrieve our empty bags.

I walked down the aisle of the bus in front of him as he held onto some material of my shirt. When he stepped onto the paved road he put his arm protectively around my shoulder and led me quickly away. I waited for him to say we were in the clear and I could begin navigating myself, but he remained at my side and didn't speak.

We usually parted as soon as we got to the city so I could attend mass, but he held me tightly and I began to grow nervous. I needed my spiritual nourishment to fight the sinful attraction I was feeling for Edward. I needed to sit in the confessional and unburden my mind and heart so I could continue on. I finally slowed my pace and he looked down at me.

"Are you going to the hospital for supplies?" I asked.

He leaned in to speak into my ear and said, "The streets are loaded with rebels, we need to get to the hotel and out of the way." He kissed my head for effect; at least I think that was why he did it. I began walking again and made sure to keep up with his long legs.

My faith could not be placed in the hands of a Priest today; it would have to remain in the hands of Edward Cullen.

**EDWARD**

I could tell something was going on, there was going to be some sort of confrontation between the rebels and the government and we were right in the middle of it. I walked right past our usual hotel. We needed to do everything differently today and hope we didn't end up betrayed by those we usually dealt with.

I pulled Bella into a large modern hotel and check us in under the name Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. I paid in cash and made sure to double the amount that was asked for. We got to our room and I instantly pulled the drapes shut and barricaded the door with a chair under the knob.

Bella looked terrified and I wanted to comfort her, but she was right in her assessment. We were in danger and I had to hope I didn't condemn us both for insisting we still come today.

"Edward, it isn't your fault," she said, knowing I was beating myself up inside.

I took her hands in mine and pulled her to the bed to sit. "Listen, I want to teach you a sentence in Swahili. Natoka America, Wapi Semu."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means you're an American and you need to use the phone," I told her and made her repeat it several times. I pulled an embassy card from my pocket and placed it in the front pocket of her jeans.

"I'm scared," she said and scooted closer to me. I pulled her into an embrace and tried to calm my own breathing.

"We will just stay out of sight and hope whatever is going to happen will happen soon. Stay away from the windows and do not answer that door. I don't care if the Pope is knocking, don't answer."

She laughed lightly and said, "If the Pope knocks, I am going to answer."

"Okay, only if it's the Pope," I laughed with her.

**BELLA**

I wanted to ask him so badly if I could pray for us, but I knew it would only anger him. I really did feel safe in his presence, but we needed all the help would could get. I planned on waiting until he got some rest and then I would sneak into the closet and offer fervent prayers up to heaven.

We sat in the dark room, against the wall, for several hours and I finally looked over at Edward. His jaw was tight and he was deep in thought. "Hey," I said as I bumped his shoulder with mine. "Want to play a game?"

"A game?" he laughed. "I think you're losing your mind."

"Come on, twenty questions. I have done something I bet your have never done, now you get to ask twenty questions to find out what it is," I explained.

"I don't need to ask any questions, you've hung onto you virginity," he said as he rolled his eyes.

I quickly looked away and pulled my knees up to hide my red face. I wished I would have kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to play anymore and I knew he wouldn't let the comment just pass. He surprised me by not pushing for an answer and simply said, "I'm sorry. Okay, let me see, is it something athletic?"

I thought for a moment and said, "Kind of, not an actual sport but it takes a bit of athleticism."

"Can men and women do it?"

"Yes."

"Would you let your child do it?" he asked and I smiled at the question.

"Never," I answered.

"Did it cost you money?" he asked.

"No, it can be done for free."

"Can it be done anywhere?'

"No, it has to be at specific places," I smiled.

"Was it done when you lived in Forks?"

"Yes," I said hoping he couldn't guess.

"Did you do it alone?"

"Yes, but it can be done with others."

"Did it get you wet or dirty?"

"Yes," I smiled.

"Did you jump off a cliff into the ocean?" he asked and I groaned loudly.

"How did you guess, I thought for sure I would win that round?"

"Truthfully?" he asked and I nodded. "Jessica Stanley told me it was a big thing in Forks."

"I can't believe you not only listened to what she said, but remembered it years later," I said to hurt his feelings and make myself feel better about not winning the game. "It was a bigger deal for me because Police Chief Swan is my father."

"Is that what made you become a nun, a strict father?"

His comment angered me and I wanted to strike back. "At least I wasn't afraid of his shadow," I said to bait Edward.

He didn't ruffle at all and simply said, "My turn. I bet I have something on my body that you don't."

"Very funny," I said with disgust.

"Not male genitalia, something else."

"Is it something I can see when you are clothed?" I asked.

"No," he laughed.

"Does you mother know you have it?"

"Yes."

"Has she seen it?"

"No."

"A tattoo?" I asked, certain I was right and ahead in the game.

"No," he answered to surprise me.

"Do other people have it, too?"

"A few," he answered.

"A scar?"

"Nope."

"Were you born with it?"

"No."

"Does it grow?" I asked and he laughed as I blushed.

"No."

"Would you let your child have one?" I asked using one of his questions.

"After the age of eighteen, sure."

I sat in silence for several minutes and I tried to come up with anything he could have on his body. I finally had to concede and admit I had no idea. He smiled and leaned his head to watch my eyes when he said, "I have my foreskin pierced."

"You are such a liar," I said and shook my head.

"I'll show you if you don't believe me," he said and reached for his jeans.

"That's not funny," I said and pushed him hard to the side.

"Okay, I win," he announced and I wasn't about to disagree for fear he would actually prove he indeed did, or did not, have a piercing.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	5. Chapter 5

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 5

**BELLA**

As soon as night fell chaos broke out on the streets. Gunfire could be heard and we moved into the bathroom out of fear of stray bullets. I held my rosary tightly to me and prayed as my hands shook and my heart pounded.

When we could smell smoke another fear set in and I became worried about being burned alive. Once in awhile we could hear running down the hallway of the hotel, but nobody tried to come through our door and I had hope we would make it through the night.

After a couple of loud explosions brought bits of plaster down on our heads, the sounds of gunfire began to fade. Another sound took its place, sounds of crying and begging for help. Edward stood and commanded me to stay put.

"I'm a nurse, I can be of help to you," I pointed out.

He shook his head and reached for the door when I cried out, "Edward, I want to be with you, don't leave me here."

He stared at me for several moments and then slowly lifted his hand for mine. I jumped up from the tub and took the extended hand with my shaking one. He pulled me into his arms and I stared into his eyes. I could see the determination set in. He didn't believe he would be alive when this was over and he wanted to die doing what he loved, instead of hiding in this room.

I put my palm to his cheek and his eyes fluttered for a moment. I wanted to tell him he was brave, and his desire to help people made him about God's work, but that would not have comforted him. Instead I brought my mouth to his cheek and kissed it tenderly.

His other hand let go of the doorknob and moved into my hair as he pulled my mouth to his. He kissed me so deeply I was arched back over his arm as he held me tightly. He inhaled as his lips moved frantically against mine. When his warm tongue plunged into my mouth I moaned unwillingly at the sensation. It was at that moment I realized my arms were wrapped around his neck and I was holding his head tightly to mine.

My leg had lifted to his hip and the hand he had around my waist was resting on my bottom pulling me into him. I thought of my reverend mother, and the old priest I had been meeting with here in the city. I thought of my parents, who were so proud of my decision to become a nun, and I thought of Jake, who never understood my desire to go far away. I thought of all my vows and then only one thing screamed to me in my brain, "I don't care."

**EDWARD**

I had her in my arms, pressed against me, kissing her with all the passion that had built up inside me, and it was better than I could have ever imagined. She responded to my every touch, my need to be consumed by her was shared as our hands wandered over each other's bodies. I didn't touch her intimately. I simply held her, pulling her body to mine and wanting to scream from the feelings it produced.

My breaths were labored and I was gasping as if I couldn't get enough oxygen. My heart was pounding and I was growing frustrated that I couldn't quite get the intangible feeling my body was demanding. It wasn't sex; it was the sense of needing so much more. I physically needed her heart to love mine.

A loud knock came on our hotel room door and we both broke apart instantly. Someone was yelling for a doctor and I quickly ran to the door. Bella and I headed down the stairs and out onto the open street. People were lying everywhere and black smoke rose into the sky. The wailing of ambulances could be heard and I grabbed Bella's hand and ran toward the hospital.

Wounded people were lying everywhere and I began doing my own triage, looking for those who were the most seriously injured. I yelled for Bella to remain at my side, not to leave under any circumstances. I grabbed a sheet off of one of the stretchers and began making tourniquets. Bella was showing loved ones how to hold the ligature tightly and would quickly follow behind me.

I found a rebel soldier close to death and was tempted to pass over him, but I stopped and tied his arm to his abdomen to keep the blood flow contained. Bella held his wound tightly with her bare hands becoming covered in blood. One of his comrades watched us work, surely ready to take our lives if we lost the patient.

I turned the man on his side and saw an exit wound. The blood was bright red, telling me his vital organs weren't hit. I removed his belt and secured more bandaging around the front and back of him. Surgeons were making their way through the crowd and saw the man, pulling the stretcher away with them. Bella and I ran to the large fountain in front of the hospital and washed off our bloody hands before returning to continue working.

We continued through the morning hours and the smell of blood and death was everywhere, mixed with the smoke and gunpowder. I was feeling exhausted and sick to my stomach. I looked up to see how Bella was doing and saw her praying over me. Her hand was directly over my head and her eyes were looking skyward as her lips moved rapidly. When she saw me looking at her, she stepped back quickly.

**BELLA**

He worked at a frantic pace; doing everything he could to stabilize the people who could be helped. He was creative and inventive at coming up with bandaging, but infection would most likely kill these people. Many accepted limited care and then took their loved ones off with them.

Edward looked exhausted and I worried about his hydration. I prayed for him many times over the past hours, but he caught me once and I knew he would most likely be angry later. I had to do something for him, and it was the best I could offer.

When other medical personnel began to arrive I grabbed Edward's arm and pulled him aside. "You need to rest, Edward," I said and he took a deep breath. "Come with me."

I led him back towards the hotel and he stopped to purchase some water and various food items like chips and cookies. We climbed the stairs slowly and when we entered the room I went to turn on the shower for him.

He drank one bottle of water quickly and I pushed him towards the bathroom. He pulled off his sweaty shirt and removed his jeans, standing in just his boxers when he turned to look at me. "I'll leave these on and you can shower in your shirt, but we may not have water for long."

I nodded and he turned to leave as I hesitantly removed my jeans. I entered the shower behind him and watched the water fall over his shoulders and down his back. He leaned against the wall in exhaustion and I stepped up to take the soap and wash him clean. The cool water was soothing and he kept his eyes closed as I ran my soapy hands over his body.

When I finished he moved out of my way and let me clean myself and wash my hair. I stepped out of the shower and found my bag in the room, so I quickly changed into fresh clothes and went into the dark sleeping room. Edward was sound asleep with a bag of chips on his chest and I laughed softly.

I moved the food and climbed up on the bed. I didn't climb under the covers and fell asleep as I stared at Edward's face.

When I finally woke up it was dark again and the city was eerily quiet. I looked at the other side of the bed and it was empty. I shot up and yelled out Edward's name. The bathroom door opened and he looked out with a face covered in shaving cream.

"Sorry," I said embarrassingly.

"I wouldn't leave you, love," he said and I had to force myself to swallow. Now that everything was calm I had to face what I had done. I wondered if Edward would be willing to escort me to the church so I could confess my sins. I would never go alone, but how could I tell him it was wrong to allow him to kiss me, and worse to respond to it?

"Are we leaving soon?" I asked him.

"We'll try to catch the bus in the morning," he said from the other room.

"Why are you shaving?" I asked and regretting pointing it out.

He came back into the room and smiled at me. "I found some decent razors in the cabinet. It's been awhile since I had a clean shave, plus you'll see my gorgeous face."

I turned over in the bed and refused to look at him. I was fully aware of how gorgeous he was and didn't need anything to remind me. I knew I had to talk to him about the kissing and I also knew it wasn't going to go well. I decided to stop being a chicken and get it over with.

I walked into the bathroom as he was rinsing off his face. "Do you need in here?" he asked.

"I just wanted to apologize for earlier, you know, what happened between us. I think it was fear or…"

He turned and leaned against the sink as he stared at me. "I'll confess, of course," I said as my voice began to shake.

"Bullshit," he said angrily.

"What?" I asked.

"You heard me, that wasn't adrenalin and you know it. You kissed me back and responded in every way."

"Again, I apologize," I offered.

He pointed at me as he passed to go into the other room. "You've been with a man before and you knew what you were doing."

I began to cry as I stood frozen in the bathroom. His words hurt so much because he spoke the truth. I was weak and my weakness followed me into my life of celibacy. I had to realize we were both tired and stressed from the events of the past days. I washed my face and walked slowly back into the room.

**EDWARD**

I couldn't believe she was going to try to play off our passion as stress. She touched me like a woman who had touched a man before. I could feel her need for me and I wasn't going to let her apologize for it.

She walked into the room and looked at me hesitantly. "Pack your stuff, we leave at first light," I said and lay back on the bed. She took her time packing and I pretended to be asleep when she came back and lay on the end of the bed.

We were both awake and pretending to be totally unaware of the other. When it was time to leave I grabbed our still empty bags and headed out the door. She followed behind looking totally distraught. When we reached the bus station the rebels were standing around again.

I looked back at Bella and she sighed loudly. I dropped the bags harshly and pulled her a little roughly into my arms. She didn't complain and kept her eyes down, but I could see the tears forming. I put my cheek against hers and said, "I'm sorry."

"No, don't," she said and let her forehead fall onto my chest.

"You need to stay here, I'll take you to the church," I said into her ear.

She looked up into my eyes with such pain I felt sick. I realized at that moment I was falling in love for the first time in my life. It hurt because there wasn't a chance in the world she would leave her God for me.

"You want me to leave the clinic?" she asked softly.

"No, I want you to leave me, because staying hurts me, and I am so selfish that I don't want to hurt anymore."

"Why do I hurt you?" she asked as her tears fell from her eyes.

"Because I can't fight for your love, and you won't willingly give it to me. You're in danger and I don't want to watch you die," I admitted.

"I will only die if it is God's will," she said and her words cut like a knife. I wanted to be talking to Bella, the woman; I didn't want the nun to be answering for her. I glanced around to see a few of the men watching us so I used it as an excuse.

"We need to make up for the prying eyes," I said and used my finger to lift her chin so I could softly kiss her mouth. She melted into me and let me move her lips however I wanted. I kept the kiss light and pretended for the moment she was mine to kiss.

When I pulled away I saw her eyes were closed and her tears were still falling. The bus pulled up and I led her to a seat where she wrapped herself around me, so I tightened my hold. We clung to each other as the bus drove into the dusty countryside.

I lowered my head so I could talk softly to her; it was easier when I didn't have to look at her face. "Bella, I never meant for this to happen and can't explain it, but I love you. You need to pack your stuff and leave when we get to the clinic, okay."

She nodded against my chest but she tightened her arms around me. I kissed her head and closed my eyes as I tried to savor the feeling of having her in my arms.

**BELLA**

I never tried to make him love me; I never thought it would be possible when we first met that we could actually be friends. Over the past few months we became comfortable with each other and I looked forward to our nightly talks over the radios.

I honestly felt he was merely worried about my safety and if I left for just a bit he would calm down and realize it wasn't love he was feeling. I felt his kisses on my head and my heart sped up. I would not admit my own feelings. I would concentrate on my vows and refuse to acknowledge my heart was not completely given to God.

We arrived back at the village and walked hand in hand to the clinic without speaking. We didn't have any supplies to put away and I walked to my room to pack. I finished with my closet when I noticed Edward standing in the doorway.

I tried to look away but my eyes were drawn to his. "I made us some food," he said without looking away.

"Okay, I'm almost done, I don't have much," I said and didn't know why I was explaining it to him.

He turned halfway and held onto the door frame for a moment and finally walked away. I followed a couple of moments later and sat across from him to eat. We both chewed in silence and the weight of the air seemed heavy around us.

"Will you stay in Africa?" he finally asked.

"I want to stay here, can't we work this out?" I begged as I let my head drop.

"Bella, look at me," he asked and my head rose slowly to look into his pained eyes. "I want to hold you and touch you so badly. I want what happened in the hotel to happen again, and not because we're scared but because we can't exist without touching one another. I want to make love to you at night and wake up in your arms."

I had closed my eyes and began shaking my head back and forth, hoping he would stop talking but he didn't. He continued on and I wanted to be able to love him how he wanted, but I had vowed to serve God.

A knocked sounded on the door and Lulu walked in. "Where were you, Edward?" she said with her thick accent.

"We ran into trouble in the city," he answered.

She made her way to the table and sat after laying her makeshift crutch against the wall. Her eyes wandered back and forth between me and Edward. "This place not good for you," she said. "Go to America and have babies."

"I love this place," I told her with a smile, "but I must leave tomorrow. I will miss you Lulu."

"Do you go, too?" she asked Edward and he only shook his head.

We all sat in silence as Lulu tried to figure out what was going on. Edward finally stood and left the room. I heard his bedroom door shut and I didn't see him for the remainder of the day.

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**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	6. Chapter 6

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 6

**EDWARD**

I was sinking into a deep depression, and no matter how tough I tried to act, my heart was breaking. I wished they had never sent me a nurse. I was fine by myself and used to handling any emergency that came my way. Maybe this was my punishment from God. I was sent a woman to love, but she belonged to him and I could never have her.

It was hard to look at Lulu now. She was a special girl, incredibly bright and full of life, but the truth was she would never marry, even if she lived long enough to be of age. She would be used as a slave or killed and I needed to separate myself from that pain right now.

I decided after Bella left I would tell Lulu she couldn't come here anymore. She would be hurt, but nothing like it would hurt me not to see her bright smile every day.

I felt like a caged animal, I paced back and forth for hours as I tried to come up with a plan to carry on. For the first time in almost a year I considered going home. I wondered if being on another continent would help ease the hurt, but Seattle was too close to Forks and I would always wonder if she was back.

I knew I would be tempted to call the Stanley girl for information and that was not a punishment I wanted to inflict on myself. I also had to admit I was afraid to face my family, I couldn't expect them to comfort me when I had treated them so despicably.

I heard Lulu leave and I stared at my bedroom door, wishing Bella would come to me. I heard the shower start and I walked to the adjoining wall and placed my cheek against it, listening to her move under the water. My hands were flat against the plaster and I fell like my room was a tomb. I was being buried alive and not even God would help me.

**BELLA**

I tried to sleep, but it was useless. I was laying in just a tank top and underwear, so I could dress quickly in the morning. I used just one sheet so he wouldn't be forced to clean up after I left. I finally got up to get a drink of water.

I walked as quietly as I could so I wouldn't wake him. I turned on the kitchen light and gasped when he raised his head from the table.

"I didn't know you were up," I said completely forgetting about my attire.

"I couldn't sleep," he said with a sad voice and I saw his eyes scan my body. I rushed to a chair and sat to hide myself.

"Edward, you only have to ask," I told him, hoping he would beg me to stay.

"Really, so if I ask you to kiss me, you will? If I ask you to come to my bed, you will? If I ask you to let me love you forever, you will?"

I looked away because I couldn't look at his face and answer him. "I would stay and be your nurse, if you asked." I felt a lone tear fall slowly down my cheek and quickly brushed it away.

"Bella," he called out in a whisper, "You know what I am asking for, don't make me beg, tell me no if you won't consider it."

My heart was beating wildly in my chest and I felt the word yes on the tip of my tongue. It would be so easy to say the word and fall into his arms. But I had done that once and hurt the man deeply, I made a commitment to my life and I had to be honorable and see it through. I stood and walked from the room as my mouth said, "No, Edward."

When the sun rose I dressed and carried my bag out the door as quietly as possible. I sat on the rickety bench in front of the bus stop and cried. When two rebel men showed up with guns I didn't even care. They could shoot me where I sat and it wouldn't hurt as much as walking out the door had.

I heard footsteps coming towards me and I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see the danger before it arrived. Someone sat next to me and I looked at the feet of the person. I knew those feet, as well as I knew his hands, and his face, and his kisses.

I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder as his arm came around me and pulled me close. "You weren't going to say goodbye?" he asked.

I didn't answer, because I couldn't.

"Will you tell Jessica I said hello?" he asked and it made me laugh.

"I'll tell her you miss her terribly and remember every word she said," I teased and he laughed. The slight jostling of his chest made me sigh.

"I'm going to miss you terribly," he admitted and I closed my eyes to stop his words from sinking into my brain.

"Will you tell me something honestly?" I asked.

"Of course."

"Do you really have a piercing?"

"Sister Mary Isabella, are you asking to see my dick?" he laughed loudly.

"You know I hate you, right?" I said and pulled out of his arms to sit up.

He picked up my hand and kissed it several times before placing it back on my own leg. I took a deep breath and my shaking became obvious. I heard the old bus chugging its way toward us and I finally turned to look at him.

"Thank you, for everything," I said as more tears formed.

"We could have been great together," he said with his own tears.

I nodded in agreement and stood to pick up my bag. Edward took it from my hand and placed it under the bus in the storage compartment. I climbed aboard and took my seat where I could see him clearly. He smiled and waved as the bus pulled away and I had to close my eyes again, so I wouldn't jump from the seat and out the door.

**EDWARD**

And as easily as she came, she left. I watched the bus drive into the distant and knew I was being watched, but I didn't care. Losing the woman you love was a universal experience men all over the world could relate to. I walked back to the clinic and stood outside the door. I didn't want to go inside, the memories and smells would hurt too much. So, I sat outside on the small rise of cement, in the baking sun.

I thought about my brother, who was always so happy. He never stressed over anything and could find the bright side of any situation. I wondered what he would say about Bella. He would unquestionably compare her to Tanya, who dressed in designer clothes and spent any free time away from patients at the gym. Tanya thought helping the world consisted of writing checks, and those really do help, but Bella gave her sweat and blood.

I used to listen to her pray at night and wondered how she could kneel on the hard cement floor for so long, but she never worried about her own discomfort. God was lucky to have Bella, and I would never get over my jealousy.

Lulu came down the road and headed right for me. "Doctor, you need to smile," she said as she stood with her dirty bare foot in front of me.

"I don't have any smiles left," I said, sounding as pathetic as I felt.

"She will be like my leg, she is gone but you will still feel her," Lulu said, tearing my heart a bit more.

I let my head fall back and I closed my eyes. It was just what I didn't want to hear. I wanted to forget all about Sister Mary Isabella. I couldn't imagine having to ache for her like Lulu's missing leg. She reached out with her wooden stick and poked me to gain my attention.

"What Lulu?" I asked without opening my eyes.

"No doctor was here to save my leg, you can save your love, no?"

"No," I said emphatically, "Go to school Lulu."

She laughed and I winced at the sound. I shouldn't be so mean to a child, but I really needed to wallow in my self pity for a bit. What I really wanted was a drink, but I never knew when a patient would arrive so this was a pain I was going to have to feel, with nothing to dull it.

"She'll be back," Lulu said as she walked away. I opened my eyes to watch her hobble on the stick and called out to her.

"Why did you say that?"

"You will be like my leg for her. Girls remember better," she said with her big toothed grin. I felt something stir in my soul and I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face. I saw Bella cry for me and she would feel the loss I would leave in her heart, unless her God found a way to fill it.

"What would I do without you, Lulu?" I called after her.

She waved her hand and continued making the trek to the small open aired school.

**BELLA**

I wanted to disappear. I had failed miserably as Dr. Cullen's nurse. I tempted him and gave in to my desires when confronted with temptation. I was a horrible nun and I hurt a very good man. I wanted to feel a different kind of pain. I wanted someone to slap me and make me forget about the aching in my heart.

When the bus arrived at the city I headed straight to the church. I let my bag fall in the aisle and I fell onto my knees in front of the statue of our Blessed Mother. I wanted to be like her, but I was too weak. I folded onto my knees and sobbed loudly.

Father Busara found me lying on the ground as he entered the vestibule. He helped me walk to the first pew and sat in front of me. "What is wrong, Sister?"

"I need to confess to my priest," I cried. "I have tempted a man and hurt his heart."

"I feel maybe your heart has been hurt, too," he said with a slight smile.

"I'm so confused," I said in a whisper, as if God couldn't hear my betrayal if I said it quietly.

"Serving God does not make one confused, maybe you are not meant to be a bride of Christ," he said to rip my chest wide open.

"Father, I want to be of service, I want to be his hands upon the earth, but I am too weak."

"Child, there are many ways to be of service. If you came to us to hide, God will shine a light upon you. Why did you come?" he asked me with a loving voice.

"I had so much, and others have nothing, I felt guilty," I said but knew it wasn't the total truth. He knew it too and simply waited for me to continue. "I didn't love the man I was to marry. He was good and worthy of love, but I wanted more. I am so selfish, father, that a good man's love wasn't enough."

"A good man will always find someone to love him, maybe he just wasn't the right man for you," he offered and I nodded in agreement. "I fear you have found the right man, at the wrong time."

"Yes," I said softly. "I'm not a novice trying to make the decision, I took my vows."

"When I chose the priesthood it filled my heart and soul. Nothing had ever made me so happy, and I would go to bed thankful I was a priest and wake up hoping God would give me one more day to continue being a priest. If you came to lessen the hurt a good man would feel because you left him, you don't belong here. It means you are a tender hearted woman, and God has need of those, too."

"I never doubted at the convent," I said and wondered if Edward wasn't just a test God was giving me.

"Of course not, it was new and your eyes were focused towards heaven. It is once you leave the walls that you know if it is for you, or not. You are a nurse; it doesn't mean everyone who goes to nursing school is meant to be a nurse. You have to treat patients before you know for sure," he explained and it made sense. I looked into his kind eyes and felt the love of Christ. I doubted anyone saw that when they looked into my eyes.

"He's not a man of faith, he ridicules God," I pointed out; sure it would change the opinion of Father Busara.

"Did the Shepherd not go after the one lost sheep?" he asked with a smile.

I laughed and leaned forward to add, "Edward's a pretty cute lamb."

He patted my cheek and said, "Then go catch him."

I thought the decision to get on the bus the following morning would be the hardest one of my life. But it was simple, I walked with my head held high and my stomach full of butterflies as I imagined running into Edward's open arms.

**EDWARD**

The night was long and I let Lulu's words play over and over in my head. I hoped Bella would miss me and come back to give us a chance. I tried not to make plans, but it gave my brain something to focus on. I would take her to Seattle to meet my family; surely her presence would soften the blow of walking out on them. We would find a new assignment where we were needed but in a safer environment, Uganda was too dangerous when you loved someone.

The following morning I walked into the dirt street to see rebel's everywhere. I knew today was going to be a difficult day and filled with many patients.

I walked back inside the clinic but left the door open. I worried about the children coming to school and hoped when they saw the soldiers they would go back home. I was checking my supplies when I heard a loud scream. I closed my eyes and hoped the soldier's weren't assaulting a woman.

"Doctor," I heard Lulu scream.

I dropped the things in my hands and ran out to see a large truck full of men in uniforms slowly moving down the street. Lulu was on the side of the road, being pulled by two men towards the truck. I ran to the middle of the street and yelled out, "Hapana, Tafadhali." Telling them, "No, please."

I heard a second scream come from behind the truck and two soldiers headed towards me. I looked around the empty street for anyone willing to help me save Lulu, but it was deserted. "Fight, Lulu," I screamed to her and then all the air left my lungs.

A soldier entered my line of sight pulling Bella by the hair as she screamed and kicked at him. I ran towards her ignoring the two men who raised their guns at me. "No," I screamed as they tossed her in the back of the truck with all the men. I felt a blow to my head and I fell into the dirt. Lulu's stick was thrown to the ground as she was pulled into the truck.

I tried to get back on my feet, but something hit me between the shoulders and I fell again. Bella was crying and reaching out for me as the truck drove further down the road. I began crawling and felt a foot plant in my back, crushing me to the road. I cried out in total agony as I watched Bella and Lulu disappear in a cloud of dust.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	7. Chapter 7

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 7

**BELLA**

I watched in horror as they beat Edward, unable to help him and heading to my own certain death. I grabbed Lulu from the arms of my captors and held her tightly to my chest. She looked up at me with a tear stained face and said, "You must die, Bella. You must run so they will shoot you. They will do bad things to you."

"God will help us," I told her but felt I was being punished for breaking my vows. I was being called home to stand guilty before my maker.

I looked around at the faces of the soldiers and realized many of them were simply young boys, around twelve years old. They held guns larger than their bodies should allow, and many wouldn't meet my gaze. Some of the older men laughed at Lulu, making fun of her one leg. I tightened my hold on her and moved into a corner of the truck bed.

"Edward will die for you," Lulu said and I shushed her harshly. I didn't want to hear those words and I didn't want to think about my last image of him.

I began praying with such fervor the noises around me faded into the background. The truck stopped two more times and more girls were added. They were all so young and I didn't understand why they wanted me. I would stick out and hopefully the embassy would look for me, maybe they hoped to trade me for weapons or money.

I grew nervous when the truck pulled off of a groomed road and into the jungle. Lulu looked at me and said, "We head north, the road will be to your south." It was in that moment I realize she did not plan to live through our ordeal. She couldn't run, but she wouldn't give in to becoming a sex slave. She would somehow force the men to kill her.

"Lulu, stay strong," I said against her ear. "I will save you; God will give me the strength to save you."

She shook her head back and forth and I said authoritatively, "Stop. Have faith, Lulu."

The truck came to a slow crawl and many of the boys began jumping from the back. When it came to a complete stop older men began grabbing the young girls to pull them from the truck. Someone reached for Lulu and I screamed at him, "No, don't touch her."

He ripped her from my arms and tossed her onto the ground as everyone laughed. I lunged at him beating on his chest before he easily pushed me away. I was left alone in the bed of the truck and again wondered why I was taken in the first place.

I scrambled down to join Lulu on the ground and helped her stand so she could lean on me to walk. We followed the other girls into a large tent and just before I entered Lulu was taken from me again and I was pushed to the ground and not allowed inside.

"Stay strong Lulu," I yelled to her. "I will save you, so stay strong."

**EDWARD**

I didn't fight them; I had no will to fight. I tucked into a ball and let them kick and punch at me as my soul slowly died. She came back, but God wouldn't let me have her, he was a jealous God after all.

I knew what would happen to her and I screamed out in anguish. I wanted her God to smite me dead, He was cruel to leave me alive. Lulu would be killed quickly, unable to keep up with the constant movement of the rebel camps. Bella would be kept alive until her will to live would be completely gone, and it was my fault.

I stumbled into the clinic and tried to treat my own wounds. I wouldn't be able to leave until the next day, when the slow bus would ramble into the city. I tried to come up with some way to save Bella and Lulu, but nothing sounded plausible. I would go home and demand my government take action, or maybe go to Rome and ask the Pope to save her.

I fell onto my bed and sobbed loudly as the realization I had lost her forever worked its way into my heart. She would be dead before the sun could rise the next day. Patients began to arrive, all telling the same story. Their girls were taken and the fathers beaten. I tried to show compassion, but every time I cleaned their wounds, it deepened my own.

I wanted my father, the man I had traveled halfway around the world to avoid, only realizing he was a better man than me. I needed him to care for my broken heart and help the people who needed me right now. I needed my mother to rock me like an infant and assure me of her love, although I didn't deserve it. My older brother, who was physically so strong, would be able to hold me together as my sister would fill her days trying to find happiness for me. I wanted my family for the first time in my life.

But my hands kept working, on reflex or some inner memory that didn't require my mind to be functioning. I stitched up cuts and cleaned out wounds, totally unaware of what I was doing. When night fell the people stopped coming, so I spent the time packing up my things. I didn't care about the medical supplies; I would be kind enough to leave them for the villagers to rummage through.

**BELLA**

I sat in the dirt of the jungle floor trying to find the courage to run. I was terrified I would be shot, but more terrified to leave Lulu alone. An older man, middle aged, but old compared to the age of most of the rebels, walked from another tent and motioned for me to come to him. My heart was beating wildly and I began to cry.

He called out angrily in Swahili and I rose to slowly walk to him. When I was within arm's reach he grabbed me harshly and threw me inside the tent. A table was in the middle of the enclosure and several older men sat around it.

I didn't move and let my eyes fall so I couldn't see their intentions. They were arguing among themselves and I let my hair fall to hide myself from their stares. Someone grabbed my arm and pushed me toward a cot. I looked down to see the same soldier Edward and I had tried to save in the city. He was flushed and sweating.

I rushed forward and checked his wounds. I needed someone to translate for me. I kept pointing to my mouth and saying, "American." I began asking for Lulu and had to do impressions of her to make them understand. A young boy was eventually sent for her.

When she hopped into the tent I held out my arms for her. I cried and held her tightly telling her I needed her to help me by talking to the men. She tensed and I promised her I had a plan, but I needed her help first.

I told her I needed clean water and I was handed a water bottle. I used the water to loosen the dried bandages and cleaned out the gunshot wound. I asked if they had a first aid kit and was handed a box with stolen medications. I used peroxide and antibiotic cream before adding new bandages. I told them he needed fluids for his fever and was brought bottles of juice.

When I finished nursing the man someone grabbed Lulu and I quickly stepped forward and pulled her back to me. I had her tell them I would not help the man any further if Lulu was taken from me. A gun was raised to my face, but I set my chin and stared the soldier right in the eyes until he lowered the gun.

Lulu and I moved to the corner of the tent and sat quietly. I was emotionally exhausted and when Lulu laid her head on my lap I ran my fingers through her hair until she fell asleep. I shut my eyes and was soon asleep myself.

**EDWARD**

I left the village the next day. My entire body was screaming in pain and I was covered in seeping cuts and bruises. I searched the jungle as the bus crawled down the dirt road for any signs of the truck that took my love away.

When I finally arrived into the city I went right to the hospital. I walked inside and demanded to see one of the rebel soldiers. I wasn't sure if one would still be there or if the government would even let them remain alive. I was taken to see a man who had lost a leg and it made me think of Lulu. I wanted to pull him out of the bed and cause him as much pain as possible, but I knew I needed information more than revenge.

I asked him to tell me where they took the women they kidnapped and what they would want with an American woman. He told me the rebels moved often and quickly so they couldn't be found. He assured me an American woman would be trouble and would be killed after servicing the leaders of the army. He was talking in specifics and I couldn't listen to him anymore. I walked away trying desperately not to get sick all over the hospital floor.

All my hope was gone. She was dead and I could do nothing about it. I took my duffle bag and waited for the bus going to Kampala. I was going home. I wanted to forget about Uganda, but knew it would remain the place where I found love and lost it to God.

I made the long bus ride and caught a flight to Germany. While waiting for my next leg of the trip I called my family. My hands were shaking and I hoped I could keep my composure. The phone rang three times, but felt like a hundred. My sister Alice answered.

"Cullen Residence," she said with her high voice.

"Allie," I said with a soft cry.

"Edward, is it you?" she gasped.

"I need…can I talk to dad," I said before leaning against the wall for support.

I could hear yelling and screaming throughout the house, and finally my father grabbed the phone.

"Edward," he said loudly, "Where are you?"

"I'm in Germany, I'm coming home, may I come home, dad?" I began to cry and put my fist in my mouth to bite down on.

"Absolutely," he said with concern. "Are you okay, son?"

"No, I'm not," I admitted.

"Is there anything we can do from here?" he asked.

"No, let me give you my flight information," I said and was able to calm down enough to give him all the times and numbers.

When I boarded my flight I put a blanket over my head and slept the entire way home.

**BELLA**

Over the next two days the man's fever began to rise. I needed ice, antibiotics, and aspirin to treat him properly. I told Lulu to tell the soldiers we had to take the man to the clinic. Edward would help him as he did in the city. I told her to tell them he would die if they didn't take him back to the village.

Suddenly there was talking and fighting going on around me. Men were pointing and yelling and when a consensus was formed the man was put inside the truck. I held on to Lulu tightly and refused to climb into the truck without her. As they stood discussing the situation I lifted her into the truck and climbed in myself. I pulled her to my side and sat against the cab of the truck. We began the dusty ride back to the village and my heart was pounding with hope that they would allow us to remain with Edward.

A couple of soldiers went into the village before the truck to make sure it was safe. We pulled up to the clinic and I kept Lulu in my arms as I opened the door and called out for Edward. The place was a mess and the exam tables were covered in blood.

I searched the house for Edward but everything was ransacked and most of the furniture was missing. It was going to be up to me to save the patient. I got ice packs to place under the man's arms to cool his core temperature and gave him some aspirin and a shot of antibiotic. I cleaned the wound again and flushed it with saline before putting on more ointment and clean bandages.

Within an hour his fever began coming down. He was finally coherent and able to talk to his men. I asked Lulu to inquire about the doctor. One of the soldiers who entered the village first was told the doctor was dead. I felt my body slide down the wall as my limbs went numb. Lulu covered her face with her hands and sobbed loudly.

I was tired and so hungry, but I no longer had the will to go on. I was going to refuse to return with the soldiers. They would have to shoot me right here in the clinic, but I wasn't afraid, I welcomed the peace death would bring.

I treated the man one more time and then handed him the aspirin bottle and told him to go. Lulu told the soldiers they could leave now and they simply walked away. One man looked at Lulu but I pulled her behind my body. The leader who I had treated said something to me and was then carried away.

"What did he say?" I asked Lulu.

"He say you are free, because you save him."

"Let's look for food," I said and helped her into the kitchen. I found a jar of peanut butter and some saltines. It tasted like a feast.

We finally made our way onto the street and Lulu asked some villagers about her family. She was told where they were buried and I spent the entire night holding her as she cried. The following morning we climbed aboard the bus and I traded my ring for our passage.

When we arrived at the city we headed straight for the church. I cried as I passed through the large wooden doors and when I saw Father Busara I ran right for his arms. He fed us, and clothed us, and gave us a soft bed to sleep in. I woke up and snuck out of the room so I wouldn't wake Lulu.

I found Father Busara in the kitchen and I joined him for a cup of coffee.

"I lost the sheep I wanted to save," I said with tears falling from my eyes.

"Maybe he was not meant for you to save," he said softly.

"I feel so lost, I don't have my love, and I don't even have my faith anymore," I admitted.

"You need to go home, child. Once you feel safe you will see how much faith remains."

"I'm not sure the order would even want me back," I said with shame.

"They would welcome you with open arms," he said and patted my hand.

"Is there anyway Lulu can come with me?" I asked.

"No, you would not be able to get her out of the country, but leave her with me. We will care for her and keep her safe."

I waited for her to wake up and tried to say goodbye. She was my last link to Edward and leaving her was like admitting he was truly dead. She took my face in her hands and said, "Ninakupenda."

"What does that mean?" I asked her.

"It is, I love you, in Swahili."

"Ninakupenda, Lulu," I said as my heart broke in two.

I spent the next few days at the embassy, getting documentation to go home. The Seattle Diocese paid for my ticket and I was soon on my way back home.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	8. Chapter 8

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 8

**EDWARD**

I walked out of the immigration area of the airport to see my entire family waiting for me. The invisible strings holding me up unraveled and I collapsed into their arms. My mother was crying and saying my name over and over and I wondered how to find the words to explain what had happened.

I was led to a bench and my father knelt in front of me to check the cuts and bruises on my face. "I'm fine," I lied.

"Emmett, get him some water," my father instructed and my soul rejoiced at the realization I would not have to worry about my own care for awhile.

I saw Alice crying and I reached out to take her hand. "I'm sorry," I said to her and she shook her head back and forth.

I smiled at Jasper and he came to sit next to me and put his arm around me. Emmett and Rose returned with a bottle of water and I drank it quickly. "Thanks," I said to them both.

"You look like shit," Rose said, always blunt and to the point.

"I feel like shit," I admitted.

I heard the sound of heels clicking and coming closer. Emmett stepped out of the way to reveal Tanya standing there staring at me. She was the last person I wanted to see and I let my eyes drop to the floor. My mother gave her a hug and everyone stood around in an uncomfortable silence.

"Dad, I need to go home," I said quietly and he nodded in understanding.

"We can meet back at the house, I'm getting Edward into the car," he said as he took my arm and pulled me up.

Emmett grabbed my duffle bag and we all headed to the parking garage. My mother offered me the front seat but I climbed into the back to lay down.

"Son, were you in Germany the whole time?" my father asked.

"No, I've been in Uganda," I said and it hurt to say the word.

My mother gasped loudly and covered her mouth with her hand. I felt my tears coming on again and covered my eyes with my arm. "Do you have some Demerol?" I asked my father. I wanted to forget so badly.

"I'll give you something to help you sleep," he assured me.

"Thanks," I said knowing how anxious they must be to hear from me.

When we arrived home I headed right upstairs and climbed in a hot shower. I sat on the floor against the tiled wall and cried. I cried for how badly I treated my family, I cried for the village I left without a doctor, but mostly I cried for Bella and Lulu.

When the water turned cold I got out of the shower and opened my bedroom door to find Emmett waiting for me. He tossed me a pair of pajama bottoms and winced at the sight of my chest and back.

"I brought a glass, say when," he said holding up a bottle of tequila. I reached for the whole bottle and said, "When."

I took a long drink, letting the burn send fresh tears into my eyes. After a couple of drinks I dropped onto my bed as Alice walked into the room. She climbed on my bed next to me and took hold of my hand.

"Edward, we don't care why you left and we don't care why you came back. We love you all the same," she said and I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed it.

"Can you tell me if I need to go after anyone?" Emmett asked, always my protector.

"No, I had a run in with a rebel army in Uganda," I said and watched them both looked at each other in amazement.

I took another long drink and Emmett stepped forward and took the bottle from my hand. "We're here when you're ready to talk," he said and I nodded.

They both left the room and the liquor took the edge off enough I was able to sleep.

**BELLA**

I tried to sleep on the flight, but my heart was hurting too badly. I tried to imagine what my life would be like now. I had no desire to return to the church, and could only hope it eventually would return. I was met at the airport by my parents.

I ran down to their waiting arms and we all cried together. The diocese filled them in on the kidnapping, but they didn't know about Edward. We made the long drive to Forks and I gave them the details, referring to Edward as the doctor but never using his name. I wasn't trying to hide my shame; it was too painful to talk about the man who won my heart, only to lose him with the realization.

When they asked about my inclusion to the order, and when I would return, I deflected the question. I told them I needed time to heal and feel safe. It eased their curiosity, for now. I went upstairs when we arrived home and took a bath. It was heaven to sit in the hot water. I looked around at all the shampoo and lotions, the makeup and perfumes, and felt sick at all the possessions we took for granted.

I was in my pajamas and lying in bed when my mother came into the room. She sat on the edge of my bed and spoke softly. "Bella, are you regretting your decision to leave Jake for the calling?"

"I don't know what I'm feeling, I am really confused right now and I need time to figure things out," I admitted.

"You can work at a hospital in America, you don't have to go so far away," she pointed out and I knew her heart was terrified I would leave my vows behind and embarrass the family.

"I know, mom, I just need some time."

"Jake called, he wants to come by tomorrow," she said as if I would refuse.

"Yeah, it will be nice to see an old friend," I smiled.

"Oh, Jessica is living in town again. She's teaching at the high school now," my mom said with a smile, feeling it would comfort me, instead I burst into tears. When my mother gasped and tried to pull me into her arms I snapped.

"Please mom, just leave me alone, I need time, please," I yelled. I rolled over in the bed away from her and sobbed as she quietly left the room.

**EDWARD **

I had been home a week and sinking deeper in despair. I found out the second morning I arrived what I had missed out on. I walked down the stairs to the smell of cinnamon rolls and saw a baby sitting in a high chair.

"This is your nephew," Rosalie said, "Say hello to Uncle Edward, Corbin."

I stared at the little boy with curly hair and deep dimples and felt like such a loser. I walked over to bend down and talk to the child. "Hello Corbin, how old are you?"

"He'll be seven months on Saturday," Rose informed me.

"I didn't know you were pregnant," I admitted to her.

She glared at me and I knew she was holding back what she wanted to say. I didn't wait for her to gain the courage and said it all for her. "I was an ass, Rose. I was selfish and hateful and didn't give a damn about anyone but myself. You have the comfort of knowing I got exactly what I deserved."

My father was walking into the room at that point and cleared his throat. "Son, make a plate of food and come to my office." I nodded and dreaded what was coming.

I took my time and walked in the room to find my mother waiting there, too. I sat on the black leather couch and took a bite of food before looking at them both.

"Start from the beginning," my dad advised and I nodded.

"I was so sick of everything here. I didn't love Tanya, I was living my life in Dad's shadow and I felt so stuck. I looked at various Peace Corp options and there was an opening for a small village in Uganda. I signed up and found myself studying Swahili day and night. I met a young girl named Lureluda. I called her Lulu. She lost her leg to a fallen tree crushing the nerves and she tutored me. I taught her English and she taught me Swahili. I was so happy, finally fulfilled and doing what I loved."

At this point my tears began to fall and my mother moved to hold my hand. "I was sent a nurse, a nun, and I stupidly fell in love with her. I sent her away, but she came back one morning when the rebels were in the village. They took her and Lulu, I tried to save them, but I couldn't."

"Are they dead?" my father asked and I simply nodded. My mother began to cry and I tried to comfort her, but I was too distraught.

My entire family was staying at my parents house until I was stable. They added just the comfort I needed. I stayed around the house the entire day and made up for the lack of food by eating everything I could get my hands on. By evening I was sitting in front of the television when Tanya walked into the room and sat next to me.

I took a deep breath and decided to get it over with. "I'm sorry, Tanya," I offered, "I would have been a sorry husband and you know it."

"I'm not angry at you, Edward. We've known each other for a long time. We are practically family and I am here just as support."

"How are you doing?" I asked her trying to seem interested in her life.

"Great, but I think the question is, how are you doing?"

"My family is making it very easy for me, I don't deserve it."

"Take all the time you need, we'll put you back together," she smiled and I felt a twinge of guilt for leaving her and then letting her comfort me.

My life remained this simple for the entire week.

**BELLA**

The next morning someone knocked on my bedroom door and walked in. I stared at Jake with guilt and wanted him to lash out at me so I could get what I deserved. He smiled and nodded for me to follow him.

"I don't want to get up Jake," I whined.

"I know, that is why you must get up. The longer you stay there the harder it will be to get up the next day. So up," he said as he pulled on my arm.

"Jake, please," I begged.

"I'm not giving up, so come on."

I finally stood and he handed me some tennis shoes and told me to dress for a walk. It took me half an hour but I finally came walking down the stairs and ready for a walk. We were almost half a mile from the house when he finally asked me what happened.

"I don't know, I went to Africa and thought I could do some good. There is nothing but pain there, and I don't understand how God can be so ignorant to their suffering."

"He can't be ignorant if he sent you. I'm sure you helped plenty of people," he said trying to make me feel better. It didn't work, I felt worse. I was sent there to help the people but I fell in love instead. I most likely doomed Edward to his death. He was the one doing good there.

"Jake, I'm not sure I can continue on as a nun. It will break my parent's hearts. Turning my back on my calling is worse than divorce. I will be shunned and my shame will be carried by my parents."

"You need to live your own truth, Bella, and not worry about what others think; as long as you know the truth, nothing else matters.

I stopped walking and looked back towards town. I had hated the smallness of Forks and wanted to see the world. Now I was uncomfortable walking from the town limits. I wanted to hide in Forks forever, and I knew it would be so easy to do with Jake. I would only have to apologize for leaving three years ago and beg him to give me another chance.

"You ready to head back?" he asked and I nodded after taking his arm. We walked back and I placed my head on his arm wishing I could turn back time and do everything differently.

**EDWARD**

My father set me up for some counseling sessions. I had been home for over a month but nothing was getting better. I sat in the stuffy office glancing around the room, when a scholarly looking man walked in. He introduced himself as Dr. Masen and leaned over to look directly at me.

"How are you, Dr. Cullen?"

"Please, call me Edward, I'm having a hard time dealing with some things," I admitted. "I guess you could say I am feeling a bit guilty, a bit angry, and I'm not sure I'll ever be happy again."

"Trauma is difficult to recover from, you lived through a horrible experience and survivors guilt is normal. Then you come back to a beautiful home, a loving family, and you feel sorry for those you left behind. Time does incredible things, Edward."

"Someone changed me, and I stopped thinking about myself, but I lost her and I don't know who I am anymore," I finally admitted.

"What changed in you?"

"I didn't need anyone, my family, my friends, even my faith. She brought them all back for me. I went to a church and I felt the need to pray. I haven't prayed since I was a child and when I knelt down I became so angry. I needed God, and I wanted to yell at him and accuse him of spitefully hurting me."

"Did it help to get angry and yell at him?"

"I couldn't do it, I still have more than I deserve, who am I to complain?"

"I want you to begin an exercise program, running, walking, biking, anything that can be done outdoors. And when you finish I want you to talk to God, as if he was standing right in front of you. Tell him what you're feeling and ask for what you need," Dr. Masen said and then watched me for a reaction.

I shook my head at the audacity of what he was suggesting. "Right, and in a month I'll be fit, meet some woman, and say, wow doc, look how everything has changed."

"Okay, start now, pretend I am God, what would you say?"

My heart twisted in my chest and I clenched my jaw, but he kept pushing. "I'm right here, Edward, what do you want?"

"Give her back," I mumbled.

"I can take whomever I want, I'm God," he said boldly.

"She chose, it was me," I said with tears.

"Maybe she wasn't free to choose," he pushed.

"She deserved to change her mind; she deserved to have what she wanted."My voice grew loud and I stood in rage. "Are you watching anything? Do you see everyone dying and being ravished? I paste them back together because you're not paying attention. Give her back, damn it, she chose me."

Dr. Masen jumped up to look me in the eyes, continuing on with what he was seeing as a breakthrough. "You want more?" He screamed at me. "I give you a smorgasbord of choices and it's not enough, you could have any…."

"I want her," I screamed at the top of my lungs and my heart was bleeding on the inside. "You took her because YOU were not enough."

"You got her killed," he said loudly. "Have you once told me thank you for everything in your life?"

"Prove you're a loving God and give her back, you'll have my devotion then," I yelled and then fell back onto the couch in tears. I was fighting with God, thinking I had the power to demand things from him. Even in my distraught state I could tell how ridiculous it was.

I took his advice and began running every day. At first I would cuss God as I ran, then began talking to him about Bella, asking Him to watch over my angel and make sure she was happy. I eventually began thanking Him for my time with her and came to a cordial acceptance.

I became resigned to my relationship with Tanya. I never told her I loved her, only truthful things, like, she was beautiful or kind. I knew what love was now and I was not in love with Tanya. She kept our apartment and I easily walked back into my life.

One Sunday I went to church, expecting to sit with my mother. I was stunned to see Emmett and Rosalie. They smiled at me and I held Corbin on my lap during the service.

I felt God rewarded my attendance by letting me see a documentary on television about missing women. It was in that moment I knew I had to let Bella go. I had to face her death and move on with my life. And I had to start by telling the Swan's what happened to their daughter.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	9. Chapter 9

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 9

**Bella**

I'm not sure how it happened. There wasn't a defining moment where I decided I didn't believe in God anymore. It happened slowly, over time, I stopped praying and I stopped hoping. I got a job at the Forks hospital and ignored all the stares and rude comments. People in a small town couldn't make me feel badly about myself. I had nothing left to believe in and their words couldn't penetrate the thick covering around my heart.

Jake was always there for me. He would glare at the people for me and reassure me I was the greatest person he knew. I didn't feel great, but being nice to Jake helped to ease the guilt I felt over Edward. I had considered looking up his family and letting them know what a wonderful son they had. But I was too chicken to look into their eyes and see the blame I already felt.

I wondered about Lulu often. I would look at the piles of crutches in the hospital supply room and become sickened at the sight. It wasn't right that she had to use a stick just to have hope of staying alive.

I got off work early one day and Jake was waiting for me. "Hey, want to go fishing this weekend?"

"No, I don't want to go fishing," I said and rolled my eyes.

"Well, I would do the fishing you would do the sunbathing," he said to ripen the offer.

"Where?" I asked.

"Sam's cabin, no sleeping bags or roughing it, just fresh fish to eat and cable television to watch."

I walked in front of him so he couldn't see my face. My mind traveled to the villages and I had to force myself to think of something different.

"Fine, I'll go," I relented.

"Great, go home and change and I'll pick you up in half an hour to help me shop for supplies," he said and got into his own car. I drove home and threw on some jeans and a t-shirt with an old pair of flip flops.

I didn't want to go fishing for a weekend, but it was all part of my separation from my life with God. I would go away, do something to show Him I was not his anymore. If I couldn't have Edward, I would spend time with other men.

Jake arrived twenty minutes later and I climbed into his truck. We drove to the local market and I could tell Jake was in deep thought about something. I finally stuck my foot under the cart to keep it from rolling. "What Jake?" I asked him.

"I'm wondering about this weekend," he said and I looked at him with confusion.

"If you don't want to go, it's okay with me," I told him.

"I want to go, I just want you to understand I want to go because you are going. I want to be there with you," he said to clarify.

I looked at him and nodded. I felt numb and tried to think it though. Jake was good to me, but I ran off the last time we were in a relationship. The man I wanted was dead, could I settle for a man I liked? I remembered taking a vow to forsake physical love from a man and quickly turned to Jake and smiled. "I have a feeling this will be a great weekend."

**EDWARD**

I drove into the small town with no idea where the Swan's live. I figured I could ask at the police station or call Jessica. I pulled into a gas station instead. A young man was working and I bought some gum and a bottle of water. When he rang up my total I asked where I could find the Swan's house.

He gave me instructions and I felt my hands begin to shake. I began to doubt I could go through with it. I got back in my car and Tanya reached out and took my hand. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, thank you for coming," I said and gave her hand a squeeze and moved mine back to the steering wheel.

I headed down the street and pulled up to a small house with a sign next to the door that said, Charlie and Renee Swan. I stared at the sign and knew I was about to bring so much pain to this couple. I closed my eyes and spoke silently, "God, help these good people understand. Bless them with comfort and heal their hearts."

"Are you praying?" Tanya asked in shock.

"I'm going to ruin their lives, yeah, I'm praying for them," I said without any embarrassment.

She looked at me like I had gone insane and quickly exited the car. I took a deep breath and got out myself. We walked together to the front door and my finger was shaking so badly I had a hard time with the small buzzer.

A woman who looked a bit like Bella answered.

"Mrs. Swan?"

"Yes."

"My name is Edward Cullen; I would like to speak to you and Mr. Swan about your daughter. I knew Sister Mary Isabella."

Her eyes turned very sad and she opened the door wide so we could enter. She led us to a small kitchen table where Mr. Swan was working on some papers. We all sat and I began with, "I want to tell you how sorry I am for what happened to your daughter."

"Thank you, we are still holding out hope she will return one day," Mr. Swan said.

"You know what happened in Uganda?" I asked in shock.

"Yes, the Seattle Diocese informed us of everything," Mrs. Swan told me. "We refuse to give up faith and hope her absence is not permanent."

I swallowed hard and knew I needed to dampen their hopes. I cleared my throat just as the back door opened. A large man walked in carrying overnight bags and Mrs. Swan quickly jumped up. "This is Jake; he was once engaged to our daughter."

I stood and looked at the man with such envy. She had run from him, but he got to love her for longer than I did. I extended my hand when someone else walked through the door and caught my eye.

All of the oxygen was sucked from my lungs. I stumbled back turning over my chair and crashing into the wall, knocking things from a decorative shelf. Bella dropped the sack she was carrying, sending cans of food rolling across the floor. She covered her mouth with her hands and fell onto her knees.

**BELLA**

I had tried so hard all weekend to convince Jake I could somehow learn to love him. I held him in my arms like I had so many times, and once I heard his steady breathing, I let my tears fall. I felt my insides becoming hollow and I stopped caring about things like integrity and commitment. I would let Jake believe in us, I would never believe in anything ever again.

We briefly discussed marriage. Jake wanted to take me far from Forks, away from my disappointed parents and away from the gossip. I wouldn't leave again. Jake would die if I tried to find happiness. I would stay and let religion take its vengeance on me.

We got home Sunday afternoon and a car was blocking the driveway. I didn't recognize it and began to fear it was someone from the Church. We parked on the side yard and began unpacking the truck. I grabbed a bag of canned food we didn't use and asked Jake to go in first.

I could hear my mother introducing Jake and I raised my chin in defiance and entered the house. I was not prepared for what I saw. Edward was standing and had his hand out to shake Jake's. I thought I had imagined the whole thing, that I was tired and most likely sleeping in the truck on our drive home from the lake.

When our eyes locked Edward gasped loudly and began moving backwards. He seemed terrified of me and I felt the bag drop from my numb hands. I couldn't remain standing, my muscles gave way and I fell onto my knees.

I had a flashback of the weekend, kissing Jake, letting him have me anyway he wanted and I felt instantly sick. I vaguely recalled a woman at the table, but my entire focus was on Edward.

**EDWARD **

The room was silent, nobody knew what was happening. I stared as if I was seeing a ghost. I felt my hand rise towards her. "He gave you back, he's proven himself," I mumbled.

"I was told you were dead," she said as tears fell from her eyes.

"No," I whispered. "Lulu?"

Bella began crawling on her knees to where I was sprawled against the wall. She came close and I began touching her face with my fingers, trying to awaken from the dream I was having.

"I saved her, I kept her with me, but I had to leave her with the priest. She couldn't leave the country," Bella explained.

"She's alive?" I asked to make sure again.

"Yes. Edward, I saw all the blood at the clinic," she said trying to understand how I was in her house.

"I had to help the villagers, and then I left."

"You were beaten, I saw them beat you," she cried as she began touching my face, too.

"How did you get away?" I asked in shock.

"They let me go; they took me to help their leader. He was the man you treated at the hospital, the one you wrapped the belt around."

"They let you go?" I repeated not believing what I was hearing.

"Yes, and I kept Lulu with me. Edward, why did you come here?" she asked with fresh tears.

"I came to tell your parents you were dead. They deserved to know what I had done to you," I confessed.

"You didn't do anything to me," she said.

"I thought I got you killed. Bella, you came back, why did you come back?" I asked. I pulled her into my arms and we both began to cry. I had my miracle, God gave her back to me and I would spend my life thanking him.

"Bella, what's going on?" Jake asked.

I suddenly remembered Tanya and felt my mouth go dry.

**BELLA**

I had him in my arms; I could feel his chest against mine and his tears as they fell against my neck. I had given up all hope and began to move on. I pulled away to speak to my parents. "This is the doctor I thought was killed. He's alive," I laughed and my mother covered her mouth.

"Let's sit in the living room," my father offered to get us off of the floor.

I felt Jake's hands around my waist and he helped me stand and then put his arms around me and led me to the other room. The blonde woman took Edward's hand in hers and held him tightly as they followed.

The living room and two couches separated by a coffee table. Jake and I sat on one side, Edward and the woman sat on the other as my parents sat in the chairs next to the fireplace. I looked at the woman and Edward finally introduced her. "This is Tanya," he said.

"I'm his fiancé," she added and I stared at her as only ringing sounded in my head.

"I don't understand," Edward said as he looked at my parents, "You said you hoped she would return."

My mother looked at both Edward and Jake with anger and explained, "Bella took vows to become a nun, and we hope she will honor that commitment."

Jake chuckled and shook his head. "We talked about marriage this weekend," he explained and Edward turned pale.

**EDWARD**

I was fighting the need to run. I wanted out of that room and I wanted to scream from frustration. I had to fix this; if Bella was alive I was not going to marry Tanya. I also knew she didn't love Jake, but would she leave him again?

I looked into her eyes and said, "I went to church, I also pray now."

Her eyes narrowed and she shrugged, "I've learned how silly that whole notion is. Of course my parents will have to live with the shame of my religious enlightenment. It seems I'm the disgrace of Forks."

I was shocked to hear her talk that way. I had found my faith while she lost hers. We both lived through the horrible events in Uganda and it changed us forever, just not in the same way.

"I learned from you," I said softly.

"I learned from you," she said back to me.

I had so many things to say to her but I couldn't do it with Jake and Tanya there. We sat silently, Tanya was holding on to my arm tightly and Jake had his arm wrapped around Bella's shoulder. Our eyes bore into each other's and I couldn't force them to look elsewhere.

I finally cleared my throat and said, "I would like to hear about what happened but I don't think we should do it in front of others. May I leave you my number and you can call me?"

"Why can't we hear?" Tanya asked in irritation.

"It is very traumatic and emotional, it will be uncomfortable for me," I explained and stood before she could object.

**BELLA**

He was leaving; he stood and headed toward the door after setting his number on the coffee table. I was screaming inside my head for him to come back. I stared at his retreating form and felt panic rise up in me. The door opened and he was gone. I jumped up and ran to the front porch. He was opening the door for Tanya and looked up at me.

"Call me," he said with emphatic eyes. I nodded and watched as he got in the car and drove away.

I sat on the top step and wrapped my arms around my knees. I heard someone come out of the house and I closed my eyes. I didn't want to look at Jake right now. But it wasn't Jake, it was my mother.

"Bella, he's alive, can you go back to the order now?" she asked with hope.

I turned to glare at her, "Go back, I'm never going back. I gave my life to God and look how messed up it is. Don't ask me about going back, ever!"

I ran to my room and fell onto my bed as I cried. Jake came up and sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed my back gently. It was meant to be soothing, but it hurt as if he was running knives across my skin. He put me back together when I was falling apart and I was going to break his heart once again.

"Jake, thank you for a great weekend, but I need to be alone right now. I have a lot of memories to work through and I'm going to be a mess for awhile," I said hoping he could read through my words to hear what I was really saying.

He stood and walked away without saying a word, I felt like the worst person alive.

**EDWARD**

Tanya was chattering next to me and I wondered how I would make the long drive without exploding and asking her to shut the hell up. I focused on the road and felt my whole body begin to shake when she said, "I can see her as a nun; she's got the homely, mousy, thing going for her."

"She's beautiful," I said with clenched teeth.

"I suppose in Uganda she would be considered beautiful," Tanya mused as she looked out the side window at the passing forest.

She was saying disparaging things about my miracle and I felt anger rising up inside of me. I held my tongue until she said, "Her man's cute, she's lucky to get a guy like that."

"Tanya, you're an intelligent woman, use your brain for once and shut up."

Her head snapped around to look at me and I could see pain and anger in her eyes. We remained silent for the rest of the drive.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	10. Chapter 10

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 10

**BELLA**

I finally unpacked my clothes from the trip and put them in the wash. My parents cooked the fish Jake brought them, but I remained up in my room. I waited for it to grow late and made sure Jake was gone and my parents were in bed before heading to my car to call Edward.

I sat in the darkness of my driveway feeling like a teenager when I would come home past curfew. I was trying to be very quiet although my body was shaking badly. I finally dialed the number and took a deep breath.

He answered on the second ring and I could hear his own voice shaking, "Bella?" he said.

"Yeah, it's me," was the only thing I could think of to say.

He choked up and caused my own tears to begin falling. "I can't believe you're alive," he said in a whisper.

"I should have known the blood wouldn't have been yours," I whispered back.

"Some of it was," he chuckled and the sound was like music.

We sat quietly and he finally said, "Bella, you came back…."

"You needed a nurse, Edward," I said bluntly refusing to admit I was coming back for him.

"I needed you," he said harshly.

"Well, that's all behind us now," I pointed out.

"You're kidding, right?" he said with an appalled voice.

"No, and I'm pretty sure the gorgeous blonde would agree."

"She means nothing," he said with rage.

"Did you tell her that when you fucking proposed," I yelled at him, wanting to show him how much I had truly changed and also wanting to lash out for replacing me in his heart for a bit.

"What are you doing, Bella?" he asked, speaking softly again.

"I called to tell you what happened. I nursed the man until his fever rose and then convinced them to take us to the clinic. I gave him aspirin and packed him in ice for the fever and they left. I took Lulu to the city and gave her to the priest. You're all caught up now," I said angrily.

**EDWARD**

I could hear the anger in her voice. She had changed, she was bitter and disillusioned. I knew what that had felt like for me and I wanted to show her love. I forced myself to forget about Jake right now and concentrate on helping Bella love herself again.

"Can you come to the city next weekend?" I asked her.

"For what?" she asked quickly.

"For me, can you come so we can talk face to face, just you and I."

She didn't answer and I was terrified she was going to hang up on me so I added, "I'll tell you the truth about the piercing, if you come."

She laughed loudly and it sent tears spilling from my eyes. My arms were aching from the pain of hearing her laugh and not being able to hug her tightly. I could picture it in my mind, the way her mouth would open and her head would fall back as her chest moved up and down.

"I wish you were just down the hallway," I said with a sigh.

"I wish I was, too," she said softly causing my heart to leap into my throat.

"I can be there in four hours," I offered and completely willing to make the drive just to hold her in my arms.

"No, I have Tuesday and Wednesday off, can I come then or will you be working?"

"I'll work it out, just come, okay?" I pleaded and felt relief when she agreed.

**BELLA**

I don't know how I ever thought I would be able to turn away from him. Just hearing his voice left me breathless. I tried to convince myself we were connected because we shared a traumatic experience, but I was wrong. I loved Edward, I just didn't know if he could love the person I was now.

My vows meant nothing to me and I didn't care if God loved me or not. It was only important for Edward to love me. He was my religion now and I would worship him the best way I could.

"I have some news for you," I said as my mouth formed into a smile.

"Good new?" he asked.

"Well, that depends," I giggled. "Jessica is living in Forks again."

"Oh, I see, I get it now," he laughed, making me laugh too. "The rebels released you because you are meaner than they are."

"I told her how you talked about her often, reminiscing about past conversations with her, dreaming of her in the shower…."

"It was you I thought about in the shower, and I apologize by the way," he said and I gasped loudly.

"You had erotic thoughts about a nun?"

"Often," he said without remorse and I laughed even harder.

"And I thought your attention to hygiene was because you were a physician," I teased him. I was trying to laugh it all off, but the thought of Edward imagining me in the shower left my heart racing and my body crying for him.

"My attention to hygiene was because I was a man," he corrected me.

"How long would it take you to get here?" I asked and was seriously considering meeting him halfway, but important matters, like needing my legs waxed and buying new underwear entered my mind. "I'm only kidding, I will be there in two days. Let me give you my email and you can send me directions."

**EDWARD**

Two days sounded like torture and as she gave me her email I felt my hands shaking again. I wanted to keep her on the phone for two solid days. I wanted to hear her every breath, and listen to her every word, until I could hold her. But I had patients tomorrow and she did, too.

"I'm counting the minutes," I told her truthfully and she sighed into the phone giving my body a definite reaction.

"I'll dream of you tonight," she said and I could hear her tears breaking through.

"I used to pray for you to show up in my dreams, now it just won't be enough," I admitted and knew how hard the next two nights would be.

"You don't need to pray ever again, I'm here now," she said and I felt a bit sick inside. I was reminded yet again, she was hurting badly.

"Goodnight, love."

"Ninakupenda," she responded and I gasped loudly. I could hear her light laughter for just a moment and the phone went dead.

I looked up at the clock on the wall to see it was close to midnight. I removed my jeans and stayed in my old bed, in my parent's house. I couldn't stomach the thought of returning to my apartment. I had two days to end everything with Tanya and bring Bella into my life and into my family.

I knew I had a hard day ahead of me tomorrow, but I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I heard my father up and could smell the coffee brewing, so I climbed out of bed and headed down stairs. My dad looked me in just my boxers and t-shirt and frowned. "Did you have a fight with Tanya?" he asked.

"No, but I will be ending our relationship today," I said as I poured a cup of coffee.

"What's going on?" he asked with the sound of disappointment.

"I went to Forks yesterday to tell the Swan's how their daughter died. It turned out she wasn't dead," I said with a huge smile and shook my head back and forth.

"The nun?" he asked.

"The ex-nun," I corrected.

"Can you be an ex-nun?" he asked with confusion.

I laughed loudly and pointed at him, "It isn't like losing your virginity, you can chose to practice or not. She chose not to continue."

"Out of guilt?" he asked and I knew where he was headed with the conversation so I had to fill him in on a few things.

"I sent her away, because I had fallen in love with her. She left and then decided she wanted me instead of her life as a nun. She chose before all this happened to us."

"Edward, I want you to really think about what you are doing. Tanya has been very good to you over the years," he tried to point out.

"I know, and I have been very rotten to her over the years. I've cheated on her numerous times and I'm only with her now because she had all my stuff. That isn't a relationship and I need to set things right. I walked back into my selfish life so easily, and I want the pattern to end. I feel strong enough to end it now that Bella is alive."

"I hope you know what you're doing son," he said with concern and headed off to get dressed.

Of course I knew what I was doing, I was making my life free for Bella and I to be together. God gave her back and I would treasure his gift.

I headed home to get dressed and when I opened the door Tanya was sitting there with red swollen eyes. She looked at me and said angrily, "You never came home."

"I stayed at my folks," I admitted and felt badly for not informing her I wouldn't return. But it was a great way to begin the difficult conversation we had coming. "I talked with Bella last night, she's coming on Tuesday. I'm sorry Tanya, but I love her."

"No," she said emphatically. "You are not doing this to me again. I will ruin you, Edward."

"You want me to stay, knowing I love another woman?" I asked her as gently as possible.

"You are always getting your head turned by other women. You won't stay with her, either."

"I've changed," I said and let my eyes drop knowing she would lash out at that declaration.

"Over night?" she laughed. "Or do you consider your mumblings to God your big prophetic change? You are still an ass, Edward. You are selfish, and cruel, and when you grow tired of this small town girl, you will be off to the next new thing."

"You can keep the apartment, but I want my things," I said to end the discussion.

"Your things?"

"My furniture, my art work, my office," I clarified.

"The only thing that belongs to you in this apartment is my heart. I paid off your debts when you ran off to play George of the Jungle."

"Tell me what I owe you," I offered.

"You owe me a ring, you owe me a wedding, you owe me your fucking future, Edward Cullen," she screamed loudly.

"If I am so horrible, why would you want me to stay?" I asked her feeling the weight of her words.

"Because no matter how big of a jerk you are, I love you, Edward. I love you with all my heart and if you will just give me a chance and commit to me, I know I could make you happy," she begged. "Don't destroy this girl with your games of catch and release. Stay for once and let me love you."

**BELLA**

As the night wore on I became more and more excited to see Edward. I wanted to tell him how much I had cried over his supposed death. I wanted him to know how hard I fought to keep Lulu alive, for him. I wanted most of all, to feel his kisses and give in to my desire for him.

I spent the entire morning getting my nails done, my legs waxed and purchasing a new outfit complete with matching panties. The sales woman gave me a disgusted huff and I simply said, "Relax, your husband won't be seeing them."

I went to work with a whole new attitude. I was kinder to the patients and more tolerant of the doctors. The hours which usually dragged slowly, flew by with anticipation. When I left work at ten that night Jake was waiting for me.

"I have my car," I pointed out.

"I know, I wanted to bring you flowers," he said and kissed my cheek as he held out a bouquet of roses.

"What are these for?" I asked him cautiously.

"I wanted to say thank you for the great weekend," he said to remind me I had been intimate with him again.

I took a step back, so I would be out of his arms and shook my head. "Jake, I know we talked about marriage, but things are different now."

"One day made everything different?" he asked angrily.

"Yes, he's alive, that makes all the difference in the world," I pointed out.

"I loved you when this entire town turned on you. I loved you after you ran off and broke my heart. And when I loved you this weekend you loved me back, I could feel it," he said with such pain in his eyes it pushed me into tears.

I cried with such an ache in my body. Jake was such a good man, but I wanted Edward. I wanted to run away again, pack my stuff and go to Seattle where I could hide with Edward. But I was older now and realized maybe running was all I was capable of. I ran from Jake and then from God, could I really stay with Edward? I was so confused.

"Thank you for the flowers, Jake," I said and leaned in to kiss him. He pulled me into his arms and I felt consumed by his large frame.

I climbed in my car and kissed him one more time. "Goodnight," I said softly and he winked at me.

I drove home feeling like I wanted to vomit. I saw the lights were on at Jessica's place and pulled into her driveway. I saw her peek out the curtains and opened my car door so the light would show her it was only me.

She opened the door with a big smile and pulled me into her house. "I can't believe you finally showed up here. I thought you were trying to ignore me or something."

"You could have come by my place," I pointed out.

"No way, I don't want people talking about me," she laughed and made me laugh too. We sat on her couch and I listened for thirty minutes about her life when she finally asked me about mine.

"Jess, do you remember the hair guy from college?" I asked her and she rolled her eyes.

"Best lay ever," she teased but it made me cringe.

"What was he really like? Looking back years later, if you had to assess his character what would you say?

"Okay, he was hot, he was knowledgeable, so that means he got around…a lot. He was a bit of a thrill seeker, probably into new things all the time. Oh yeah, and totally incapable of a committed relationship. He had a girlfriend when I was seeing him," she admitted.

"Really, are you sure?"

"Yeah, some rich bitch studying to be a doctor."

"Tanya?" I asked with a soft voice.

"Yeah, that was it, why?"

"If I had a choice between Edward and Jake, who should I pick?" I asked outright knowing Jessica would speak the absolute truth about both men.

"I've never had sex with Jake, so I can't compare there, but for a relationship I would say Jake, just because he is trustworthy. Edward would cheat on you often. Maybe you could marry Jake and just date Edward," she laughed and I wanted to slap her.

I turned the conversation back to her and spend twenty minutes more at her house until I pointed out the time and let her get to bed. I left her house wondering if going to Seattle was the best thing to do or not. I looked at the flowers on the floor of my car and began to cry.

**EDWARD**

I never sent my directions to her e-mail address.

**BELLA**

I never opened my e-mail to see if he sent directions.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	11. Chapter 11

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 11

**EDWARD**

I became lost in my work and Tanya became lost in wedding plans. I tried to be mature about the whole thing, pointing out I would end up hurting Bella in the long run and Jake would be a better solution for her.

I had Japer and Emmett over to watch a game one Sunday and they finally brought it up to me.

"I can't believe you and Tanya are actually getting married," Emmett said as he handed me another beer.

"She's been good to me," I said and continued staring at the television.

"Do you love her?" Jasper asked me.

I only shrugged and took a long sip of my beer.

"Hey, dickless, I asked you a question," Jasper said loudly.

"Yes, I love her, as much as I am capable of love," I spit at him.

"You think you are incapable of love?" Emmett asked me with worried eyes.

"Come on, Emmett, you know my reputation. I've never been loyal and I'm going to change it."

"Maybe you were never loyal because you haven't found the right woman. Hell, I cheated all the time until I found Rosalie," he said with a big laughed.

"You don't cheat on Rose because she would castrate you," I pointed out.

"Yeah, that too, but I love her, and the thought of losing her makes me feel like I took a punch in the gut. Does Tanya make you feel that way?"

Instead of answering I looked at the ground. I knew I didn't love Tanya, and agreed to marry her just to stop myself from hurting Bella. I didn't know if I could be loyal, and my fear of hurting her drove me away. Jasper kicked my foot with his and I looked up at him.

"If I spent my life with someone other than Alice, I would have to shut down all of my emotions just to make it through each day, is that what you are doing, Edward?" he asked me in a soft voice that was Jasper's style.

"Name one bad thing about Tanya," I challenged them.

"She doesn't have to be bad for you not be in love with her. Tanya is bright and beautiful, and we all love her like family, but if you are not passionate about her, the marriage won't last. It would be better to hurt her now, than hurt her more, later," Jasper said as he stared at my face.

I took a drink of my beer and looked back at the television. I already lost the one love of my life. I willingly let another man have her just to spare her pain. I had not committed to one thing in my entire life and I was determined to make Tanya happy if it killed me.

I knew someone called my mother, either Emmett, or Alice after speaking to Jasper. At ten-thirty that very night she called my cell phone.

"Hi mom," I said as I left the room. Tanya rolled over and didn't seem concerned about a late night call.

"Edward, can I have lunch with you tomorrow?" she asked.

"Who called and what did they say to worry you?" I asked with an exasperated sigh.

"I can't have lunch with my baby?" she asked and I felt the sting of her words. I was trying desperately to no longer be a baby, but nobody was taking me seriously.

"I don't know, will Rose let you take Corbin to lunch?" I said sarcastically.

"Oh dear," she said quickly, "It's worse than I thought."

"What is?"

"Meet me at the wharf, we'll get some fish and talk while we take a walk," she suggested.

"Fine, around noon?" I asked.

"Goodnight son," she offered and I simply hung up. I was tempted to call Emmett and Jasper and give them hell for upsetting my mother. But I decided I could prove my maturity more successfully by showing up the next day and convincing her of my decision.

I got back in bed and Tanya snuggled up next to me and kissed my chest a couple of times. I felt numb, but I forced myself to respond and ignored the fact that when I closed my eyes it was Bella body I imagined.

I showed up the next day, dressed in slacks, and dress shirt, and tie. My mother smiled as I walked towards her and whispered in my ear as I hugged her, "You are so handsome, son."

"Thank you, now are you going to start ripping me?" I laughed.

"I didn't bring you here to yell at you," she pointed out, but I somehow doubted it.

I held out my arm for her and she took it with a smile. We walked toward as small wooded shack and purchased some fish and chips and began strolling down the wide walkway, as the seagulls complained loudly.

"How are the wedding plans coming along?" she asked.

"You need to speak to Tanya about that, I'm just told when to show up."

"When I met your father, I had my wedding all planned. I spent years coming up with the perfect wedding, and all I needed was the groom. He was in medical school and time was very limited. My summer wedding turned into a Christmas break wedding and my pastel colors became deep red and gold."

"And the wedding doesn't matter if you have the right person by your side, was that the moral of the story?" I asked as I glanced sideways at her.

"Not at all, I'm still pissed about it," she said and we both laughed loudly.

I truly loved my mother. She was beautiful and graceful and such a wonderful mom. She didn't deserve the womanizing, disrespectful sons she ended up with. A rush of memories filled me and I wanted to apologize for so many things.

"Mom, remember when the netting off your ball gown went missing, right before the hospital gala?"

"Yes," she said hesitantly.

"Emmett and I needed some packing for our rocket. It had to be light weight and burn quickly. We used the netting and it flew so high we lost the rocket, so we actually punished ourselves," I added to soften her anger.

"Alice told me," she laughed and I looked at her in shock.

"Come to think of it, Alice suggested we use the netting," I said thinking back.

"She hated the dress. It was her way of forcing me into another one. She actually cut the dress up and made her own prom gown out of it," my mother admitted.

"I've carried that guilt for nothing?" I asked.

"It seems to be a habit of yours," she said and continued walking when I stopped.

I watched her for a few moments and then jogged to catch up. "Clever," I said and she only smiled at me.

"Edward, do you really think I am unaware of the things my children do? I know Emmett cheated on his finals to remain on the football team. I was the one who suggested the school force him to take summer school. I knew Alice began sleeping with Jasper and I was the one who took her to the doctor and got her on birth control. I also knew about your reputation in college, and I knew one day your heart would find love and you would learn sex is empty without it."

"My guilt is a lot deeper than childhood antics and a massive sexual appetite," I said and she laughed at me.

"Massive, oh please, your generation did not invent sex."

"Mother, are you admitting to being a lose woman in school?"

"There are many women who owe me for training their husbands how to effectively stimulate breasts," she said and I looked at her in shock.

I looked up at the sky and pleaded, "God, strike me deaf, please."

She laughed and nudged me with her shoulder. "That's another thing, why don't you come to church anymore?"

All the joking left me and I felt my mouth turn dry. We walked in silence for a moment and I finally said, "He gave me a gift, and I turned it down."

"Who?"

"God, I begged him to return her to me, he did and I just…." My tears began falling down my face and she stopped to wipe them with her napkin.

"Did you tell him why you turned it down?" she asked softly and I only shook my head back and forth.

"Will you tell me?"

I thought really hard about exactly why I let Tanya talk me into staying and finally whispered, "Fear, I was so afraid of hurting her, or losing her, or disappointing her. God let her down, there was no way I could make her happy if he couldn't."

She nodded and then took my arm to begin walking again. "When Emmett was three he was watching cartoons with a sucker in his mouth. I was working on some sewing and I felt him kick me with his foot. I quickly told him to stop kicking mommy, but he continued. I finally turned to yell at him and saw he was choking on the sucker. The round end was lodged in his throat and I began doing the Heimlich. It seemed like it took forever to get it out of his throat and I was terrified to let him have anything dangerous to eat. I hovered over him, and would only feed him if Carlisle was around so he could save him."

"He still eats like a pig," I said and she laughed.

"And he has choked several more times," she added. "Of course you will disappoint this girl, and of course you will hurt her, you are human, Edward. But when you love someone you try your hardest not to cause them pain, and they forgive you when it happens."

"I'm trying not to cause Tanya pain," I said as I looked out at the expansive Peugeot Sound.

"I have another story," she said and I laughed. "Alice is a bit hyper…"

"A bit?"

"Well, very hyper, and I decided to take her off of all sugar. I thought I was doing the best thing for her and she would cry, but I would comfort myself by saying I was being a responsible mother. I actually took her away on vacation one year so she couldn't go trick or treating. Anyway, I took her in for a check up and my pediatrician yelled at me. He told me Alice was a very active child and sugar was a necessary energy source for children. He said candy was different from natural sugars and there was nothing wrong with nutritious treats. I thought I was helping her, but I wasn't."

I felt more tears fall and I let my head drop as I admitted something to my mother, "When I make love to her, I imagine Bella in my head."

"There is a man out there who would love her without imagining another woman," she said to plunge the knife in more.

"I feel so incompetent, mother. I have nothing. If I leave Tanya I have to move home. The only possession I have is a leased car. I ran off and left Tanya with my debts, and she willingly paid them," I said with a disgusted tone.

"Son, let me put that to rest right this moment. Your father paid your debts, not Tanya."

I stared at her with shock; I wasn't sure which was worse; the girl I walked out on paying my way or my father, who I constantly disappointed. I felt sick and had to walk to a bench and sit down. I put my head in my hands and thought about Lulu. She was held back in every way, but she learned English, she walked with a stick to make up for her leg, and she strengthened my soul while I was there.

"I want to pay you back," I offered and she put her arm around me.

"Edward, we are so proud of you. You went to Uganda; do you have any idea who much we admire you?"

"I ran away to hide," I said with contempt for myself.

"The world is a big place. You could have hidden anywhere, on some romantic Island, in some exciting city, but you went to Uganda, Edward, lighten up on yourself."

I tuned my head to look at my mother and she smiled at me. I tried to picture Tanya having a conversation with our son years from now, and I couldn't even imagine it. I took a deep breath and asked for some advice.

"What do you think I should do?"

"I think you need to stop worrying about disappointing us. You can come home anytime, your room will always be there for you, just as Emmett's and Alice's are. You need to make God and ally and not your nemesis. And then you need to decide if Tanya is the woman you want to spend your life with."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "One last thing," she said and I glanced at her. "On Saturday night I'm having a family dinner, a surprise for your father. I would like it to just be immediate family, not even Jasper and Rosalie will be there. Will you come?"

"Sure, what's it for?"

"You'll find out on Saturday," she said with a coy smile.

"Oh God, you're not pregnant are you?" I said with a laugh.

She smacked my arm and stood to walk me back to my car. I hugged her tightly and whispered, "I have the best mother in the world."

"You and Emmett owe me a ball gown," she said back with a gentle laugh.

"I love you," I said earnestly.

"I love you, too, son."

I watched her walk to her car and yelled, "Mom, where Saturday night and what time?"

"Sky City, eight o'clock," she called back to me.

"The space needle?" I asked with a laugh and she nodded before climbing into her car and driving away.

I made one more stop before heading back to the city clinic where I worked. I walked into a church, not even sure of the denomination. I was met by an elderly man in a suit. "May I help you?" he asked.

"I need to have a chat with God," I said and he smiled as he stepped aside and let me enter the chapel area.

I looked at the beautiful stained glass windows and finally closed my eyes and smiled, "Truce," I whispered, "You win; I'll put all my trust in you. I'm weak and selfish and I desire to finally do the right thing. Lead my footsteps, guide my decisions, and help me be a better man."

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	12. Chapter 12

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 12

**BELLA**

I placed the final nail in the coffin of my life as a nun, by moving in with Jake. The entire town loved him, so it softened their opinions of me just a bit. My parents were heart broken and hoped a huge wedding would give them a bit of dignity back. My mother was doing all the planning and I came up with all the excuses.

I worked extra hours and encouraged Jake to hang out with his friends as much as possible. I was shocked one day at work when I got a call over the intercom. I answered the phone to hear the soft voice of a woman.

"Bella, my name is Esme Cullen, I'm Edward's mother."

My hand began to shake and I couldn't think of a single word to use in response. I remained quiet as my mind began to imagine all kinds of things. I wondered if he was ill or hurt, or if she wanted to yell at me for getting her son beaten, both physically and emotionally. I also wondered how she found me.

"Honey, I'm in Forks for the day, may I take you to dinner?"

"Um… yeah, okay," I said softly.

"Is there someplace you can recommend?" she asked and all I could think of was the Elks lodge. She told me she would find the address and I planned to meet her at five o'clock when I got off work. I worried the remainder of the day and borrowed some make up from a fellow nurse to look presentable when I arrive.

She was already seated when I was shown to the table. She was stunning, tall and thin, like Edward. I could feel my face redden as she shook my hand. I reached for the water and took a long drink to wet my dry mouth.

"I am so pleased to finally meet you, and we were all thrilled to hear you made it out alive," she said with genuine sentiment.

"Thank you, it was a relief for me to know Edward was alive. He was an incredible doctor," I said and hoped she didn't hear my voice shaking.

"He doubts himself so easily," she said and I let my eyes drop to the table. "I can't imagine the terror you went through, being kidnapped and everything. You must be a very strong young woman."

"Not at all," I assured her.

"It is so hard for people who have never gone through traumatic events to understand, you and Edward share a unique bond," she said and took my hand with hers. "I'm not judging you dear."

I felt tears fall and I was embarrassed to cry in front of her. I quickly wiped my tears and was shocked to see her do the same.

"How is Edward?" I finally asked.

"Oh," she said and took a deep breath, "Screwing up as always."

I laughed and she followed along with me. "I love my son, but he is a pro at snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory."

I laughed even harder and said softly, "I can't be too hard on him, he saved me many times."

"I'm glad to hear. Are you the one I have to thank for his return to church?"

"No," I said quickly, "That's all him."

"He didn't understand church was not for perfect people, it's for the weak, to gain strength and find the courage to try again the next week. Edward will never be perfect," she said but not trying to joke.

"There's a child in Africa who would beg to differ," I told her.

"A child, of course," she said with a roll of her eyes and I laughed again.

"I can't blame my children for their stupidity, they get it from me," she admitted, "I married right out of high school to a very abusive man. My parents got it annulled, but I was sure I could change him and grow to love him. I was a stupid, stupid, girl."

"Maybe you should have just tried to accept him," I said to make myself feel better.

"I would have missed out on Carlisle if I did. I don't mean to brag, but I have the most amazing husband in the world," she said sincerely.

"Yes, with a rather large shadow I hear," I said and took another drink of my water. The waitress appeared and we both ordered a salad and a drink. I was afraid I had offended Esme but she smiled as if she understood what I was saying.

"Edward is the youngest and feels the need to prove himself. Going to Uganda was just so Edward, but don't tell him that," she laughed and I wanted to point out I never spoke to Edward, but I only nodded and smiled.

"Emmett was my athlete," she continued on, "and Alice was our energetic child. Edward was the sensitive child wanting to save the world."

She waved her hand in the air and I wanted to point out what a playboy her sensitive child was, but she was so kind, I couldn't lash out at her.

"Emmett and Alice are married, right?" I asked for the lack of something better to say.

"Yes, both perfectly matched to their spouses. Emmett's wife Rosalie can tame him with one look, and Jasper, well, he is a Saint to deal with Alice," she chuckled.

"I met Tanya, she's very beautiful," I said and felt my chest tighten.

She gave me a halfhearted smile and nodded just slightly. I suddenly realized Esme was not considering Tanya to be perfectly matched with Edward.

"I didn't really talk with her, just saw her briefly," I admitted.

"We've known Tanya's family for years. I guess you could say tenacity is her strong suit."

"Tenacity?" I asked wondering why she would use such a word for the woman.

She leaned in as if telling me a secret and said, "It's either tenacity or her manicure hides her claws." She held her hands out as if pretending to be an animal with sharp nails.

I laughed loudly and quickly looked around to see if I was drawing attention to our table. Nobody seemed to care and I felt it was due to my association with Jake. I was finally tolerated as the shameful woman who needed sex more than God.

We sat quietly for a moment and I decided to clarify something she had said, "Why was it 'so Edward' to go to Uganda, because of his sensitive nature?"

"Partly, Edward does everything big. He could have gone to some inner cities, but no, he goes to Uganda. He doesn't come home after a year and fill us in, he shows up beaten to a pulp and harboring a broken heart."

"And he doesn't pierce his ears or his lip…."

She let her head fall back in laughter and said, "Exactly, what man has to nerve to pierce his penis? I'm sure he did it for all the ladies who walked in and out of his life. I'm just happy that phase is over, Emmett went through it, too, until he met Rose."

I was so conflicted. I wanted to dial his number on my phone and yell, 'I don't need you to tell me shit, and your mother just gave me the answer to the piercing question.' But I also noticed how she said his phase was over and her other son had gone through it, too.

"I have a friend who dated Edward in college. I guess he was still with Tanya at the time," I said and hoped I didn't hurt her by the news.

"See, tenacity," she said and raised her glass to her lips.

I nodded and smiled. She sat her glass down and looked at me. "Edward was a spoiled rich kid and I am sure he has done plenty of things to be ashamed of, but I am so lucky he has grown into the kind, gentle, loving man he is today. He is still dating Tanya to make up for his roguish behavior, and it breaks my heart to see him give up on love just out of a sense of duty."

I stared at my hands and said softly, "Sometimes a sense of duty is the decent thing to do."

"For whom?" she asked bluntly.

I shrugged and refused to meet her gaze. "Edward actually told me he imagines another woman in his mind when he touches Tanya."

I closed my eyes and felt sick to my stomach. I did the exact same thing. I had never given up Edward because every time Jake touched me, I pretended it was him.

"Tanya is a beautiful woman; I don't know why Edward thinks he must be so self-sacrificing. There are plenty of men who would cherish her and she deserves to find one of them. I love my son, but he is not that special," she said as she shook her head.

I finally raised my head and said in just a whisper, "Yes, he is."

"What dear?" she asked and leaned closer.

"He is special, Edward is…amazing."

She smiled at me and said, "And not coming from a child in Africa."

The waterworks turned on and I felt humiliated to bawl like a baby in front of her. She tried her best to comfort me and kept apologizing for making me so emotional. I had no idea how to explain what I was feeling. You can't tell someone you loved their son so much you gave up God, only to give up on them both.

I never thought about another woman cherishing Jake, I only knew he was good and didn't deserve to be hurt. I was condemning him to a lifetime of pain if I went through with the marriage. I excused myself and went to the restroom to calm down and wash off the ruined, borrowed makeup.

When I returned Esme reached out and took my hand. "I'm sorry, Bella. It was not my intention to cause you pain. Can I ask you a couple of questions?"

"Sure," I said, feeling so raw I couldn't deny her anything.

"Why did you leave the church?"

"I made a vow to God, and I broke it. How can any man trust me if God can't?" I shook my head in disgust with myself.

"Honey, you changed one focus for another, both righteous choices. God needs women who desire to be good wives and good mothers," she said and I felt even worse. I agreed to marry Jake but never desired to be a good wife.

"I can tell you every relationship has struggles. When Carlisle was a resident, he was never home and I felt rejected. I grew angry and bitter and we finally apologized to each other. A lot can be fixed with a sincere apology. Edward was so angry when he left home, but he came back and apologized, we don't hold the past against him. These are qualities taught by God, surely He practices them, too."

I sat quietly and she squeezed my hand, "Tell him you are sorry and let him back into your heart."

"Who?" I asked not sure if she was talking about God or Edward.

"Both," she said and winked at me.

"Okay, one more question. I am having a party for my daughter and I would love for you to meet her. She could use a friend and I think you could, too."

"What kind of party?" I asked.

"Oh nothing big, just a dinner out with the girls. She loves the restaurant at the Space Needle, Sky City. Can you make it Saturday around eight? I'll get you a room so you can spend the night in the city."

"I would feel a bit awkward," I admitted and she quickly dismissed me.

"Tanya won't be there, and you deserve to get away. It is my way of apologizing to you for making you so upset, please say you'll come."

I finally nodded and she smiled as she clapped her hands together. "Perfect, we're going to dress up, feel like sexy single women again," she said with a wink and I laughed. "If you need any help with a dress my daughter loves playing dress up with real people."

"I think I can handle it," I said and already knew which dress I was going to borrow from Jessica.

When I walked her to the car I felt a new sense of pride welling up inside of me. I was so tired of the depression I was stuck in and felt this was just what I needed. She gave me a hug goodbye and said she would see me Saturday night.

I watched her drive away and the large cross on top of the church caught my eye. I drove to the parking lot and forced my shaking legs inside the door. I saw Father Mark and he nodded toward the confessional. I smiled and nodded my head. I would apologize to God, and start by confessing my sins.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	13. Chapter 13

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 13

**EDWARD**

I was nervous when I arrived home that night. I knew I was doing the right thing and eventually Tanya would thank me, but it would be painful for now. I packed up my clothes and set my bags by the door. She walked in and saw me sitting at the table and then noticed the bags. Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms.

"What do you think you're doing, Edward?"

"I'm doing the right thing for once. I'm leaving so a man who deserves you can take my place," I said and watched her head shake back and forth. "I'm sorry, Tanya, I tried, I really did try. But you don't deserve a man who tries to love you; you deserve a man who cherishes every moment with you."

"Who did you meet?" she demanded. "Some nurse, or some addict you feel you need to save?"

"That's not me anymore. I don't expect you to understand," I said sincerely.

"Whatever it is, get over it," she demanded.

I stared at her in wonder, trying to decipher exactly when our relationship turned into her threats and my deceit. It was a very unhealthy pattern and we both needed out of it. I stood and picked up my suitcases. "I'm going home, if you need to reach me."

"This is your home; don't dump your problems on your parents. They raised you better than that," she demanded and only yesterday it would have been enough to make me drop the bag.

"I'm always welcome to come back home, my parents love me and they are proud of me," I said and walked out the door.

She ran after me and tried to get me to come inside and talk it over. We had spent too many years trying to work out our relationship. I honestly didn't think she loved me; it was just comfortable for her to convince me to stay.

I put my bags in the trunk and then pulled her into a tight hug. "I am so sorry for all the pain I have caused you. Find someone who deserves your love, and be happy, Tanya."

"I don't know how to be without you," she cried.

"Sure you do, you've done it for years," I admitted and she finally nodded in agreement, knowing I had been gone emotionally from the beginning.

I got in my car and drove away, feeling like a new man.

**BELLA**

I drove up to the house to see Jake and a couple of his buddies talking on the front porch. I waved and headed through the back door. I looked around at the house that was supposed to be ours, but nothing of me existed there. It was all Jake's, even the limited amount of decorating was done by him.

I headed to our room and began packing my clothes. It was dark by the time Jake came inside and walked back down the hallway to find me packing up my toiletries.

"What's up?" he asked cheerfully.

"I talked to Father Mike," I said and noticed how he tensed. "I confessed and told him I would not be returning to the order."

"Good," he said and kept watching me.

"I'm leaving, Jake."

He stared at me for several moments as he worked through his emotions. He tightened his jaw in anger and finally let his sorrow show. "You've been gone the whole time," he said softly.

"I know, I'm sorry," I admitted.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

I felt tears fall from my face and I shrugged, "I don't know, Seattle maybe."

"Do you need any money?" he asked and I realized what a great man Jake was.

"No, I'll be fine." I walked past him and got my bag from our room. When I came back to the front of the house he was standing by the door.

"Bella, I can't let you leave believing you walked out on me. I was ready to end this, I've met someone," he said and his eyes fell to the ground in shame.

I walked up and hugged him tightly. "I'm happy for you; you deserve a great woman to love."

"I wanted it to be you, Bella," he said sadly.

"You are my best friend Jake, I hope that doesn't change," I said honestly.

"Absolutely, you can depend on me anytime."

"Will you tell my parents?" I asked and he laughed loudly.

"Not a chance in hell," he said as he picked up my bag for me and walked me to the car.

We were both smiling as I drove away and I felt like a new woman.

**EDWARD**

I walked through the garage door and found my parents in the kitchen. My mother smiled softly and my father looked surprised. "Dad, I'm sorry, but I need a place to stay until I get on my feet."

"Of course," he said and looked back and forth between my mother and me for a moment. "Anything I can do?"

"No, you've done enough already by letting me stay here. I love you both very much," I said and gave them both a hug and kiss. I felt ashamed of how I had viewed my father over the years. He only wanted the best for me and I had been jealous of his guidance and advice. I was never in his shadow, because I would never be man enough to reside there.

My mother followed me to my room and stuck her head inside. "Oh Edward, I want you to wear your tux on Saturday night. This is going to be a big deal."

"You can't give me a hint?" I asked.

"No, and keep it quiet," she said and I nodded. I wondered if my father was receiving some award, but couldn't understand why Rose and Jasper couldn't be there. It was odd for my mother to plan anything the excluded people and it was a bit unsettling.

I unpacked my stuff and became comfortable in to my new life. I had already begun to make plans to find Bella and see if we could possibly work on our relationship, or if it was too late.

**BELLA**

I knocked on Jessica's door and she opened it to find me smiling as tears streamed down my face. She stepped back and let me though before asking me what was going on.

"Jake and I broke up," I said and she gave me a sideways look.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked.

"We are both good with it. He met someone and I admitted I don't love him. I need a favor. May I stay here for a week at the most? I'm moving, I just don't know where yet."

"Sure, but you have a job here, why not stay?"

"I'm the scourge of Forks and I'm ready to forgive myself. I want to find Edward and see if he is still single," I admitted. "Plus it would be easier on my folks to have some distance between us. I've hurt them very badly."

"What if Edward isn't free?" she asked softly.

"I'll be sad, but I'll be okay. I went to see Father Mark today," I told her and watched her eyes widen in shock.

"He let you in the church?" she asked.

"It isn't a sin to give up your vows. The church is fine with my decision; it is the town that can't get over it," I said angrily.

"I'm sorry," she said with shame.

I laughed and said, "You can make it up to me by letting me borrow that little black dress of yours."

"Sure, I can't fit in it anymore so just keep it," she offered and I hugged her tightly. "Why do you need it?" she asked as I headed to her closet to find the dress.

"I'm going to the space needle," I said as I dug through her clothes.

"And jumping?" she asked, irritated that I didn't explain further.

"No, I'm meeting Edward's family." I held the dress up to me and looked in the mirror.

"Wait, I thought you had to find Edward," she asked with confusion.

"I do, but I already found his family," I laughed and refused to explain any further. I knew what a busy body Jessica could be and I needed to keep as much of my life as possible to myself.

She watched me make over the dress and finally grabbed a box and handed it to me. "You might as well wear the shoes, too."

"You are a Saint," I said and gasped when I saw the shoes.

"Well, you would know," she said and left the room.

**EDWARD**

I spent every spare moment at the inner city clinic. I wasn't paid by the hour so I basically worked for free all week, but it kept my mind off of Bella. I was counting the seconds until the big family dinner was over so I could jump in my car and head to Forks.

My mother wouldn't give me so much as a hint at what was going on. I took my tux in to be cleaned and asked the drycleaners if they knew of any galas or fundraisers happening at the Space Needle, nobody knew a thing.

On Friday evening I walked in to see my mother on the phone, she instantly turned her back to me and I felt it had something to do with the dinner. When she hung up she gave me a once over and said, "Edward, you need a haircut."

"I always need a haircut," I admitted and felt my scruffy chin. "I'll shave, but that's it."

"Deal," she said with a smile.

"Are we going together tomorrow, or should I drive?" I asked hoping to get a clue from her answer.

She thought for several seconds before saying, "I guess you should drive and we'll meet you there."

"Sure you aren't pregnant?" I teased her and she threw a pencil at me. I headed to my room and packed up a small bag so I could leave right after the dinner. I gave into the temptation to remember little things about Bella, something I had been so careful not to do over the past seven months.

Like the way she would fidget with her napkin while she ate, or the way she would play with her hair when we talked. My favorite was how she would bite on her lip when she wasn't quite sure what to say. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine holding her in my arms. She was thin, but soft, and my fingers would sink into the soft flesh of her arms when I pulled her to me.

I ended up taking a long shower.

**BELLA**

I couldn't believe I was in Seattle and in just a few short hours I would meet Edward's sisters and find out if he was happy with Tanya, or free to go after. I had made arrangements to have my hair and makeup done, hoping to impress the remainder of the Cullen women. Esme already saw me in my natural state, so there was nothing I could do about that.

I spent the afternoon at a spa and had the works. I couldn't even recognize myself when I put on my dress and heels and left the saloon. The receptionist at the spa smiled widely when she saw me.

"Wow, you look stunning," she said and I felt my face blush.

"Thank you, I really needed a boost right now," I said and she made me turn around for the full effect.

"I bet he proposes," she said with a wink and I laughed. I was spending the evening with all women and dressed fancier than I had ever dressed in my life.

I walked to my car with confidence and anticipation. I had a feeling it was going to be a good night and found myself praying for the safe travel of all the parties coming tonight.

I pulled into the underground parking and headed above ground to the Needle. I was a bit early and planned on heading to the observation deck. A rowdy group of teens got into the elevator with me, so I exited at the restaurant.

"May I help you?" the hostess asked.

"I'm meeting Esme Cullen, but I'm a bit early."

The girl looked at her book, then smiled at me and said, "I can seat you now and you can have some champagne until the rest of the party arrives."

"Great," I said hoping I would be a little relaxed when they showed up. I was seated right next to the window and looked down at the city lights. I was brought a glass of pink champagne and planned on sipping it, but realized how quickly it was gone.

A steward approached me and smile, "A bit nervous?"

"More than a bit," I admitted and he poured me a second glass.

"If it helps, you look beautiful," he said with a slight bow and I had to admit it really did help.

**EDWARD**

I parked my car and looked around to see if I could find if anyone else had arrived. The lot was almost full and I headed to the elevator with a group of tourist. I felt a bit ridiculous in my tux; hopefully they would think I was a waiter or something.

When I arrived at the restaurant I pulled out my cell phone and called my mother. "I'm here, where are you seated?" I asked.

"Let the hostess seat you and hold our table. We hit traffic," she said a bit irritated.

"How long are you going be, I can wait," I offered.

"Emmett should be there soon, hold our table and order a drink," she pushed and I finally agreed. I was feeling a bit anxious and didn't want to drink too much because I had a long drive ahead of me. I waited in the hallway for a few minutes hoping Emmett would show up and finally decided to be seated.

"Hi," the hostess said with a smile.

"Hi, I'm with the Cullen party. I'll be seated and order a drink, the others will be here soon."

"You look very nice, is it a special occasion?" she asked and I really wished I knew.

"It's a surprise for my father," I said having no idea what that actually meant.

"How nice, follow me please," she said and headed to the back of the room. We walked around the moving circular restaurant and headed toward a table where a woman was sitting with her back to me. I noticed her long soft curls and how she was looking intently out the window.

When the waitress stopped at her table I was ready to object, but the woman turned to look at me and I felt my hand grab onto the table for support.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	14. Chapter 14

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 14

**EDWARD**

I was having a really hard time understanding what was going on. Bella looked shock as hell to see me, so she wasn't expecting me. I thought the hostess had made a mistake until she handed us both a card written by my mother.

I held it in my shaking hands and read, _Surprise, make to most of the time I've given you. I love you._

I reluctantly sat down and looked at Bella's blushing face. "We've been had," I said with a chuckle.

"I was invited to a girl's night," she said and kept looking down.

"Bella," I called softly so she would look at me. "I'm glad you're here."

She smiled and my heart took off racing. She was so much prettier than I had remembered and I felt tears fill my eyes. Bella was right in front of me, and I had all evening with her. "You look so beautiful," I told her truthfully.

"So do you," she said shyly and I smiled.

I was brought some champagne and her glass was freshened. I held my glass out and said, "To wonderful surprises."

She clinked my glass and had to wipe a tear from her eye. I reached out and placed my hand over hers and the sensation was overwhelming. She raised her fingers and intertwined them with mine and I stared at them as if they belonged to someone else.

"I can't believe I'm here with you," I said and she nodded and sniffed a couple of times. I downed my glass in an attempt to gain some control of my emotions and reached over to touch her face with my fingertips.

"No crying," I said and she smiled as her tears spilled over her eyes.

"I had my makeup done, I didn't expect to be crying," she said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry about not sending you the email, I know I said I would but I…."

"You didn't send it?" she asked in surprise.

I shook my head shamefully and she said something to stun me, "I never checked to see if you did or not."

"Why?" I asked and then regretted it.

She took a deep breath and said, "Because Jessica told me you cheated on Tanya all the time."

God, I felt like an ass. Now I would have to tell her Jessica was right and she would walk out of here, happy to be rid of me. "I did, but…."

"You're mother told me you changed," she said to give me a bit of comfort.

"When did you see my mother?" I asked in shock.

"She came to Forks and took me to dinner."

"She took me to lunch," I laughed and wanted to have my mother put up for Sainthood.

"Your mother answered all kinds of questions for me," she said and I could tell she had something embarrassing on me.

"Did I tell you my mother is a pathological liar?" I asked and hoped she would buy it.

"She told me you do everything…big."

"Yes, when I make an ass of myself, I do it in a big way," I admitted and hoped it would cover all my bases.

"She also said you have a lot of nerve."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I admitted and waited for her to clue me in.

"Your piercing," she said with raised eyebrows and I laughed loudly causing most of the patrons to look over at us.

I had so many things I could say and I rubbed my forehead as I tried to think them though before opening my big mouth, but just when I was ready to speak she said something to set my body on fire.

"I'm not sure I believe her, I think you'll need to prove it."

**BELLA**

I knew I was being flirtatious, and a bit bold, but he was wearing a freaking tux and we were talking about his penis. He was lucky I didn't pull my dress off where I sat. I knew something great was going to happen tonight, I could just feel it, but I had to admit I never dreamed it would be this great.

I also knew we had some difficult conversations ahead of us, but I had faith we could do it. A waitress walked up with plates of lobster and we both gave her a shocked expression. "Your meals and drinks are all covered," she said and winked at us both.

"You have such an awesome mom," I laughed.

He sat his elbow on the table and let his chin rest in his palm. "I do, and have I told you how unbelievably gorgeous you are?"

"One glass of champagne gets you this drunk," I teased and he smiled with his face still in his hand, the sight of it made me sigh and I wished we were alone and not facing the daunting task of lobster.

"I have an admission to make," he said just as the waitress walked up with two lobster bibs. She fastened it around his neck and I laughed, until she added one to me.

I watched her walk away and turned back to Edward, "An admission?"

"I have a bag packed in my car; I was heading to Forks tonight."

"Really, to do what?"

"Beg you to love me," he said and his eyes locked with mine.

"I've always loved you," I said with a full heart.

"Beg you to be mine," he clarified.

"I'm yours," I said and he rose from his seat and came to my side.

He held my face in his hands and kissed me softly as I leaned into him and gasped for air. We kissed several times, completely unaware of anyone else in the room and looking totally silly with the bibs. The steward came to fill our glasses again we broke apart.

"You have all night for love, enjoy the lobsters," he said and we both laughed. I could care less about the lobsters, but since someone paid for our dinner we better enjoy it.

We both began to eat and Edward finally had the nerve to bring up the difficult subjects.

**EDWARD**

"I was with Tanya out of guilt," I blurted out, knowing we needed to clear the air but hating to spoil the mood.

"I understand, I was doing the same thing," she admitted back to me.

"I never experienced love until I met you, I won't cheat on you, Bella," I said to reassure her but the truth was I would have to prove myself and hoped she would let me.

"Edward, I am not the person I was in college either, I don't hold your past against you."

"I work at the clinic next to the blood bank and although I'm a doctor I don't have any money," I said even though I didn't expect Bella to care.

"You're talking to a former nun," she laughed, "Who didn't even want the dresser in her room."

"Unless it was to hide her perfect breasts," I teased and noticed how she blushed. "In some ways Uganda was the happiest time of my life."

"Mine too," she said softly.

"I want to thank you for saving Lulu," I said and noticed how both of our eyes grew wet.

"I miss her," Bella whispered.

I nodded and looked at my plate, feeling the guilt of being so blessed. We both sat our forks down and took a drink. The hostess walked up to us with a smile and asked if we were enjoying our dinner.

"Did you know about this?" I asked and she pretended to lock her lips with a key.

"I have one more surprise," she said and pulled out a card and handed it to me. "Have a great night."

I opened the card to find a room key for the Four Seasons. I felt a bit uncomfortable, not that I didn't want Bella in my bed tonight, but I felt like I was assuming too much.

"What is it?" she asked.

I placed the card in my pocket and smiled, "My mother wishing us luck."

We both looked at our still full plates and took deep breaths. The only thing worse than having so much food was wasting so much food, so we began working on it again.

When we were offered dessert we both quickly declined. The sound of soft music resonated down from the observation deck and I smiled at Bella. "I would love to dance with you," I said as I stood.

"I'm not sure I will be able to control myself," she said as she took my hand.

"I'm praying you can't," I laughed.

**BELLA**

This entire night was a fantasy I never wanted to end. He pulled me into his arms and moved slowly to the music. I could fell his entire body against mine and it was heaven. I was a bit confused by his reaction to the room key. I had seen what was in the card, but he played it off. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable so I decided to wait a bit before I brought it up.

I could feel it when he started kissing my neck ever so lightly. I let my hand wander into his hair and run my nails across his scalp. It was then I became aware of something else happening to his body and I smiled to myself.

He pulled me tighter and I breathed into his ear causing him to moan. I had always wondered how people could be arrested for public indecency and now I knew. I was losing the ability to make proper judgments and all I could concentrate on was how much I wanted him.

"Edward," I said with much difficulty.

"Hummm," he said against my neck.

"Why did you hide the room key?" I asked as my body smoldered in his arms.

He pulled back to look at me and I wanted to scream for him to return to his original position. I wanted to smack myself for saying anything in the first place.

"You knew it was a key?" he asked.

"I saw it," I said as I refused to look at his eyes.

"I didn't want you to think I would just assume you would go to a hotel with me," he said and then leaned to speak into my ear. "Should I assume?"

"There is still the small matter of the piercing which needs to be cleared up," I said and he quickly took my hand and began leading me to the elevators. I laughed and pulled back to stop him.

"Are you okay with moving ahead or do you want to take it slower?" I asked him seriously.

He took a step towards me and ran his hand from my neck to the back of my head and leaned his forehead onto mine. "I love you, Bella Swan, and I had to live for months thinking you were dead. I don't want to waste a moment that can be spent showing you how much I love you."

I took a step closer so our bodies were right against one another and I kissed him with all the passion I could publicly display.

He suddenly pulled away and began looking around the room.

**EDWARD**

I heard it, loud and clear, maybe because I had been accustomed to that sound over the years, but Emmett's loud laugh was easily detectable.

I took Bella's hand and began walking around the large round room. I saw my entire family off to the side, huddled close together. Alice saw me first and her eyes grew wide as she tapped everyone and pointed in my direction.

They all turned to watch us walk towards them. "Why are you guys really here?" I asked in confusion.

I noticed Jasper and Rosalie were missing and wondered if there was another big announcement and Bella was just the icing on the cake. My father stepped forward and introduced himself to Bella; I was a bit embarrassed I didn't think to do it first.

"This is my brother Emmett, and my sister Alice, this is Bella," I said and watched Alice light up.

She took Bella from my arms and began commenting on her dress and shoes. Emmett elbowed me in the ribs and smiled, "She's hot."

"Stop it," I said and then smiled, "I know."

My mother gave me a tight hug and I thanked her profusely. "We were just leaving," I announced and my mother's eyes widened.

"Not yet, you can't leave for another few minutes," she said looking at her watch.

"There's more?" I gasped.

"Yes, one more little thing," she said with a worried look.

"Is it something for dad?" I asked trying to figure out what was going on.

"Oh be serious, your father has already received every award available."

I was beginning to get irritated by all the intrigue and wanted to get out of there and have Bella to myself. Alice was taking her entire attention and I blew out a long breath. My mother received a call and she suddenly began jumping around.

She pulled me and Bella to the middle of the room and placed Emmett and my father in front of us to block our view. "What's going on?" Bella whispered to me.

"I have no idea," I admitted and shook my head at the absurdity of my family.

"Okay," my mother yelled. "As you all know Jasper and Rosalie are not here with us tonight."

"Jasper's in Georgia," Alice said with confusion.

"And Rose it at a bridal shower," Emmet said.

"Wrong," my mother beamed. "They have been helping me with something. Rosalie is very active with the outreach group at our church and she works with refugees. Jasper's father sits on the board at a bank with a very important man, the CEO of Hanger Orthopedics."

We all looked at each other growing more and more confused and my frustration was reaching epic proportions. My mother finally said, "Bella and Edward, we hope this helps ease your pain in some way."

She pulled Emmett and my father out of the way to reveal Rosalie and Jasper. Then we saw Lulu, walking towards us, walking without any assistance and with two legs. Bella and I grabbed onto each other so we wouldn't fall. Lulu smiled with all her teeth showing and rushed towards us with her arms open. "Doctor, you were like my leg, I could feel you."

I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly as I sobbed. "I missed you so much, Lulu," I said into her hair.

"You saved your love, no?"

I pulled Bella into our hug too and said, "Yes Lulu, I saved my love."

"I stay strong, Bella's God tell her how to save me," she said and Bella was crying so hard she couldn't respond.

I'm sure the entire room thought we were all insane. We were dressed in party clothes and sobbing all over a small Ugandan child.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	15. Chapter 15

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 15

**BELLA**

I couldn't stare at Lulu enough. I could easily watch her walk for hours and never tire of it, but mostly I could look at Edward's face and disappear in the happiness found there. He held Lulu's hand and when a slow song began to play he turned and asked her to dance.

She covered her teeth with her free hand and giggled loudly. "I won't take no for an answer," he said and she finally nodded. He led her a few feet away and held her hand up as he placed his other one on her waist. She continued to laugh and cover her mouth throughout the dance.

"How did you do this?" I asked Esme.

"When Edward told us about the child being alive I wanted to do something. Rosalie knew some Ugandan refugees who lost a child Lulu's age. They contacted government officials and claimed Lulu as their daughter. Jasper arranged for her to fly to Georgia and be fitted with a prosthetic. She arrived in Seattle this evening."

"You can't imagine what this will do for Edward," I said and hugged her tightly.

"And you, I suppose," Esme said and I nodded.

"Thank you, for…everything," I said as my tears began to fall.

"I love my son, and his heart wants you," she said as she wiped her own tears.

I listened to Edward and Lulu speaks Swahili, along with her new parents and my heart was full of pride. They laughed and teased and all the pain of the last year disappeared. When it grew late Lulu's parents insisted they take her home and we made plans to meet up with them during the week.

I had to hold Edward tightly as they led Lulu away. He let out a shaky breath and I whispered to him, "She's safe."

He turned to me and smiled in a way that melted my heart. "Are you ready to go?" I asked him.

"Yes, but I'm not staying with you tonight," he said softly as his fingers filtered through my hair. When he saw the reaction on my face he quickly explained.

"I want to do everything right, Bella. I want us to marry, quickly, like next weekend. I don't want to hurt God buy not respecting his gifts. He gave me you, and he helped Lulu, how can I ignore that?"

"You want to marry me next weekend?" I asked as a smile grew on my face.

He leaned in to whisper into my ear, "I figure I can give God a week, after that all bets are off."

I knew exactly what he meant. Having him in my arms was heaven and I would have to let him walk away tonight. I had no idea how I could do that. I kissed him deeply and the world fell away. Only his kisses affected me that way.

He hugged me tightly and whispered, "Ninakupenda, Bella."

"Ninakupenda, Edward," I said with a smile.

**EDWARD**

I could not believe I just told Bella I would not be spending the night with her. I wanted that more than oxygen, but seeing Lulu made me realize how good God was being to me and I couldn't take his gifts for granted. I had a lifetime with Bella and I would do everything right.

I had intended to propose correctly, but it just fell from my mouth, so I would have to make up for it when I got the ring. I knew exactly what I would do to give her the proposal she deserved and it made me smile at the thought.

"What are you thinking, Edward?" Bella asked me as we walked toward her car.

"May I pick you up early tomorrow for breakfast?" I asked.

"You can stay, it will be morning soon," she said and I felt my determination wane. I pulled the card from my pocket and handed it to her, knowing if I showed up at the Four Seasons I would not leave.

"I'll put a mattress on the floor," she teased and I stared into her beautiful eyes.

"I'm not opposed to having you on the floor, so I better stay away," I admitted.

"You are seriously sending me home to Jessica's knowing she's had you and I haven't," she said with a frown.

"You have to comfort of knowing I'm marrying you, not her," I pointed out. "Plus, it is only for a week and then I'm never sending you home again."

"How do we plan a wedding in a week?" she asked and I laughed loudly, knowing she didn't have a clue how resourceful my sister could be.

"Do I need to come with you to Forks and speak to your parents?" I asked willing to take a bullet from her father.

She groaned loudly and said, "No, I think I will have Father Mark speak to them, since I will have nothing to confess."

"See, it is working out already," I smiled but her face turned serious and she leaned her body against mine. I pulled her tightly and she cuddled up in my arms.

"Oh, Edward," she said with a sigh, "How will I make it a week?"

"Will it help if I tell you every hour how much I love you?" I asked and wondered how a heart could rejoice and ache at the same time.

"Slightly, but I want to keep you in my arms, I am terrified if I let you go, I'll lose you."

"Bella, don't be silly, nothing can separate us again, look what we have gone through and we are together…."

"I know I'm being silly, but I can't lose you again, I just can't," she said and began to cry.

I began to wonder if my self imposed celibacy was the right thing to do. If she needed me in her bed to believe we could be together, I should be willing to go there. I felt confidence boil up inside of me and I took her face in my hands. "Bella, have faith," I whispered and she laughed.

"What happened to the arrogant man who hated my God?"

"We both realized we can share you," I said and felt a warm feeling spread through me.

**BELLA**

I gave Edward one last kiss and headed off to the hotel alone. I had just crawled into bed when my cell phone rang. I looked at the phone and smiled when I saw it was Edward.

"I miss you," I answered.

"I made it home safely and securely in my bed, so sleep well knowing I'll live through the night," he teased me.

"You don't know that for sure, what if a stray thread wraps around your piercing and you bleed to death," I said and tried really hard not to picture it.

"I'll remove the dangerous item, hold on a sec," he said and I instantly cried out for him to stop.

"You can't send me here alone and say things like that," I complained. "New rule, anything you see you must describe in detail."

"Okay, I'm wearing blue checked pajama bottoms with a thick elastic band, when I pull them forward I see…."

"Scratch that, new rule, anything you see you must come over here and let me see, too," I demanded.

He laughed loudly and said, "You don't know how glad I am not to be there right now. I'm afraid my foot really would sodomize you this time."

"What if I hear a sound I can't identify?" I whined.

"It will just be me, sobbing in the hallway," he laughed.

"I missed you so much," I whispered and I heard him take a deep breath.

I thought of all those nights we talked over the small radios, bonding our hearts together and doing something good for others. I grew sad that we had to leave. We ran, and should have stayed to see how God would save us, but he broke us apart to put us together differently and now we were both so much stronger.

"Edward, do you miss Uganda?" I asked.

"Very much," he admitted and I heard the pain in his voice.

"I'm happy for Lulu, and for us," I said, "But I miss the work."

"I can't take you back there, I would be useless due to my worry for your safety," he said and for the first time I realized it was something he was considering.

"Maybe we can find a way to help them from here, get involved in some relief efforts and help shine a light on what is happening over there?" I suggested.

"I've been thinking about going to Kampala and helping the Red Cross teach people from various villages how to care for the sick. A very basic medical school of sorts," he said and the enthusiasm in his voice was so evident.

"That's an amazing idea, Edward; let the villagers be in control of their own facilities. Giving them knowledge is so much better than giving them material things.

"I'm afraid you are the only person who would understand," he said sadly.

"I'm the only person who needs to understand, Edward. But you need to understand I would not let you go alone, we're a team now, and I could be a lot of help to you."

"I wouldn't let you leave Kampala," he said forcefully.

I smiled at his impression he could control me simply because I would be his wife. "We would have to act like we were married," I teased.

"Yes, could you stand having my hands all over you Sister Mary Isabella?"

"Now you say it, you ass," I yelled and he laughed along with me.

I yawned and he began speaking softly, "Sleep well my love. I'll pick you up around ten."

"Edward," I said in a whisper, the name meaning so much to me. He was my happiness and my partner in my faith with God. I would stand by his side as we tried to do a little good in the world.

"I love you," he said and hung up the phone.

**EDWARD**

I had already put my sister to work on wedding plans and asked my mother to please keep Alice reined in. We wanted fast and simple. I hung up from talking to Bella and heard a soft knock on my door.

"Come in," I called out and my father stepped inside the room. "What's up, dad?"

He walked over to sit on the edge of my bed and I could see he was trying to control his emotions. I sat up and leaned on one elbow to hear whatever he needed to say.

"We love Bella," he said with a smile and it made me love my father that much more. "I offered this to Emmett and Jasper and they both turned it down, so feel free to do the same."

I had no idea what he was talking about and waited for him to continue speaking. He held out something in the palm of his hand and I looked down at a simple gold band. It had pretty scrolling around the edges and an inscription written on the inside which said, _God, you and me_.

"This is beautiful, dad," I said as I stared at the simple jewelry.

"It was my mother's wedding ring. Times were simpler back then and women want diamonds now, but if you want it, it's yours."

"Bella would love this," I said and felt my eyes well up.

"Do you have any plans?" he asked and I knew he wanted to know if I planned on moving Bella into my childhood room and remaining here forever.

I laughed and patted him on the back, "We're working a something, I'll grow up soon, I promise."

"No hurry, I like having a kid in the house again," he said and gave me a hug. "I'm proud of you, son."

I waited until he got to the door before my throat relaxed enough to talk, "Dad," I called out and he turned to look at me. "I'd walk in your shadow any day, thanks," I said and held up the ring.

He nodded and left me to dream about the woman I love.

**BELLA**

I was so nervous when we pulled up in front of Edward's home. It was a large house with bright flowers everywhere. Edward and I were having a really hard time keeping our hands off of one another and I hoped we wouldn't offend his family.

It was raining lightly and we ran to the porch laughing and then spent the next few minutes kissing passionately. The door suddenly opened and Alice punched Edward in the arm. "You didn't give me much time, so stop wasting it."

"Jasper's kisses are a waste of time?" Edward said to tease her but she only glared at him and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the house. She was very strong for such a little woman.

"We're going to talk about dresses, so go away," she said forcefully to her brother.

"The rebel's are nothing compared to Alice, sorry Bella," he laughed and headed into the other room.

She took my hand again and pulled me up the stairs and into a large master bedroom suite. I saw several dresses on the bed and had no idea how she did it so fast.

"Does your mother have a dress she will want you to consider?" Esme asked and I shook my head. I was so much taller and thinner than my mom and her dress would not fit.

"You can go to the mall and find one off the rack if you don't like any of these. Don't worry about the fit, Alice and alter anything as long as it is long enough," Rosalie said and picked up one of the dresses.

"These look really expensive," I said and was afraid to touch the dress in her hands.

"These are used," Rose said with a roll of her eyes. "They won't cost you a dime."

"This was mine," Esme said and held up a second dress. I gasped loudly at the beautiful antique gown.

"Start trying them on," Alice demanded as she pulled on my shirt. "Oh wait, you don't have on any nun underwear, do you?"

"What's nun underwear?" I asked with a laugh.

"I don't know, white granny panties or pictures of the Pope?"

I quickly removed my jeans to show the silk lace I had purchased when I thought I was seeing Edward months ago. Rosalie whistled loudly and said, "No wonder Edward found religion again. He's been worshiping at a pretty hot alter."

I turned red and everyone noticed and began laughing and making comments. I shocked them all when I said, "I've never had sex with Edward."

The room became silent and Alice said, "Edward, my brother, Edward?"

"Are you a virgin?" Rosalie asked with an almost reverent voice.

"No," I said shamefully, "but I've never been with Edward."

"Oh my God, Emmett's going to freak," Rosalie said and grabbed her cell phone. Esme kindly removed it from her hand and brought the attention back to the dresses.

I began trying them on, and we would have to stop and wash my face after each one due to my uncontrollable sobbing. I liked them all and couldn't pick a favorite so the other women began fighting over them.

**EDWARD**

Bella came walking down the stairs with red eyes and looking totally overwhelmed. I met her at the bottom step and pulled her into my arms. She laid her head on my chest and exhaled loudly.

"I have something to make it all better," I said softly.

Her arms tightened around my waist as she said, "This makes it all better."

I gave her a couple of soft kisses and walked her backwards into the kitchen. I had spent all morning trying to stick the ring into a Dove bar and finally realized I had two different kinds. Jasper insisted I put it in the one with crushed peanuts in the chocolate coating, but I felt Bella was more of an original kind of girl. I had ruined an entire box before I got it the way I wanted.

I opened the freezer and pulled out two Dove bars. "Ta da," I announced. "Which one would you like?"

Her eyes lit up and she grabbed the peanut covered bar and I wanted to punch a wall. How was I ever going to get her I choose the other one now?

Jasper saw my dilemma and came over to give Bella a hug, "Congratulations, sister."

Bella tensed and he shot his hands out, knocking the ice cream to the ground. "I'm sorry, I meant a sister in the family, not like a nun thing, and now look what I've done, do you have anymore, Edward?"

I acted disgusted but inside I wanted to kiss Jasper. I handed Bella the other Dove bar and she smiled gratefully. "Thank you Jasper, I look forward to getting to know all of you better."

Watching her lick the bar was torturous on two levels, I was anxious for her to get to the ring, but also becoming aroused by watching her tongue run up the sides of the ice-cream.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	16. Chapter 16

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 16

**EDWARD**

"Come on, Bella, stop," Edward was begging as he held me in his arms while I cried over the simple gold band.

"It's just so perfect," I cried, "How did you know to pick something so perfect?"

"It belonged to my grandmother, I'll get you an engagement ring to go with it," he said making me cry even harder.

"No, don't you get it, this is perfect, I don't want anything else."

He finally pulled back to reveal the large ice cream stain on the front of his shirt and I quickly dumped the melting stick into the sink. He pulled the shirt over his head and I broke into tears again. He was so beautiful, and I wanted him so badly, and I was being so emotional, but no matter how much I chastised myself I couldn't calm down.

He took my hand and led me upstairs but I quickly pulled away when he got to his bedroom door. There was no way I could go in his bedroom, as he remained shirtless, and not attack him. I mumbled something about waiting downstairs and went down to find Alice working on the wedding.

"How many people do you want to invite?" she asked me.

"Um, about ten, I guess," I told her.

"How do you feel about classic black and white?" she asked and I sat down to get her full attention.

"Alice, I want it really simple. I couldn't bear to have an expensive wedding when there are so many better things to spend money on. I love Edward; I don't need a big party to convince people."

"But you're supposed to feel like a princess on your wedding day," she complained.

"Edward makes me feel like a princess every day," I said and felt my hear swell.

I felt two arms come around me and he whispered in my ear, "I'll spend my life making you feel like a princess."

I smiled and stood so I could kiss him in appreciation. I knew I had to go home and talk to my parents and begin making the move into my life as Mrs. Cullen, but I hated leaving Edward for even five days. We had so much to decide on, but we didn't mind rushing into the wedding. We had faith it would all work out.

"Okay, what time on Saturday?" I asked.

"Six," Alice interjected.

"In the morning," Edward added.

"No," she yelled, "In the evening. I'll arrange for your hair and makeup, but pack a bag for a honeymoon."

My eyes looked at Edward and I knew it wouldn't matter where we went, as long as we were together. I finally forced myself to ask him to drive me back to the hotel to get my car and make the long drive to Forks.

"Do you want me to come?" he asked for the hundredth time.

"No, but I do want you to call me constantly and promise you'll love me forever," I said and kissed him deeply.

"I'm going to cry like a little girl when you leave," he said as he stuck out his bottom lip.

I watched him through my rearview mirror as I pulled away. He waved and I knew I had to confidence to face my parents. My love for Edward was the strongest thing in my life.

**EDWARD**

I had so much to get done in five short days. I headed back into the hotel to reserve a room for our wedding night and made arrangement to have Dove bars delivered. I was on top of the world and nothing could bring me down.

I drove home and walked into the house whistling. I looked up to see Tanya sitting at the table with red, swollen eyes. Rosalie was sitting with her and she let her eyes fall and refused to look at me. I swallowed deeply and headed to my room, refusing to let anything bring me down.

"Edward," Tanya called out to me, "I need to talk to you."

I froze and stared at her crying face. Heaviness settled on me and I began shaking my head, "No," I said as I walked backwards from the room.

She jumped up to follow me and I held out my arm, "No," I repeated and shook my head harshly to ward off the words she needed to say.

"I'm sorry, I didn't plan it," she said as she reached out for me. I quickly moved out of reach and felt my oxygen becoming limited.

I grabbed onto the stair railing and held a finger up as I walked backwards up the stairs, "I don't want to hear it, don't say it," I begged her.

"I can't do this alone," she cried, but I continued shaking my head.

I silently begged God to save me, I needed his help and surely he would make it right, since he gave her back. I slammed my bedroom door as I gasped for air. I threw my arms in rage and knocked everything off of my dresser. I screamed in anguish as I punched the closet door over and over again.

"Edward," my father said softly.

I spun around to face him, my father, the one man who fixed things for me. I held out my hands as I began to shake violently. "Dad, I can't, I am begging you to help me," I cried without knowing exactly what it was that was destroying my happiness.

Tanya walked up behind him and said through her tears, "I won't have an abortion."

"No," I screamed at the top of my lungs and held onto the wall for support. She said it; she used the words I had forbid her to say. She collapsed my world and kept her word, "I'll ruin you," she had said and the happiest day of my life now found me wishing I was dead.

**BELLA**

I drove right to my parent's home. I wasn't afraid to see their disappointment. I would leave Forks and they could tell any story they wanted. Surely something about Edward would please them. I walked into the kitchen to find them eating dinner.

"Hi," I beamed and they actually smiled back at me.

"Jake told us he broke up with you, how are you doing?" my dad asked.

It was typical of Jake to make himself out as the bad guy. I chuckled and sat down to announced boldly, "I'm getting married on Saturday."

They both laughed as if I was making a joke. "I'm not kidding; I'm marrying Edward Cullen on Saturday."

My mother's mouth actually fell open and my father sat his fork and knife down, "What about your vocation?" my mom asked softly.

"I spoke with Father Mark and I have his blessing. I confessed my sins and I have not had sex with Edward. We are doing this right and we love each other very much."

"You don't want to be a nun?" my mom asked and I groaned in frustration.

"Mother, I want to be a wife and mother. We are going back to Uganda someday and…"

"That's enough, Bella," my father yelled loudly.

"What?" I asked like a scolded little girl.

"Stop this nonsense. I'm sorry it didn't work with Jake, but you can't run off with the first guy willing to marry you. When are you going to become responsible?"

My mouth went dry and I stood slowly from the chair. My mind was reeling and I felt like he had slapped me across the face. I walked to the door and turned to look back at their sad, disappointed faces. "You have no idea who I am and what I feel," I said as tears began to fall. "I'm a good person and I deserve to marry the man I love and have a happy life."

I left and drove to Jessica's house and when I entered she called out from down the hallway, "How'd it go?"

"Great," I said and tried to sound happy. "I'm getting married on Saturday."

She came into view to see if I was kidding or not and I hid my face in my hands and turned toward the wall to cry. She rushed over to me and pulled me into her arms, "What's wrong?" she asked in fear.

"Edward and I are getting married, but my parents think I am throwing myself at the first available guy. I love him Jess, I really do."

"Of course you do," she said and led me to the couch, "I mean the guy can make you forget your own name…multiple times."

"We haven't had sex," I said and wished I had a lighter to set her on fire.

"Wait, you're talking about Edward Cullen, right?"

"We're doing everything the right way, he hid a ring in my Dove bar," I said and collapsed into tears again.

"It's okay, Bella, you're parents will see, you'll prove it to them," she said to comfort me.

"Will you come; you can bring a date, but please say you'll come to my wedding?" I sobbed.

"Oh God," she said and I pulled back to look at her. "Bella, I've slept with the groom."

I let out loud wailing sobs and she quickly agreed to come. "Thank you," I said and wiped my nose on my shirt.

"This is going to be the most uncomfortable wedding in the world; a former playboy marries a former nun, what could possibly go wrong?" she asked and we both laughed loudly.

**EDWARD**

I glanced down at my phone and saw Bella was calling again. I shut it off and looked across the table at Tanya and my mother. I couldn't express the amount of hatred I felt for her. If she thought this would put us back together she was wrong.

"Edward will live up to his responsibilities," my father said and I shook my head back and forth as I glared at her.

"You owe me, Edward," Tanya cried.

"You're a physician, Tanya, don't tell me you didn't do this on purpose," I accused her and felt my hands pull into fists from anger.

"We were engaged, Edward. I thought a child would be the next logical step to keep your ass at home, it just wasn't in time."

"You don't have a baby to keep someone home," I said with disgust.

"When are you going to grow tired of whoring around," she yelled. "You do this constantly and you always come back. Don't make your child pay for you wild ways, come home, where you belong."

I stood and kicked my chair harshly. "I tried to be fair to you by doing the right thing, you lied, and I am not calling off my wedding. I love Bella, I will never cheat on her and I will spend forever with her. If you want this child to have a father, give it up for adoption." I stormed from the room and out the door. Emmett quickly ran after me and jumped in the passenger side as I squealed out of the driveway.

**BELLA**

I was surprised I hadn't heard from Edward by bed time and tried to call him several times. I tried not to worry and quickly pushed down the feelings of panic. Knowing Edward he was working on some surprise for our wedding, so I wouldn't bother him.

I grabbed a pencil and began working on a list of things I needed to get done. I planned on talking to Father Mark first thing in the morning and ask him to speak to my parents. I was going to have Alice find a beautiful dress for Lulu and ask her to be my flower girl. I also needed to find Edward a wedding band.

I fell asleep with my head full of thoughts about Edward. I knew I would have beautiful dreams of the man I loved, but instead my phone rang at two in the morning.

I was trying to get my bearings and answered with a hoarse voice. "Hello," I croaked.

"Bella?" a woman asked.

"Who is this?" I asked trying to understand what was going on.

"My name is Tanya; I met you several months ago."

"Yeah, sure, I remember," I said and sat up in bed.

"I heard you're getting married on Saturday and I felt you should know something, and you deserve to hear it from me," she said sadly.

"Okay," I said hesitantly.

"I'm pregnant with Edward's baby," she said and began to cry.

I couldn't respond and I wasn't sure what she wanted me to say. I quickly looked at my phone to see she was calling me from Edward's phone. "Let me speak to Edward," I mumbled.

"He's passed out drunk in his bed," she said and my heart was beating wildly.

"He doesn't know you're calling me?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"He didn't want you to know; he wanted out of your relationship first."

"So why are you telling me?" I asked, angry she was ruining everything for us.

"You're a woman, I thought you would understand," she sobbed.

"Why do you have his phone?" I wasn't being sympathetic at all, I was angry and feeling sick to my stomach. I wasn't stupid; I knew what she was doing. I would never do this to Jake and it sickened me she would do it to Edward.

"I needed your number, I wanted to talk to you," she said softly.

"Listen," I said forcefully, "Put his phone away and go home. When we return from our honeymoon we'll all get together and work something out. If you had hoped to change my desire to marry Edward, you're sadly mistaken."

She angrily hung up on me and I lay in the dark trying desperately to come up with a plan to save my man from being lured away.

**EDWARD**

It took me several minutes to figure out where I was and what had happened. My head was pounding and my mouth felt like it was full of cotton. I rolled over and felt an arm tighten around me. I looked behind me to see Tanya lying in my bed, naked.

I jumped up and saw I was naked, too. I tried to think back and I couldn't remember a thing. Tanya stretched and sat up to smile at me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in shock.

"You asked me to stay," she said with a hurt expression and tears ready to fall.

"Why?"

"Edward, you told me we would work it out, you even called Bella and told her," she explained as tears fell down her cheeks.

"I told Bella?" I gasped.

"Yes, she called you horrible, awful things, remember?"

I reached out for the mattress so I wouldn't fall down from the gut punch her words gave me. She moved closer and I quickly moved away. I grabbed my phone and looked at the history to see a call was made to Bella in the middle of the night. The phone dropped from my hand and crashed onto the floor.

"Honey, you told me you were happy I was here, that I was the only one who truly loved you. You even hoped our baby would be a boy, you said you wanted a son."

"Tanya, go home," I said as I grabbed my jeans and quickly put them on.

"Where are you going?" she said angrily.

"I'm going to Forks," I said and grabbed a shirt and some shoes.

"She won't be there, she said she was leaving."

I picked up my phone and saw the screen was shattered. "Shit," I screamed, realizing I didn't have Bella's number now. I had to do the one thing I never wanted to do. I had to call Jessica Stanley.

I turned on my laptop and search for Jessica's number. I ran downstairs and used the house phone to call.

"Hello," a woman answered.

"Jessica, this is Edward, how are you?" I said nervously.

"Edward Cullen?" she asked angrily and I shut my eyes tightly.

"Yeah," I answered softly.

"You said you would call, I guess you're not a liar after all."

I knew she had every right to give me hell and I would allow her every blow she wanted to take. This was my only hope of reaching Bella and I owed Jessica her vengeance.

"I'm sorry Jessica, I was a real jerk."

"Wait, so is that true…or was your admission we were great together true?"

"Jessica, I admit I was an ass, and I admit I treated you badly. I apologize, okay?"

"You owe me money for all the panties you ripped," she demanded and I pulled the phone from my mouth and yelled silently, "Fuck!"

"I suppose you want Bella," she finally said to give me hope her digs were over.

"Yes, my cell phone broke and I don't have her number."

"Hang on," she said and dropped the phone loudly.

She came back after a few moments to say, "She's gone. Her bed is empty and her stuff is gone."

"Give me her cell number," I demanded with a panicked voice and Jessica mistook it for giving her attitude.

"Oh baby, trust me, would I hurt you? I'm just really busy that's all, we'll get together real soon, I promise. Come on, give me something to think about tomorrow, you do that so well, you're body drives me crazy."

"I get it Jess, and again, I'm sorry. Would you please give me Bella's cell number?"

She called out the numbers quickly and hung up the phone. I wrote them down and dialed the number but it went straight to voicemail. I didn't know if she had her phone turned off or if she was only out of a signal area.

* * *

**Authors note: This a little hic up….we haven't even gotten close to the dramatic part yet!**

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**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	17. Chapter 17

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 17

**BELLA**

There was no way I would sit in Forks, four hours away, and let Tanya destroy my relationship. I packed up my clothes, which was all I possessed anyway, and headed to Seattle at first light. I was coming up with all kinds of scenarios to convince Edward we could work everything out. I would support his relationship with his child, but also stand firm on allowing Tanya limited access to us.

The only thing I couldn't figure out was how Edward could live his dream of returning to Uganda. If he was a father he couldn't do dangerous things to hurt his child's heart. I had to hope he would find a new dream to focus on.

I also imagined all kinds of scenarios for confronting Tanya. I vacillated between giving her a big hug and promising I would always be kind to Edward's child, and punching her two front teeth out. My hands were shaking by the time I got to Edward's house. I was sure Tanya was lying about his desire to end it with me, but a small amount of doubt began to creep in.

Nobody answered the door and I pulled out my phone to see it was still shut off. I called Edward's number and it went right to voice mail. I decided to head to the clinic and catch him at work. The city traffic was stop and go as I inched my way to the clinic.

I sat in line for a red light for the third rotation and looked around to see an old restored church. My eye caught sight of a car that looked like Edward's. I made an illegal turn and pulled into the parking lot to see it was indeed Edward's car. I knew he must be very distraught and I quickly headed inside.

I peeked into the sanctuary to see Edward sitting in a middle pew, leaning his clasped hands on the bench in front of him, with his head down. I walked quietly forward to see his mouth moving silently. I entered the row in front of where he was sitting and softly sat to watch him.

He was unaware of my presence as he continued deeply in prayer, so I leaned over and softly kissed his joined hands. His head snapped up and I saw his red, glassy eyes, before he grabbed my face in his hands.

"I didn't mean to call you, I was drunk, I don't even know what I said and I…."

I reached out with just my finger and placed it over his mouth to make him stop talking. His eyes filled with tears causing mine to do the same.

"I love you," I whispered to him and watched his eyes close in relief. He had been afraid for us and it hurt my heart to know he had been in pain.

"I'm so sorry," he offered in a voice so broken it scared me.

I held his face gently in my hands. "No, you have nothing to be sorry for," I said with a soft smile. "You never called me, Tanya did."

His eyes widened and then his anger set in. I could feel his jaw tighten beneath my hands and I chuckled lightly. "She can't win, Edward, there is nothing she can do to hurt us."

"I woke up with her in my bed, we were both naked," he confessed and I simply nodded knowing she would use that information to attempt to place a wedge between us. I had absolutely no worries about anything happening last night, if it had, she wouldn't have called.

"Do you work today?" I asked him.

"Yes, in an hour," he said looking up at the large clock.

"Have you eaten?" I asked smelling only liquor on his breath.

He shook his head back and forth so I stood and held my hand out for his. He placed his hand in mine and walked step for step with me down the row into the open aisle. I looked around at the beautiful building and said, "We should get married here."

"I'll put Alice right on it," he said and finally gave me a genuine smile.

**EDWARD**

We walked around the corner to a small café and ate a large greasy breakfast, needing some comfort food after the emotion of the past hours. I watched her carefully for any sign of suppressed anger or disappointment. She looked at me with only love and I completely understood why God had wanted her so much.

"I broke my phone and had to call Jessica for your number," I said as I let out a shiver at the memory.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," she laughed.

"I should just be grateful she never took out a contract on my life," I said before taking a bite of my food.

"I think she secretly hopes you will sleep with her again, it is quite the experience, from what I've heard," she said as she winked and my body took notice.

"Is the back seat of your car empty?" I asked her and wasn't quite sure if I was joking or not.

"No, everything I own is in my car. I'm not leaving and giving Tanya any wiggle room," she said as she pointed her fork at me. I laughed and felt so much better knowing she was staying.

"You can have Alice's old room, it's down the hall from me," I laughed and she placed her hand over her heart. "But, I don't have any walkie talkies."

"When will you be done today?" she asked and it made me miss her already.

"Around six, do you want to catch a movie or anything?" I realized I never actually took her on a date. What can compete with rebel armies for excitement?

"I don't care, as long as we're together," she answered and I felt lucky all over again.

"I'll come up with something," I smiled.

I used her phone to call my mother and made sure someone would be home to let her in and show her to Alice's old room. I opened her car door when it was time to leave but quickly stepped in her path so she couldn't sit. She smiled and laid her head against my chest.

My arms tightened around her and I looked up at the old church with gratitude.

"I thought my heart would be crushed today," I admitted, "But I feel better than I have ever felt in my life."

"There will be some tough times ahead, but know I will be right by your side," she said and kissed my chest lightly directly over my heart.

**BELLA**

I got to the house to find Alice waiting. She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the kitchen where she had things laid out on the table. I couldn't believe how much work she was willing to do on her own and I was happy to be here to help.

Rosalie and Esme took the guest list and made all the personal calls as Alice and I ran around town taking care of the flowers, cake, catering service and even booking the old church. We made out a list of things to do each day, and I noticed how little time would be left for Edward and I to be alone.

The one thing none of us discussed was Tanya, we continued on as if she did exist. I also tried to ignore the fact my father wouldn't be walking me down the aisle. I told myself it didn't matter and even considered asking Jake to do it.

When Edward got home we decided to forgo a movie and visit Lulu. I wanted to ask her to be in the wedding and I was happy to have the opportunity to see her face when I did. She opened the door to the small apartment and dove at Edward. I realized what a great father he was going to be and felt a twinge of jealousy it would be Tanya giving him his first child.

We asked her about the wedding and when I told her she could wear a beautiful dress she looked a little scared.

"Lulu doesn't like the mall," her adoptive mother shared with me.

"Why's that?" I asked Lulu.

"Too much," she said looking at the ground. "Too much clothes."

"You're right, Lulu," I said, "We have way too much and it isn't fair. Tell me your favorite color and I will pick you a dress.

She smiled and said, "The sun, low in the sky. Like you say, Doctor, colors are prettier when they are real."

I watched Edward's eyes sadden as he remembered the far off place he would not be able to return to now. I wondered if he would be willing to let me stay behind with his child for a few months as he worked in Kampala, but the thought of being away from him was too painful to think about.

We enjoyed out visit with Lulu and I had planned on offering to let her have her hair and nails done, but I was afraid she was too overwhelmed at the moment. We left and made the long drive back to the Cullens.

When we pulled up to the house Edward turned off the engine and turned to look at me. "Bella, if I promise not to touch you, will you sleep with me tonight?"

"It isn't just an issue of you not touching me, because quite frankly I would be fine with it. I'm not strong enough to tell you no, are you strong enough not to try anything?"

He ran his hands through his hair and finally grinned over at me. "No, not at all," he laughed.

I climbed onto my knees and leaned over the center console to kiss him. He pulled me into his lap with my legs still on my side of the seat as he ran his hands down my thigh. I moaned loudly and he moved around in his seat to find the pressure he needed.

The door flew open and the overhead light came on to reveal Emmett smiling at us. "What cha doing?" he said trying to sound like a vapid girl.

"Fuck off," Edward said angrily and Emmett laughed even louder.

"I think that was what you were doing," he said and then turned his head to yell toward the house. "Mom, Edward's trying to screw a nun."

"I'm not a nun, so fuck off," I said and moved to my side of the seat.

Edward and Emmett both laughed and I got out of the car and glared at them. I really needed some special attention from Edward and was not too happy it was spoiled.

"Alice is looking for you," Emmett announced and I headed into the house.

**EDWARD**

I wanted to run after Bella and see if she was really mad or only teasing, but Emmett grabbed my arm and held me back. He waited for Bella to go inside before leaning against the car and looking at me.

"Okay, about your bachelor party…"

"Oh hell no," I yelled, "My relationship with Bella is tenuous enough without adding strippers and whores."

"Don't be stupid, dad will be there," he said to ease my mind but I continued to shake my head. "How about a nice dinner topped off by cigars?"

I decided to talk to my brother heart to heart and hope he had it in him. "Emmett, what's it like having Corbin?"

He could tell I was not in the mood for jokes and he took a deep breath. "I can't tell you what you want to hear, bro, I couldn't do it."

"Do what?" I asked him as a heaviness settled on us.

"I couldn't see him once in awhile. I know Rose does most of the work, but even so, I enjoy watching her with him."

"I can't believe how messed up everything is," I said honestly. "I finally got the love of my life and…"

I couldn't continue, I felt like putting my feelings into words would send my life shattering around me. Emmett stepped forward and pulled me into his big, strong arms. "I'm really sorry, Edward."

I hugged him back and wished I had been a better brother over the years.

We headed into the house and I saw Bella holding Corbin on her lap. The sight should have been touching but my heart lurched at the sight. I wanted to have a family with Bella not Tanya. She glanced over at me and noticed my mood.

I tried to smile and watched as Bella handed Corbin to Emmett and walked over to take my hand. She pulled me up the stairs and into my room. We left the lights off and she hugged me. I rocked us back and forth and silently thanked God for such an understanding woman.

"You look so tired, Edward, get some sleep," she said and kissed me tenderly.

"I love you so much; can you feel it, Bella?"

"Yes, I can, thank you. We're going to spend forever together."

I nodded and kissed her again before letting her leave the room.

**BELLA**

The rest of the week was a blur and I worried whenever Edward was away from me. He worked long hours and I worked on wedding details. Alice helped me find the perfect gold dress for Lulu and I found the perfect ring for Edward at an antique shop.

On Friday night Edward had a bachelor party and the women gathered at the Cullen house for our own bachelorette party. I was in a great mood and having fun when I looked up to see my mother enter the room.

I screamed loudly and ran to her open arms. "You came," I cried.

"Yes, and your father is with the men," she said to send me into loud sobs.

"Hello, Renee," Esme said and handed her a margarita.

"Esme took you to dinner, didn't she?" I laughed and watched both women smile and give each other a loving squeeze. I felt like everything was coming together and my life would be total happiness from here on out.

I was sound asleep for my last night as a single woman when I heard my bedroom door open. I sat up on my elbows and saw Edward stumble toward me.

"Are you drunk?" I asked a bit irritated.

"No, it's dark and I can't see," he said in a loud whisper as he climbed onto the bed.

"You're not supposed to be in here," I said with a huge smile on my face.

"I came to tie you to the bed, so you can't run if you get cold feet," he said as he pulled me into his arms. I felt a sense of calm spread over me and I knew my happiness would always lie in him. We could face anything together and our forever would begin in less than twenty-four hours.

"I've never been more certain of anything in my life," I admitted to him. "I love you deeply, Edward."

"Charlie was actually pleasant tonight," he informed me and it made everything complete.

We held each other and soon fell asleep with our arms and legs tangled together.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	18. Chapter 18

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 18

**BELLLA**

I didn't think I would be nervous, it was a simple wedding with only a few guests, but I couldn't stop my hands from shaking and the woman giving me a manicure kept huffing angrily. I was sure something had been forgotten, it was all happening too easily.

My mother was sitting in the chair next to me and Esme on my other side. "Do you have your something old, new, borrowed and blue?" my mother asked.

"Well, I borrowed Esme's dress, my wedding ring is old, I have blue panties, so it is just the new I am missing."

The two women looked at each other and smiled. "Here," my mom said and handed me a small box.

I opened the lid to find a beautiful cross made of mother of pearl. I gasped at the sight and touched it lightly with my free hand. "It's beautiful, thank you very much," I said looking back and forth between the two women.

"It's from Edward," my mother explained and I gave a girly, "ahhh."

Esme stood and placed the cross around my neck before giving me a soft kiss on my cheek. The day was absolutely perfect.

**EDWARD**

I was struggling with my tie when my father came up behind me and tied it into a perfect bow. He smiled and patted my back before leaving the room and letting me pace alone. I heard a soft knock and hoped it was Bella; I was going crazy with my need to see her face.

I quickly opened the door to see Tanya standing before me, I tried to shut the door but she stuck her foot out to stop it. "Edward, I just want to wish you well and ask you to call when you get home from your honeymoon, so we can work some things out."

"I'll get a lawyer and we'll work through him," I said and tried to shut the door again.

"Edward, I am trying to be civil and not cause a rift in our families. I'm attending your God damn wedding, so throw me a bone here."

"Fine, I'll call you when we get home," I relented and noticed Mr. Swan walking down the hallway. I suddenly felt sneaky and like I was doing things behind Bella's back, so I added loudly, "I'll have Bella give you a call and set up a time to talk with us.

Tanya nodded and walked off as Charlie glared at me.

**BELLA**

I'm not going to let you look, if you keep crying," Alice demanded, refusing to let me see myself in the wedding gown.

"I can't help it. I'm just so grateful for everything you've done, this is too much," I said as I dabbed my eyes.

"You sound like Lulu, she was afraid to even put her dress on," Alice said as she angrily crossed her arms.

"Where is she, I want to see her," I said and Alice shook her head back and forth.

"You will only cry if I bring her in here."

"I'm going to cry when I see her no matter when, so let's get it over with," I demanded.

Alice stomped out of the room and I saw Jessica walk past. "Jess," I yelled out and she opened the door to peek in.

"I'm so glad you came," I said as I teared up.

"Don't be too glad, I brought Mike Newton as my date," she said with a frown.

"Isn't he married?" I asked.

"Separated, but he's…decent…in bed," she said with a shrug. "I feel like a disgusting pig."

"You look beautiful, Jess," I said and was a bit peeved she wasn't the one stroking my ego; I was the bride after all.

"I have this huge zit in the middle of my chin, I have horrible cramps, and I'm bloated like a stuffed pig. I was just in the bathroom and this goddess asked to borrow a tampon, she's wearing a belted dress, has flawless skin and has the cutest pink Bruno Magli's heels."

"That's my sister-in-law, how do you think it makes me feel?" I asked her.

"If I didn't know how good Edward was in bed I would tell you to dump him and get out while you can," she said and I truly wanted to beat her with a bat. I was sick of her constantly reminding me she knew my fiancé so intimately, but I was also jealous that I had not experienced his expertise yet.

"You better find a seat, Jess."

"Yeah, okay, you look incredible by the way," she said as she headed out the door.

The next knock brought my father. He was wearing a tux and looked like he was afraid to bend, or breathe deeply. I laughed and gave him a big hug thinking he would be uncomfortable with the display of affection, but he held me tightly when I went to back away.

"I'm happy for you, Bella. I hope you will have a wonderful life with Edward."

I closed my eyes and let his words sink into my heart. His sentiment was the greatest gift he could have given me.

Alice came back and said, "It's time."

I took my father's arm and let him lead me from the room.

**EDWARD**

I stood at the altar with the minister as the music played. Lulu walked out first and I had to cover my mouth when I saw her in the long gold princess gown. She smiled proudly, letting her teeth show and walked smoothly towards me. I knew someday she would be walking toward her own groom and it filled my heart with joy.

Bella entered my sight with Charlie and she took my breath away. Her long dark hair was pulled up on her head with a veil attached in the back. The dress was fitted tightly on her body and pooled around her feet into a long train.

I watched her smile at various people and saw her expression change when she saw Tanya. She swallowed and took a deep breath before locking eyes with me. Her smile widened and her steps quickened. I couldn't stay put and walked forward to meet her.

I held out my hand and she kissed her father before taking my hand and letting me pull her into my arms.

"You are so beautiful," I whispered.

"Did you see Lulu?" she asked and glanced over at the small girl.

"Yes, she's here because you saved her," I said and we both smiled again.

We turned to the officiator and held each other tightly as he married us forever. I wasn't exactly sure what was said. I stared into Bella's eyes and so 'I do' when I was asked a question. Lulu stepped forward to hold Bella's flowers as we exchanged rings.

The bands were simple rings of gold and I felt like the real treasure was the finger I attached it to. When we were pronounced man and wife I kissed her with all the love I felt in my heart.

We turned to face the crowd and everyone clapped for us. The music began to play and I took a step but Bella pulled me to a stop.

**BELLA**

I pulled Edward back to look at me and I spoke softly with a huge smile on my face. "I'm going to give you the best wedding present ever," I said and motioned for Jessica to come forward.

Edward tensed, like he thought I was offering up Jessica as a gift, and Jessica gave me a quick shake of her head, refusing to come forward. I motioned harder and she finally walked cautiously to me. I handed my flowers back to Lulu and took Jessica's hand in mine before turning to Edward.

"Doesn't Jessica look pretty?" I asked him and his eyes darted nervously as if it was a trick question.

"What's going on, Bella?" he asked.

"She thinks she looks bad, all because she has a pimple and she is bloated, but she's wrong, isn't she?" I said and smiled at Jessica.

"Bella?" Edward said in a forceful whisper as if we weren't already the center of attention. The crowd began fidgeting uncomfortably, but I was so unbelievably happy nothing was getting though to my brain.

I put my arm around Jessica and looked at Edward. "She feels badly because another woman here is menstruating, too. Jess, tell Edward who asked you for a tampon," I instructed and Jessica turned slowly and nodded her head toward Tanya.

I had assumed Jessica was talking about Rosalie when she mentioned the goddess, but when I saw Tanya's belted dress and pink shoes my spirit soared.

Edward looked at me with a stunned expression and finally let a smile grow slowly on his face. He turned to Jessica and said, "You look beautiful Jessica, you have nothing to worry about. I also want to thank you for the greatest gift of my life."

"I don't get it," she said hesitantly, looking back and forth between the two of us.

"We will explain later," I told her and retrieved my flowers as I took hold of Edward's arm.

We both began laughing and practically ran down the aisle.

**EDWARD**

I wanted to scream my thanks to God. I was so undeserving of his blessings and he continued to give me my hearts desire. I swung Bella around in a circle before kissing her passionately. People began filtering out of the church and offering congratulations.

I left Bella surrounded by family and made my way to Tanya. I grabbed her arm harshly and pulled her to the side of the church.

"You're hurting me," she said angrily.

"Oh, you have no idea how badly I want to hurt you," I admitted to her face and watched her mouth fall open in protest. "I want you to take a pregnancy test, in front of me."

"I can give you a report from the hospital," she said and crossed her arms.

"Nope, you are going to piss on a stick right in front of me," I demanded.

"I will not," she said in anger.

"Fine, in front of my mother," I offered.

She looked away and refused to answer so I spoke for her, "You are not pregnant, but actually menstruating right now. If you ever come near me again, I will take out a restraining order, and if that doesn't work I will call a local news station and let the public know what kind of pediatrician is treating their children."

Tanya grew so angry her face turned red. She leaned in to speak directly into my eyes and said, "You were mine, and I will not let this go."

"I'm not a pet you get to own, Tanya, grow up and move on."

My father walked around the building to see what was going on and joined us. "Edward, Tanya, is there a problem?"

"Yes, Tanya is not pregnant and I just told her she in not welcome in our home ever again."

Tanya began to cry and my father wrapped his arms around her as I stormed off. I was a bit surprised Tanya went to such lengths to keep us together. I never thought of her as the clingy type but finally realized we were together though all my wild years because she simply refused to let me go.

I found Bella talking with Jake and hurried over to protect what was mine. I was relieved to see he had a woman with him, so I thanked him for coming. The small crowd began heading to my parent's home for dinner and dancing.

I led Bella to my car and helped her fit her dress inside. When I sat I looked over at her smiling face.

"Are you happy Mrs. Cullen?"

"Do we have to go to the reception?"

"We'll make an appearance, and then head off to more important things. "

**BELLA**

I suddenly became a bit nervous. I was not sure I would be able to keep up with Edward in the bedroom and hoped he didn't find me too generic. Jessica had told me in detail about her relationship with the 'hair guy' and I was losing confidence I would be able to keep him happy.

He noticed my hesitation and turned the engine back off. "What's the matter?" he asked as he took my hands in his.

"Nothing, I'm being stupid," I admitted.

"Come on, no secrets, spill your guts," he prompted me.

"I'm just nervous that I'll disappoint you tonight," I said and could feel my face turn red. I heard him chuckle and raised my head to look at him.

"Bella, it's just me and you, not a competitive sport. I think…."

"From what I've heard you're a gold medalist," I said and looked at our hands again.

"Now I'm nervous," he laughed, "I'm sure I won't live up to the undeserved reputation."

We sat in silence for awhile and he finally leaned over and whispered, "Bella, I love you, there is nothing in the world you could ever do to disappoint me."

I pulled him to my lips and kissed him until I lost all thought. I was losing my wish to continue on with the reception and wanted to rip my dress off my overheated body. When he finally pulled away he looked into my eyes as he took labored breaths. "You have nothing to worry about," he said and I could feel his desire for me.

We walked into the large tent in the backyard and I was happy to see everyone enjoying themselves. Edward and I posed for pictures, cut the cake, thanked our guests and even danced awhile. Lulu was in heaven twirling around in her gown. I felt tears in my eyes as I watched her, every little girl should have the ability to twirl.

I finally headed upstairs to change out of my dress and into some wedding sweats Alice purchased. I would have to walk into the hotel dressed in white sweats with the word 'Bride' boldly written across my ass. Edward laughed at how I kept trying to place my hands strategically behind me and whispered in my ear, "You won't have to wear them for long."

He had booked the penthouse suite and the room was covered in roses. We stood on the balcony overlooking the city and toasted to a glass of champagne. He seemed to be waiting for something and my overheated body was not appreciating the wait.

Finally a knock sounded on the door and Edward sent me to open it, so I knew something was up. A member of the hotel staff handed me a small box that was very cold. I opened it to reveal a peanut covered Dove bar with the name Isabella Cullen written in white chocolate.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	19. Chapter 19

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 19

**EDWARD**

I watched her slowly eat the Dove bar and when she offered me a bite I quickly chewed off half of the bar. Her leisurely pace was killing me and I regretted ordering the stupid thing. She finally threw the remaining ice-cream in the trash and kissed me with her cold lips.

My lips quickly warmed hers and I could feel her relaxing in my arms. "The champagne is kicking in," she said in my ear and I wanted to praise God as she removed her own shirt.

I wrapped my arms around her and bent my knees as I slowly kissed my way down her body. She giggled when I reached her bellybutton and tried to pull away. "That tickles," she said and I smiled against her skin.

I ran my fingers up her back and unhooked her strapless bra, letting it fall to the ground between us. I hissed at the sight of her perfect breasts and began using my tongue softly as she moaned. I pushed her onto the bed and she fell with her arms over her head and her eyes closed. I pulled my shirt off and hovered over her, letting our chests touch skin to skin.

"That's amazing," she sighed and I let the weight of my body fall onto hers as my hands came around under her back and pulled her into me.

"I hate to see the 'Bride' pants go," I teased as I brought my hands to her sides and lowered the sweats. I rolled onto my back, bringing her over me and continued removing the pants. "But it is imperative they be gone for what I want to show you."

"I hope you do a lot more than just show me," she said with a breathy voice that sent chills down my spine. I suddenly flipped her again, only quickly this time, and sat up on my knees as I began removing my pants.

She leaned up on her elbows to watch me and smiled, "We have an issue to clear up."

"Of course, the elusive piercing," I laughed and continued to stare at her while I removed my pants.

She looked a bit nervous and I saw her eyes move back and forth from my hands to my eyes. I pushed the material down my thighs and watched as her eyes focused and her smile grew. "Is that a bead?" she asked.

"A diamond on a twelve gauge ring, I got it just for our wedding," I said with pride.

"Do you have to remove it before we….you know?" she asked and turned red.

I laughed loudly, "Leaving it is the whole point of having it, you'll see."

**BELLA**

At first I had no idea what he meant, how was a large smooth stone hooked to a metal ring supposed to do anything? I quickly caught on as he moved himself up and down the most sensitive spot on my body. I was quickly turning to mush and we hadn't even done anything yet.

"Edward, please," I called out.

"Un uh, you can still speak," he said and began moving his hands, too.

The soles of my feet were moving back and forth on the sheets as my hands clenched the material in my fists. He never let up and my entire body began to shake as I struggled to breath. "Oh God," I cried out and felt his mouth move to my ear.

"No, Bella, not God, say my name," he breathed and I arched back, pushing off the mattress with my feet as I screamed out Edward's name. It was then he finally got serious and I could feel the ring as he moved. I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked him tightly in my grasp.

"Let me move," he said as he struggled to talk.

"Un uh, I'll do it," I said and his head dropped onto my shoulder. I rolled us and he grabbed onto the headboard, which was luckily attached to the wall. His entire body clinched and he yelled out angrily, "Bella, let me move."

I leaned back locking him to the mattress and moved slowly, feeling the ring all the better. I was making noises I never knew I could make as the feeling built to a frenzied level. I had to let my head fall back just to get enough oxygen. I took my time and let the union last as long as possible, until my small movements sent Edward screaming against his arm as he bit down on his own muscle.

I suddenly fell forward and grabbed his chest as my entire body exploded into pieces; at least that was what it felt like. I was crying loudly as I tried to come back to my senses. Edward was lying motionless underneath me, his arms and legs limp and spread eagle on the bed.

I fell to his side and tried to move my hair off of my sweaty face. Edward raised his head and looked at me. "What the hell, Bella."

"Don't talk to me right now, I have no blood going to my brain," I laughed and he slowly pulled me into his arms.

"Shit, I'm embarrassed, I just got schooled by a nun," he said sounding winded.

"And you thought all they taught us at the convent was how to pray," I said and he laughed loudly.

"I love you more every day," he said sweetly and I couldn't believe I was married to the most wonderful man I could have ever met.

We lay in the dark talking about everything from our favorite movies to our future. It was then he finally brought up the subject of Tanya. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said softly.

"I thought Jessica was talking about Rosalie, but when I saw her dress had an empire waist I wondered if it could have been Tanya," I explained and thanked God for the chance run in with Jessica.

"Let's take a shower," Edward said and pulled me to my feet, "Let me redeem myself."

And he did.

**EDWARD**

I was watching Bella sleep as the sun broke through the windows. Her lips were puckered out a bit and her hair had dried into wild curls. She was lying on her stomach and taking up the entire bed. I used a strand of her hair to run over her face. Her hand quickly slapped it away and she turned her head to the other direction.

I went to the other side and repeated the action. "Cut it out," she yelled as her eyes remained closed.

"Wake up, I'm bored," I complained.

"Go play with yourself in the shower," she mumbled.

"Fine, I will," I said and headed to the bathroom.

"Wait," she yelled, "Come give me a massage, I'm sore as hell."

I laughed at how her sentence sounded and said, "Hum…should I remove the ring."

She raised her head and looked at me with only one eye open. "I think the yoga in the shower was more of an issue than the cute little ring."

"That hurts my pride," I laughed. "Cute _little_ ring."

"No, I said huge cattle ring," she corrected and I rewarded her with back rub.

She was totally relaxed when I asked her about Uganda. "Bella, I think we should go to Uganda right away. I think if we wait other things will get in the way."

"Like babies?" she asked and I smiled at the thought. "Well, I meant our babies, not your babies."

I pretended to choke her and she laughed before turning over to kiss me. We spent our honeymoon in San Diego and tried to pack everything into four days. I could tell Bella was enjoying the togetherness much more than the sightseeing. Every time I looked in her eyes I saw nothing but love. This was what movies and music tried so hard to capture. This was what my mother had talked about, sex without love was empty.

**BELLA**

We announced to the family our plans to return to Uganda when we returned from our honeymoon. Everyone took it well except Lulu. She began to cry and walked over to sit on Edward's lap.

"We'll be very careful Lulu, and we are staying in the big city," he said as he stroked her cheek.

"Edward, it is not a place for you," she said sadly.

"We want to help make it a place for everyone. Most of the Ugandan people are like you, Lulu, and we think you are amazing," he said to soothe her, but she continued to object. I was sure it was the trauma of losing her family and maybe she would understand when she got older.

We were sponsored by the Red Cross and a human rights advocacy group. Just three short weeks later we were ready to head back to a place that almost ruined us forever. Edward spent his last day working long hours at the clinic and I made sure everything was packed and ready to go.

I pulled up to the Cullen's house and saw Tanya's car. I knew she would pull one last trick to keep Edward, but I was ready to take her on. I walked into the house just as she came down the stairs.

"What are you doing here when nobody's home?" I asked with authority.

"This was my home longer than it's been yours, so relax," she said hatefully.

"What do you want?" I crossed my arms and blocked her path from entering the main part of the house.

"I came to tell Edward goodbye," she said and matched my pose.

"In his bedroom?"

"That's usually how Edward says goodbye," she laughed and I felt a bit of jealousy build up inside of me.

"Not anymore," I seethed.

"Well, have fun in…where is it you're running off to in order to keep Edward's eyes from wandering?"

"His eyes don't have to wander, I keep him satisfied," I added to dig it in a bit, but there was a small portion of my soul which felt he was too….everything. Too good looking, too smart, too funny, too sexy and too loving for me.

She obviously felt it too. She chuckled and sighed, "Oh, the ignorance of the ignorant. Again, have fun."

I watched her walk out the door and pulled my hands out of the tight fists they were making. Tomorrow we would be in Uganda and Tanya would only be a distant memory.

**EDWARD**

I had to admit I was excited to be returning to a country so beautiful, but terrified to be itself. It was being ripped apart from the inside out and the safer places in the world turned a blind eye. The people were sweet and good natured but evil had infiltrated their country and made them hesitant and closed off.

I wasn't worried about taking Bella to Kampala. She would be safe in a city so controlled by the government army. If we were harassed at all a simple bribe would return things to normal. I was giddy with excitement when we finally boarded the plane.

We travelled to Germany and then switched flights to Uganda. Bella and I made plans the whole way and had a pretty detailed outline of everything we needed to do in order to have everything up and running.

I waited for Bella to use the restroom in the Kampala airport and we headed to get our bags. "You get the duffle bags and I'll get the backpack," I said as a joke.

"You wuss, I'm trading you in for a strong man," she teased and I put my arm around her neck and kissed her in front of the passengers waiting for bags to snake their way around the old luggage belt.

We were going to live in a small apartment in the Nsambya hill area of Kampala, next to the large hospital. The training clinic would be on hospital grounds and allow the students real life experience. Bella was excited to be so close to St. Peter's cathedral where she would be able to attend mass.

I saw the duffle bags drop onto the belt and let her out of my arms to find an opening where I could grab them. Bella walked around to the far side of the carrier and scooted her way into the crowd to grab the back pack. She placed it on her arms and was headed to where I was dragging the large bags. I watched her smile at the various people she had to cut through.

A man in a uniform stepped in front of Bella and when she tried to go around him another guard stepped in her way. I noticed airport security descending on the place and one of the men grabbed Bella's arm.

I dropped the bags and began pushing my way through the crowd towards her. She began trying to fight with the men and screamed my name.

"Bella," I yelled as I ran toward the spot the men were dragging her from.

"Edward, help," she screamed and was quickly pushed to the floor with a gun to her head.

"Usifanye hivyo," I yelled telling them to stop. A couple of the men turned to look at me and quickly spun around to keep me back. "Bibi Mwalimu," I said telling them she was a teacher.

They pulled the backpack off of her and turned it upside down. I watched in shock as they cut open the bottom of the bag and white powder fell onto the ground.

**BELLA**

I didn't understand what was going on. I must have picked up the wrong bag. I tried to tell them over and over again it wasn't mine, and I could hear Edward yelling in Swahili. A guard pulled small clear bags filled with white powder from the bottom of the pack and handed me a piece of paper, which had a cut through the middle where they had sliced the pack open. I looked at the paper, covered in a powdery substance, and read, _Have fun, Bella._

I looked at Edward in shock and yelled, "Tanya."

His eyes grew wide and he began speaking very quickly in Swahili but nobody would listen to him. I was grabbed by my arms and pulled away. I kicked and screamed and begged for help. As soon as we were out of the airport I was punched forcefully in the stomach and vomited onto the dirt ground.

A man stepped forward and brought the butt of a gun down on my head and I felt the darkness close in on me.

I woke up in a dark room. My head was pounding and I instantly began to cry from the pain. I couldn't sit up and looked around the stark dirty walls. I could smell a foul urine scent and realized it was coming from the thin mattress I was lying on. I pushed my arms up and saw I was wearing a dirty prison dress, covered in stains and blood.

The mattress rested on a metal bed frame with two cubbies at the end for books or supplies. I caught something move out of the corner of my eye and looked over to see two rats scurrying along the wall. I jumped onto the mattress and moved to sit on the metal frame with my feet pulled up on the cubbies. My back was leaning against one wall and my right side was against another.

I felt something crawl in my hair and screamed when I pulled a cockroach free and tossed it to the ground. The rats ran after it. My entire body was shaking and when I closed my eyes to pray, no comfort came.

**EDWARD **

I crawled over to the spot where they had opened the backpack and found the powder that fell to the ground. It was soft and had a medicinal smell; it was some sort of talcum, not cocaine. I waited for the crowd to thin and ran over to get my duffle back. I pulled out my shaving kit and used swabs to pick up the excess powder. I wrapped the swabs in a baggie and hurried outside to catch a cab.

I headed directly to the embassy only to find out they couldn't do anything unless I had a police report. I was told to return to the airport and call the police. Once at the airport I was told I couldn't report a crime against Bella, since she was the one committing a crime. I knew Tanya had alerted airport officials about the supposed drugs, but I couldn't prove anything.

I rushed back to the embassy and was told to fill out a pile of papers and they would try to find out when she would be brought up for arraignment.

I sat outside the building on the curb as I worked on the papers. My hands were shaking violently and I knew I needed help. I pulled out my phone with international access and called my father. He was going to contact the embassy in Washington and see what he could do there. I asked him to call anyone he could think of for help and then gave him the message I wanted out the most.

"Tell Tanya when I see her, I'm going to kill her," I said as tears fell from my eyes.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	20. Chapter 20

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 20

**EDWARD**

Time moved slowly and I got the same story everywhere I turned, people were working on it, be patient, they were trying to get me visitation, but I couldn't sit and wait.

I would make phone calls all day, as I sat outside the courthouse hoping I would see them bring Bella in for arraignment, but she never came. I wasn't even sure where she was being held. I would sit inside the large cathedral at night and pray for Bella. I kept a candle lit and began slowly losing my mind.

Jasper walked up to me one evening as I stared up at the statue of Christ. I wasn't even surprised to see him. I looked at his sad face and nodded. He sat next to me and put his arm over my back. I leaned my head on his shoulder and whispered, "Why did she do this?"

"We never thought she would be capable of something so horrendous," he said softly. "But just so you know, Rose beat the shit out of her." Jasper looked around the church and mumbled, "Sorry."

"I'm not leaving with you," I told him incase he was sent to bring me home.

"I'm here to help, what do you need?"

"I need Bella," I said and began to softly cry.

"Have you seen her?"

I shook my head against his shoulder and couldn't force the word from my mouth.

"My father's pressuring Washington, D.C. She's making news back home, so hopefully something will break," he said to give me hope.

"I can't get them to test the samples. It isn't drugs, but they won't listen."

"Edward, the embassy says it is not a drug case, but a subversion of government case."

I closed my eyes tightly. I could prove her innocent of drug trafficking, but this was a way they could lock her away forever.

**BELLA**

It was two days before anyone came to check on me. I slept on top of the headboard and only walked on the floor when the rats would scurry under the door and into the hallway. I could hear loud screams during the days and distant crying during the nights.

When someone finally opened the rusty metal door, a tray with food and water was slid across the floor. I hurried to grab it before the rats could come, but the water was brown and the bread was moldy. I tried to pick off the green lumps and eat what I could, and forced myself to drink the dirty water. I didn't try to eat the stew, having no idea what the meat portions were.

The door opened an hour later and a man walked over to get the tray. He smiled at me and licked his lips so I pulled into a ball and looked away from him. He let his fingers go through my bloody matted hair and I winced and shut my eyes.

He said a couple of words in another language and when his hands ran up my filthy prison dress I screamed and moved off of the bed and against the far wall. He laughed and walked towards me. "No," I begged him. "Please God, help me."

**EDWARD**

I finally received word a human rights official would be able to visit with Bella. I hoped I would be allowed in with him, but only a priest could come. I had Jasper get Father Busara and bring him to Kampala. I knew Bella would trust him and he would be able to tell truthfully how she was doing.

We drove to the prison and the large building looked modern and well maintained. I had hope she was being treated well. The two men went inside and returned four hours later. I was having a hard time keeping my composure. I hadn't seen Bella for over two weeks now and I needed any morsel of information they could give me.

When the two men walked into the large reception area I could tell something awful had happened to Bella. Neither man would look at me; I had to grab onto Jasper for support. I was led to a small room and asked to sit. Why would they ask me to sit? My reason for breathing was kept from me and they wanted me to sit.

I leaned against a wall for support as Jasper asked them questions.

"Is she being abused?" he asked.

"I doubt she is being kept here at this facility. She can't tolerate the light and her skin looks extremely pale," the aid worker said and Father Busara shook his head lightly.

"Is she being fed?" he asked and I closed my eyes.

"No enough, she is very thin," the Priest answered.

"Stop mincing words, tell me what you found out," I yelled loudly.

"Okay, honestly, she has been beaten severely, she is dehydrated and malnourished. I can't say if she has been raped or not. She doesn't focus on conversation and mumbles prayers to herself as she uses an invisible rosary. I believe she thinks she is still a nun," the workers said bluntly as my world shattered around me.

"What can we do?" Jasper asked.

"I'll file a complaint and we will see if a judge will get her moved to a better facility," the man said and it took all of my control not to choke the life out of him.

I fled the room and was caught by Father Busara just outside the prison. "Edward, there are things you can do, you can pay the prison to bring her here. You can pay for her food and care by getting the money to the right people. Come with me," he said and led me back into the building.

**BELLA**

"Onward Christian Soldiers marching as to war… marching, marching, marching, march, it will rain in March and it gets too wet to play…I mean pray, I need to pray, O Lord, hear my cry pouring out from a troubled heart. The sorrow which clutches at my soul has driven me to You my protector, my True Friend in time of need…need…I don't need anything….I'm not here, shhh…."

**EDWARD**

The old priest led me down a long hallway and knocked lightly on a door. We entered a room where lush mahogany furniture sat among the brightly painted walls. A man smoking a cigar stood and welcomed us into his office.

"My friend would like to make a donation to the fine facility you run here," the Priest said with a smile and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Have a seat, I will now consider you my friend, also," the warden said with a smile.

"He is particularly interested in the woman's portion of the prison, where his wife is held," the Priest continued.

"And what is it you would like to donate?" I was asked directly.

"As much money as it would take to make sure she has plenty of food and none of the guards touch her," I said with a forceful voice.

"4,480,800 Uganda Shilling," he offered and I knew it was around two thousand US dollars. "A week."

"Fine, I'll have it to you by the end of the day," I said and he smiled.

"The bills must be newer than 2003," he said and I quickly held up my hand to stop him from explaining. I knew all about the newer bills being harder to duplicate.

"I want proof she is here," I said and he quickly nodded.

"She is here now; we will keep her for you."

"I want to speak to her when I return with the money," I bargained and he smiled as he nodded.

We found Jasper waiting out front and I explained what was going on. We headed to a bank and began the daunting task of transferring money. It took us two hours to get the first payment and I hurried back to the prison. I handed the man the money and he counted it slowly as he inspected every bill.

He finally rose and gave a toss of his head for me to follow him.

I waited in a small holding room for forty five minutes. Bella was led into the room with wet hair and smelling of soap, they had obviously cleaned her up to see me.

Her eyes were completely blank and when I pulled her into my arms she stood limply and didn't hug me back.

I lifted her bridal style and walked over to sit in a chair as I held her on my lap. "Bella," I cried into her hair. "It's me, it's Edward."

"Edward," she repeated and then kept saying my name over and over with no emotion.

"I love you," I sobbed.

"O my Savior, hide not Your Face from me in this tribulation, let the light of Your Countenance shine upon me that I may be illuminated by Its love….love…love," she mumbled.

I rocked her in my arms as she began several prayers but never finished one. A word would catch her attention and she would repeat it constantly. My heart was torn and bleeding in my chest and I began to wonder if she would ever be well again.

"Shhhh," she said softly, "I'm not here."

"You're here with me, love. You're here in my arms. I'll take care of you, like Lulu's leg, I'll feel you with me always."

"Lulu," she said with a long sigh. "Lulu has a leg but she doesn't like the mall."

"That's right, Bella. She was in our wedding, she wore a gold dress like the sunset."

"She twirled," Bella said and a smile grew on her face.

"Come back to me," I begged her as I kissed her face leaving my wet tears on her cheeks.

**BELLA**

It was summer and I was supposed to be home for dinner, but I wanted to play with Lauren longer. When it got dark I tried to use a short cut through the forest. I lost my way quickly and sat crying against a tree as the huge forest made terrifying sounds.

I heard people yelling my name and I cried out for help. "I'm here, I'm right here," I yelled.

Sam Uley found me and when he took me to my mother she cried on my face as she kissed me. I reached up and wiped the wet tears away and tried to reassure my scared mother.

"I'm okay, I'll never walk through the woods again," I promised.

"Bella, it's Edward," she said back to me.

Edward, he wasn't there. He was far away stitching up the wounds from rabid dogs.

"He doesn't have the immune globulin," I told her and she cried harder.

**EDWARD**

She was locked inside her mind and I had to find a way to get through to her. I placed my mouth next to her ear and began telling her about us. She stopped mumbling and listened intently to what I had to say.

"I saw you on the bus, I didn't know you were a nun, you were too pretty to be a nun. I fell in love with you when you cared for the small baby. You placed him in a box on the stove and kept the oven warm."

"Her others died," Bella mumbled.

"But not this one, you save it for her. You slept down the hall from me and we talked every night. You told me about Forks and how much you wanted to help people. You studied to be a nurse and you joined a convent."

"I took my vows," she whispered.

"You came to Uganda and met Edward," I said as my emotion kept me from continuing.

"Edward, he's so beautiful," she sighed.

"Edward loves you so much, he wants you to look at him, and talk to him."

"I'll tell him after the wedding, there is no baby, just my love. I'll tell him, after."

"You told him, and he made love to you, remember?"

"It wasn't mine…they said I did it, but I didn't do anything."

"You're innocent," I said forcefully.

She sat quietly for a few minutes and finally began trying to brush imaginary bugs from her body. "Get them off," she screamed as she swiped at her legs. "They are crawling on me, get them off."

"No, love, they're gone, they're all gone," I said harshly to convince her.

She suddenly pushed off of my chest and backed up to a far wall as she held out her hands. "Don't touch me," she screamed.

I had my biggest fear realized and I fell onto my knees as I sobbed from the bleeding wound in my chest. I cried out forcefully as I pulled into a tight tuck around my knees. My fists beat on the floor, for lack of anything better to hit, as I cried loudly.

I felt a soft touch on my back and then two arms slid around me.

**BELLA**

I felt like my body was controlled by a dimmer switch and someone was slowly illuminating my life. I pulled from the darkness and slowly walked into the light. I looked down to see Edward on the floor and his pain was so intense it propelled me forward.

I knelt down to comfort him, wrapping my arms around his heaving body. "Don't be sad, Edward," I whispered to him. "Tell me and I'll fix it, don't be sad."

He grabbed me into his arms and rocked us back and forth on the floor as his cries grew louder. I didn't recognize the room but my memories began coming into focus and I knew I was in serious trouble.

"Edward, will they let me go?" I asked him.

"I'm working on it," he cried. "I got you moved here, where they'll feed you and protect you."

"Why are they doing this?" I asked and he finally raised his head to look at me.

"I think it has to do with money, Tanya paid them, but now I've paid them to keep you safe and I'll figure out a way to get your out of here."

"Don't leave me here," I begged him as terror took over my body, "Edward, take me with you."

"Oh God," he screamed out and I clung to him as tightly as I could.

I couldn't go back into that dark cell, where the rats tormented me and the bugs crawled onto my body. I couldn't listen to the cries anymore, knowing what was happening. I had begged God to help me and he sent me far away in my mind so I could make it through each day, but I had Edward right in front of me and I couldn't fathom going back to that cell.

He took my face in his hands and I stared into his terrified eyes. "Bella, you are safe here, but I'll get you out, okay. Do you trust me?"

I nodded and tried to swallow the fear back down. He kissed me on the lips and I melted into his arms. When the door finally opened I used the last remaining ounce of bravery I had and left the room where Edward stayed in tears.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	21. Chapter 21

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 21

**EDWARD**

I came up with a plan and knew I was risking mine and Jasper's lives by taking this risk, but I had to get Bella out of that hell hole. I was going to take her home and never leave the safety of Seattle again. My need to save the world ended when I had to save Bella.

I would happily work with my father at the hospital and have babies with Bella as we paid bills and lived a boring life. But I had to get her out of this country first.

"How do I look?" Jasper asked when he walked into the room wearing a Priest's cassock. He had dyed his hair black, so his blonde hair wouldn't stand out. He broke into laughter when he saw me dressed in a Nun's habit.

"Shut up," I said and adjusted the head piece making sure my hair wasn't sticking out.

"Are you wearing a bra?" he asked in shock.

"I need breasts, how else to you suppose I get them? Now, you have the wig and the money?" I asked him and he nodded.

I checked the passport and had to hope we could make it through customs using a very short wig for Bella. We both took a deep breath and headed out to the car we borrowed from the church.

When we came into the building I kept my head down and Jasper spoke the words I had taught him, asking to see Bella for religious counsel. We were escorted to a small room where I quickly removed the habit and bra, and headed back to the desk in my regular clothes.

"I have a payment for the Warden, is he in?" I whispered. I was quickly taken back down the long hallway to his plush office. I gave him double the money this time and he slowly counted it as usual.

"Do you want your wife brought in?" he asked me.

"I'll wait in the lobby, she is with her Priest," I said and left the room.

I waited outside in the car as my entire body shook with fear.

**BELLA**

I was brought into a room where I hoped to find Edward, but only a Priest was waiting for me. I was being fed two decent meals a day and actually allowed to walk around the facility without being bothered. I wanted to let Edward know he could stop worrying so much, but maybe the Priest would tell him.

"Would you like to confess you sins?" the man laughed and I looked closer to see it was Jasper. I screamed and threw my arms around him.

"Why are you here?" I laughed and pulled away to see his costume. "I've died and this is hell, isn't it?"

"Sister, I'm hurt," he said and pretended to make the sign of the cross at me.

"Is Edward okay?" I asked suddenly worried why Jasper would come alone.

He reached under his robe and pulled out the bra and costume and handed it to me. "I wish you could have seen him in the bra, he makes a very ugly woman."

"What's this for?" I asked.

"We're going home, get dressed," he instructed and I felt my hands go numb.

"They're letting me go?"

"No, we're taking you home, hurry and put that on."

I was shaking so badly he had to help me with the headdress. Japer walked over to the door and peeked into the hallway. "Okay, take long strides and try to walk awkwardly, like Edward."

I was about to protest when he opened the door and stepped into the hallway. I quickly followed and kept my head down as we simply walked out the front door of the prison. We climbed in the running car and Edward slowly pulled away.

As soon as we turned the corner we all started screaming and bouncing up and down. Jasper threw off the robe and I removed the habit. He handed me a short wig and I quickly put it on. He shook his hands through his hair to give it a younger look instead of the slicked back hair of an older man.

I changed into jeans and a t-shirt and we all walked into the airport as if we didn't have a care in the world. I refused to look at the many security guards for fear of seeing recognition in their eyes. I would make them shoot me before returning to that awful place.

Jasper checked our luggage and nobody seemed to be suspicious of us. I knew going through security would be the difficult part, but we breezed right though. I didn't let my guard down until the plane raised high into the air. It was only then I truly believed I was free.

**EDWARD**

I covered me and Bella with a blanket and she snuggled up against me. I couldn't keep myself from touching her and kissing her constantly. She looked into my eyes with tears and said, "I'm so sorry, Edward."

"For what," I said wanting her to know she had nothing to be sorry for.

"You wanted to help the villages and I have made it impossible for you," she said sadly.

"Bella, nothing matters except you, as long as we are together, I'm happy."

"You saved me," she said and smiled up at me.

"I wish it could have happened sooner, I'm sorry you had to go through such hell," I confessed.

"We need to talk about Tanya," she said as her jaw tightened. "I don't know if I can forgive her."

His eyes widened and his own jaw clenched, "Don't give it a second thought. I don't plan on offering her any forgiveness."

"Edward, tell me about your relationship with her, how did it start?"

"God, Bella, I don't want to talk about her," I said feeling bile rise up in my throat.

"I just want to know so I can figure out why she did this to me. I mean I get that she wanted to keep your relationship, but you don't do something this evil to keep a guy who cheated constantly," I pointed out and hoped he didn't feel like I was blaming him for Tanya's treachery.

"Our families knew each other for years. When I was in college we hooked up, she felt it was true love and I thought it was just an easy lay. I don't even know how we ended up in a relationship, I guess I was afraid to cause problems in the family, but it was never monogamous on my end. I know that sounds callous but I really don't give a damn right now."

"We need to decide how we are going to handle all of this. Obviously we have no legal recourse, we can't expect guards in Uganda to come testify against her," she pointed out.

"I can't see her right away; I am seriously worried about what I will do if I see her when we get home."

I felt angry just talking about it. I knew we were both going to need some help getting over this experience and I hoped our marriage could survive the hardships ahead, but I knew with our loving families around us we stood a chance.

**BELLA**

When we landed in Germany our names were called out and we were escorted from the plane. I was terrified we were all going to be returned to Uganda and put back in prison. Instead we were met by American embassy officials. They separated us and took a statement from us all.

I was assured I would not be returned to Uganda and told, 'welcome home' several times after being told to keep everything close to the cuff. They instructed me to only mention the abuse in broad terms and tell everyone I had been found not guilty and released.

When we were united again I was stunned to find all the camera crews lined up to speak to us. Edward told me not to say a word until we got home and had legal counsel. I was more than happy to use the 'no comment' line.

We were put on a private jet offered by the amnesty group we were going to be working for and flown to Seattle like rock stars. I was able to sleep most of the way, but every time I opened my eyes I found Edward staring at me.

"Go to sleep," I mumbled.

"I will," he said as he held my hand tightly in his. It was just what I needed. Edward would stand watch over me as I slept safely at his side.

We landed in Seattle in the middle of the night and I was grateful for the darkness as we ran for Carlisle's waiting car. When we got home my parents were waiting and rushed out to the car to descend upon me.

It felt great to be surrounded by love but the thing I wanted most in the world was a hot shower and clean clothes.

I headed up to Edward's room as he answered questions; I didn't want to hear the details just yet. I made the shower as hot as I could stand it and stood under the spray, looking at my skeletal body covered with bruises and I began to cry. Flashes and Images were running through my mind and I could no longer keep them at bay.

I heard the door open and looked up to see Edward. He glanced at my body and closed his eyes in pain. "I'm sorry," I said in shame and he shook his head. He waited for me to finish and held a towel open for me to step into.

He wrapped me up and pulled me to his chest. "I love you," he whispered and I raised my head to look at him.

"Edward, can you kiss me, like you used to when I wasn't so ruined?" I asked as my tears fell.

He smiled softly and put his hands in my wet hair. "You aren't ruined, Bella, you are still my beautiful bride and the sight of you sends my heart racing." He brought his mouth to mine and then moaned as he tightened his arms around me.

He didn't escalate anything, but I could feel his love and desire and I felt a bit more whole. He helped me dry my hair and I laid down with him on his bed. He ran his fingers up and down my arm and quickly fell asleep. I dozed off and on until the sun rose and climbed out of bed and dressed.

Edward was out cold and I took his keys from the dresser and headed downstairs. I looked in the pantry and saw a box of Lucky Charms and burst into tears. The sugary cereal meant I was home and I could eat whatever I wanted. I poured a big bowl and ate in total bliss.

I hurried out to Edward's car and removed the tarp we had covered it with. Nobody in the house was stirring yet and I knew they would most likely sleep until noon. I backed out of the driveway and headed into the city.

It was easy to pick out which key belonged to the apartment door. Luckily, Tanya had not changed the locks. I entered quietly and could hear the shower running. I sat down in a large recliner and waited.

**EDWARD**

I woke up to the smell of coffee and headed downstairs hoping to find Bella; instead I found my parents and the Swans. I poured a cup and sat with them at the table.

"How's Bella?" I asked them and they all looked at me in confusion.

"We haven't seen her," they said.

"I saw a bowl in the sink and the cereal was out, so she must have been up to eat," my mother informed me. I nodded and tried not to act concerned or hurt that she would get up and leave without letting me know where she was going.

"I'm sure she went to church," Renee said and I nodded in agreement.

I hoped she would find some peace and I planned on making my own pilgrimage later today. I ate a yogurt and toast and smiled when Emmett and Rosalie showed up with Corbin. He was talking now and using his favorite word, "no," whenever Rosalie asked him anything.

The conversation finally came around to Tanya. "Son, I've talked to her mother Kate and they are very distraught over the whole thing," my mother said.

"She's not mentally stable and they need to lock her away," I said with disgust.

"Edward, made her crazy," Emmett laughed and I kicked his leg under the table.

"How's Bella doing?" Rose asked and the mood turned somber.

"She'll need some help," I admitted and Rosalie nodded and wiped a tear.

"Maybe you should talk to her, babe?" Emmett said softly and I noticed a glance between the two of them.

"Any help would be appreciated," I told her and wondered if Rosalie had her own trauma she had worked through.

"Sure," she said softly, "Where is she?"

"I don't know, she slept most of the flight home so she was up early and left. I think she went to mass."

Rosalie looked around nervously and asked, "She wouldn't go to Tanya's would she?"

**BELLA**

I sat in the chair and listened as she dried her hair and dressed for the day. I could smell the perfume she sprayed on her body and listened as she dug through her closet for the proper shoes. She finally headed down the hallway without looking to the side and headed into the kitchen.

I listened as she made a protein shake and called the office to listen to her messages. After about half an hour in the kitchen she came around the corner to head to the front door. She took a couple of stuttered steps and looked at me with wide eyes.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked with fear in her voice.

I smiled and remained seated, "I'm here to even the score."

"Get out," she said forcefully, but I could hear the shaking in her voice.

"Sit down," I instructed her.

She remained standing and raised her chin, letting me know she was not going to be ordered around. I wondered at that moment what she would have done in the cesspool prison she condemned me to. I wondered if she would fight the rats for food, and if she would be willing to sleep with the roaches. Her bravado was evident only because she didn't know what hell was like. Her world was comfortable and clean. She sent me to hell just so she could keep what she selfishly thought was hers.

My anger boiled up as I remembered the beatings, and the rapes, and the starvation. I listened to people being violated over and over again in the darkness of that cement cell. I had to look into my husband's eyes and see pain so deep, I wasn't sure he could ever recover from it.

I stood and raised my own chin. I looked her right in the eyes and said with as much force as possible, "Sit down, or I will knock you down."

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	22. Chapter 22

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 22

**EDWARD**

I had never considered Bella would take on Tanya. She almost seemed to be trying to forgive her on the plane, but maybe she was only searching for an ounce of humanity worth sparing her for. I looked at the clock and realized Tanya would be on her way to work.

I grabbed the kitchen phone and dialed her number. Her service picked up and told me Tanya had called in for messages but had not arrived at work yet. I began to worry Bella was going to make a grave mistake that would really cost her freedom.

I grabbed my mother's keys off the hook by the door and ran to her car. The morning traffic was so heavy and I was watching the minutes fly off the digital clock in the car. My frustration was causing me to beat the steering wheel with my hand.

I began to wonder if I was the right person to stop Bella from doing anything to Tanya. I wanted my own revenge on her and would be willing to hurt her to appease Bella. I began trembling as I thought about everything Bella had been through all because of me.

She came to Uganda as a nun to help people, and I ended up ruining her life, because I wanted her so badly. I wondered if she would ever be able to truly forgive me. I felt sick and looked up at the sky to see the sun poking through the clouds, sending rays of light fingering over the city.

I prayed I would have the strength to think of Bella for once and do the right thing when I faced Tanya.

**BELLA**

Tanya finally took a seat in the chair across from me and said, "Rosalie already defended your honor, so you can leave now."

"I want you to tell me why, Tanya. I want you to tell me the absolute truth, because if you lie to me, I can't be responsible for how I'll respond."

"You took him from me, without caring how I felt and you expect me to feel sorry for you?" she said angrily.

"He left you when he found out I still loved him, he chose, I didn't take anything."

"Edward always comes back, he isn't capable of choosing, he messes around and then comes back."

There was a time I would have believed her reasoning, but Edward proved his loyalty by rescuing me from prison. I would never spend a moment of my life doubting his love for me.

"Are you sure he wasn't just living his life, and you were always there when he happened to be unattached? That isn't a relationship, it is called being a psycho, obsessive, bitch."

"The only reason he looked twice at you was the whole conquest of a virginal nun."

I laughed loudly at the idea of being considered virginal. I was the shame of Forks, they girl who found sex worth worshiping more than God. But she still hadn't answered my question and I wasn't here to play games with her.

"Why didn't you wait for Edward to tire of me and come back, if you were so sure it would happen?"

"I was so close to getting him to marry me; we were going to start a family, until you ruined it."

I looked at her dressed in an expensive suit, manicured nails and Italian shoes, and wondered why she wouldn't simply move on to another man. She had wasted years on Edward and it didn't make sense.

"Why him, you are a beautiful woman, surely men were chasing you. Why did you want a guy who simply tolerated you?" I asked truly wanting an answer.

Her eyes darted back and forth and she squirmed in her seat. "I want you out of my house," she said angrily.

"No, you're going to listen to me, Tanya. You sent me to hell and now you're going to hear all about it. Imagine rats crawling up to bite on your flesh, just wanting a taste, to see if you are something to eat, to dull the ache of an empty stomach. And then you find yourself having the exact same thought about the rodents. Imagine bugs crawling on your body, not knowing if you are just part of the furniture they need to move across, or if the warm folds of your skin are where they can nest. They become tangled in your hair, because the dried blood tastes sweet to them."

She winced and looked away, unable to meet my gaze, but I continued. "Imagine being fed meat which could very possibly be either rats or other humans who you hear screaming out for help through the thick cement walls. Imagine looking at the guard, when he enters your cell, and knowing if he is there to beat you, or rape you, just by the way he smiles."

"And finally, imagine the only thing that keeps you alive is the desire for that one moment, one little minute, with the person who put you there. Can you imagine that Tanya?"

"Do you want me to say I'm sorry?" she asked.

"Say you're sorry?" I gasped, "No, I don't want you to say you're sorry. Sorry just doesn't cut it in this instance."

"What do you want?" she asked with a nervous laugh.

"I want you to die."

Tanya paled and looked like she was about the cry, but I didn't care. It was the reaction I was hoping to get.

**EDWARD**

I finally made it to the apartment complex and parked illegally out front. I ran to the door and knocked loudly as I yelled out for Bella.

"Edward, help me," Tanya called out and I tried the door to find it open.

I ran inside and found both women sitting in chairs facing each other. I had expected to find a crime scene or a major fight going on, but they were only sitting across from each other.

"She's insane," Tanya yelled and Bella simply looked at me.

"Bella, love, what are you doing here?" I asked softly.

"She threatened my life," Tanya yelled and I turned to face her.

I pointed at her, with my hand shaking from rage and yelled, "You shut your mouth, don't say a word or I swear to God, I will kill you myself."

I turned my attention back to Bella and knelt next to her chair. "Let's go, love," I said and held out my hand for hers.

"Edward, she has to pay," she said with a soft voice and eyes I didn't recognize.

"She's not worth it, let me take you home. We'll call Father Mark and tell him all about what happened," I said as my own tears began to fall.

She leaned forward so she could speak directly into my eyes and said, "There's no absolution for what she's done. I can't just let it go. She has to pay, by going to hell."

"So what are you going to do, kill her? It would put you back in prison and I can't go on without you. I need you, or I have to die, too," I told her honestly.

"If she dies it will all die with her, it will go away if she goes away forever," she said emphatically as her tears fell. "Edward, it has to be this way, can't you see it?"

"No, love, it will go away forever if we love each other no matter what. We'll get the help we need and we will face it together." I wondered if I would be able to convince her to just walk out the door, and began preparing myself for the possibility of having to remove her by force.

Bella turned to look at Tanya and shook her head slowly. "If I don't kill you, you will continue to come after us."

"No, I'm done messing with you both, I don't love Edward anymore. He's yours, I don't want him," Tanya begged her.

Bella stood and Tanya cowered back further into the chair. I wrapped my arms around Bella incase she decided to lunge at Tanya. She stared with wild eyes and I had to take hold of her chin to make her look at me. "Let's go home," I said and waited for her to nod in approval.

I led her from the room, and when we got to my car, we saw Tanya jump in hers and speed away.

Bella turned to look into my worried eyes. She was so beautiful, even with the much too thin face which made her eyes large and haunting. A smile grew slowly and she wiggled her eyebrows before saying, "Well, that was fun, but you showed up too early. I was going to make her beg a little first."

"What?" I asked feeling like I was having an out of body experience.

"Did you really think I would kill her with my hands, it would mean I would have to touch her skanky ass? Maybe you didn't mind going there, but I have my limits," she laughed.

I had to lean over and place my hands on my knees to breath. I felt weak and a bit dizzy. I knew it wasn't as easy as Bella was making it sound, but I also had the relief of knowing it wasn't as bad as I had suspected.

"Are we going to be okay?" I asked her.

She put her arms around me and gave me a loving squeeze. "There was a time I didn't think I wanted to live another day, but the door to my cell opened and I was put in a car and taken into the city. I saw you that day, and I thought, what if I had given up one day earlier? I live for you, Edward."

I held her in my arms with a fear of letting go. I swallowed deeply and said, "I need help, Bella, to get over my fear of letting you out of my sight."

"Okay," she said, "We'll get help together and someday everything will be distant memories."

We drove back home and I remained right behind her the whole way. We walked into the house to find everyone waiting breathlessly for our return. Jasper had filled everyone in with what happened in Uganda and I could see the relief on Charlie's face when he pulled Bella into his arms.

Carlisle asked everyone to have a seat and he was struggling with something he needed to say. "Son, I feel partly to blame for what has happened to you. I haven't been open with you about something and it may clear some stuff up."

"I disagreed with it," Emmett said to me and I had no idea what he was talking about.

"What are we talking about?" I asked.

"When Emmett and Alice married they got their inheritance from your grandparent's estate. I had yours held to the age of thirty. I just felt you needed more time to mature, and then you decided to return to Uganda so I just left things as they were. I'm afraid Tanya was so persistent because she knew what was coming."

"What was coming?" I asked hesitantly and my father handed me some documents. Bella and I scooted close to read them together. I heard her gasp and I tried to laugh incredulously, but I choked instead.

"In one year I get five million dollars?" I asked as I stared at my parents.

"It is a big responsibility, Edward," my father said. "Your brother and sister have decided to only use the interest and keep the principle for future generations. You can do as you wish, but I'm afraid Tanya was blinded by the money."

**BELLA**

I felt sick when I found her motivation was money. I had endured all those horrible things so a woman who was already a successful pediatrician, could have more.

"Excuse me," I said and left the room. I headed up to the bedroom and was surprised to see Rosalie follow me. She pulled up the chair by the bed and patted the mattress for me to sit. Her eyes immediately grew wet and she took a shaky breath.

"I'm going to tell you something nobody but Emmett knows about," she said and I reached out to hold her hand.

"In college I dated a neighbor boy when I was home one summer. He was macho and cocky and always had a group of friends with him. I was getting ready to return to school and ended the relationship. I had met Emmett, but he hadn't asked me out yet. I came home late one night and saw Royce waiting in his yard. He called me over and I thought he just wanted to tell me something, but he grabbed me, covering my mouth with his hand."

I could feel our hands shaking and I wasn't sure if it was her or me.

"He pulled me into the house and it was full of his friends. They spent the entire night assaulting me. I had them arrested, but they were able to plea bargain and none of them spent more than a year in prison. My lawyer told me to be happy they got any time, but was that all I was worth, one year?"

"I didn't return to school the next year. Emmett called me one day, saying he missed me. I didn't think any man would want me, but when I began to tell him what happened, he quickly interrupted me and said he already knew."

I wiped my tears and asked something I wanted to know. "How long did it take for you to be physical without thinking about it?"

She smiled at me and said, "Emmett took longer than I did. He was worried about me freaking out. He finally took me to San Francisco for the weekend and got a beautiful room, bought me roses, we drank champagne and he was so sweet. He was extremely cautious and very gentle. I finally just attacked him," she laughed and I laughed with her.

"Talk your way through it, the love is so much more powerful than the memories. One day you realize it is just a story about your past. It has no power over you."

"Did you ever have flashbacks when you were with Emmett?" I asked.

She smiled and said, "Emmett knew his way around the female body, so there was no comparison."

"I love Edward so much, I don't want him to be filled with guilt and the truth, is I don't remember too much about what happened. I kind of spaced out."

"You're lucky, and I mean having Edward. He loves you so much, too," she smiled.

"Okay, now for the important stuff, did you really beat the shit out of Tanya?"

She laughed loudly and nodded. "Maybe I've had a flashback or two after all. When I heard what she did, I freaked. Doctor's can't fight worth a damn, and it was really over once I got a good hold on her hair. She wears it with a side part now, to make up for the bald spot on one side."

"I've never loved you as much as I do right now," I laughed.

"Oh God, you should have seen Emmett after the fight, he had a boner for a solid week," she said as she rolled her eyes. We both laughed and I gave her a tight hug knowing for certain we would be closer than anyone else in the family.

* * *

**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	23. Chapter 23

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

* * *

Chapter: 23

**EDWARD**

When word got out Bella was back in America the phone began ringing nonstop. Every news organization in the country wanted to interview her. We got legal counsel and were told again not to mention how Bella escaped. We were advised to let the Uganda government save face for the wellbeing of the other prisoners.

Bella agreed to being interviewed, but would not leave home to do it. We spend an entire week with film crews in the house filming interviews. When asked how the talcum powder got into her backpack she stated, "Sometimes scorned lovers can be your worst nightmare, all I can say is it was not my former fiancé."

We attended a counseling session together and both admitted our greatest fear was losing each other. We had yet to be intimate and when the doctor asked us about it, we both tensed.

"I don't want Bella to think I am pressuring her," I admitted.

"I want to feel like Edward still wants me," she said as she looked at her hands. She knew I still loved her and I had desires for her. I never stopped to think my hesitation was making her feel like I didn't want her; I was worried about causing trauma and felt my restraint was for her own good.

"Of course I still want you," I said in shock.

"I want you to know it is okay to express it," she said and still wouldn't look at me.

"Bella," I said softly, "Look at me."

She raised her head and I saw a coy smile on her face instead of the sorrow I expected to see. It made me smile and my body definitely came alive. I couldn't believe this creature was mine.

"I purchased a new ring," I said and winked at her. Her mouth fell open and she leaned close to whisper to me.

"When?"

"Well, I'm going to, after our session," I teased.

"Can I pick it out?" she asked and it was my turn to be shocked.

The doctor spent some time with both of us alone and we set up a session for the following week. We were driving home when Bella said, "Edward, I think we need to find a place of our own, start settling down and making a home."

"Okay, I smiled, where do you want to live?"

"I want to be close enough to see your family often. I'll contact a realtor and look around."

I watched her for a few seconds and I could tell she was thinking about something disturbing. I wasn't sure if I wanted to press the issue or let it come out naturally. She finally noticed my glances and said, "I'm afraid to see Lulu."

"Why?" I asked in shock.

"I'm trying very hard to separate her from them, but my mind considers her one of them," she said with shame and I noticed how her chin quivered.

"Bella, let's go see her, once she is in your presence you won't feel that way anymore. Lulu was in danger for the same thing you faced, but you saved her. You're her hero; I just wish I could have been yours."

Her eyes widened and she unhooked her seatbelt and scooted closer to wrap her arms around my neck. "Edward, you are my hero. You got me moved to somewhere safe and you risked your own life to get me out of there.

I tried to smile at her, but her words did nothing to release the quilt I was carrying.

**BELLA**

I knew Edward well enough to know he was carrying all the weight of what happened to me. I'm sure he was blaming himself for Tanya's actions and most likely feeling guilty about my decisions to leave my vocation in the church.

I put my mouth to his ear and whispered softly, using as much air as I could, "Let it go."

He smiled and leaned his head toward me and said, "Let what go?"

I continued talking into his ear and whispered, "The weight of the world you carry around, let it go."

"You are my world," he said and I saw his eyes grow wet.

"Show me," I breathed.

He chuckled nervously and suddenly made a sharp turn to pull into a Best Western hotel. I laughed and let him pull me out of the car. As he registered for a room I stood against the large lobby counter and placed my hand in his front pocket. He jumped and gave me a warning glance, so I moved my hand directly over him.

"Bella," he said with a cautious tone as he tried to fill out his license plate number.

I squeezed my hand and he hissed while pushing the paper back to the clerk. "Sorry," Edward said to the young man, "But my wife is grabbing my dick."

I felt my entire face turn bright red and I gasped. Edward just looked at me with a smug expression so I decided to play his game. "My husband just got a new ring for his foreskin piercing and I'm trying to feel it."

Now the poor clerk turned red and quickly finished with our registration so he could be done with us.

Edward held up the card key and I grabbed it and turned to run down the long hallway. He chased after me and we were both laughing and breathing heavily as we crashed our way into the room. He tackled me onto the bed and I took hold of the one place that would put me in total control.

"You better not hurt me or you'll be leaving here disappointed," Edward threatened.

I rolled us over so I had full access to his body and began removing his jeans. "Does this hurt?" I asked as I let my fingers run softly over his aroused body.

"Yes, hurt me more, please," he moaned and I added my tongue into the mix.

"God, I missed you," he said into the air.

"Un uh, not God, say my name," I said a bit him lightly.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," he teased and then yelled loudly, "Oh yeah, like that."

I chuckled and showed him just how much I loved him. We spent the entire afternoon become reacquainted with each other's bodies and could hardly move when we decided we should really leave the room and find some food.

We sat at a burger place and smiled like two teenagers. My wise sister-in-law was right; love easily overpowered the pain and the fear. I loved Edward with my entire heart and we were one step closer to forgiving ourselves for our own weaknesses.

**EDWARD**

We took a long walk after eating and ended up at the old church where we married. We sat in the middle of the room and both offered prayers of gratitude. We had endured so much, but we still had so much to be grateful for.

As we headed out the door I gave her a hug and asked if we could go see Lulu. She swallowed and took a look back at the church before nodding. We walked back to the hotel to get my car and headed to the north side of the city.

Lulu answered the door and when she saw Bella she grabbed her around the waist. "I see you on TV and I tell everyone how you save me."

Any hesitation Bella felt quickly melted away, and she wrapped her whole body around Lulu. "I wasn't brave Lulu, I was terrified without you."

The family welcomed us inside, and began sharing stories of survival in Uganda. Bella listened intently and even opened up a little about her experience revealing things I didn't know.

"I tried to remember what different things smelled like," Bella said with sad eyes. "I missed the smell of cinnamon, and wet wood, and babies, I really missed the smell of babies."

Lulu laughed and covered her mouth as she looked at Edward, "Doctor wears smelly stuff on his hair."

I gave her a hurt gasp and turned to Bella, "Does my hair gel stink?"

"No, doctor, not stink, it smells like pretty girl," Lulu explained.

Bella fell over sideways in laughter and it was music for my heart. She was finding joy spending time with Lulu and I was sure she would be able to separate her feelings for the wonderful family before us and the sick people who abused her.

We left there feeling like some of the cracks in our souls were healed. I was ready to step up and become the man I needed to be. We both needed to make career choices, Bella was a great nurse and any hospital would be lucky to have her.

I knew my father could get me on at the hospital again, but I had to consider the possibility of starting my own practice. In a year I would have enough money to do something on my own, but I wasn't sure it was what I wanted.

"Bella, we need to talk about the money," I said to bring it up.

She chuckled and said, "I don't care about the money, we can make a living without it."

"Should I start my own practice? You could be my nurse," I said as I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

"I was thinking about working at the Veterans hospital or maybe as a school nurse," Bella said and I was surprised to hear she had been thinking about it.

"You would be a hot school nurse," I laughed and she smiled at me.

"It would be nice to be on the same schedule as our kids, you know, be home when they are during the summer," she said.

"Our kids?" I asked.

"Yeah, we shouldn't wait too long, I mean you're getting old, Edward," she teased.

"I'm not old," I challenged. "I'm young and stylish with great smelling hair gel and a penis ring."

"Soon, you'll have no hair to gel and that ring will be hanging to your knees," she teased and I was going to pretend to be mad but she made me laugh.

"To my knees? Thank you."

We drove in silence, both of us thinking through different scenarios for our future. We pulled up to my parent's home and I turned to Bella. "Hey, let's start a family. We'll get a house and I'll work at the hospital again. You can stay home with the baby until you're ready to work."

"I was kidding about your age, Edward. If you're not ready, I un…."

"No, I am. I haven't thought about it before, but the timing is perfect."

And it was that simple. We had one conversation and decided to become parents as fast as possible.

**BELLA**

After our baby discussion I got serious about finding a house. Edward worked at the hospital Instant care clinic and didn't mind all the ear infections and flu symptoms from the constant stream of kids. He enjoyed asking about their pediatricians and then suggesting strongly they choose someone more skilled than Tanya if her name was mentioned.

I looked at a million houses with Alice and Rose, but found one by myself I thought would be perfect. It was small but had a large fenced in yard with fruit trees and a play house. It was not near as pricey as the houses the girls had been showing me, but it was homey and comfortable.

I was so excited to show it to Edward. When we pulled up he turned to look at me. "It isn't new."

"I know, but it's quaint and has a really good vibe to it," I said and quickly got out of the car.

Edward followed me inside and looked around at the many unique features to the home. The kitchen had a small fireplace and the master suite had a bear claw tub. He opened a door thinking it was a second closet in the master bedroom and found a small nursery.

"Wow, this is really nice," he said softly and began making his way through the rest of the rooms.

I watched his face closely as he walked along the property, looking at the various plants and trees. He walked back to the large deck and put his hands on his hips as he looked up at the roof.

"What do you think?" I asked him.

"I think if we updated a couple of things it would be perfect. There's a lot of grass," he pointed out most likely worrying about keeping it mowed.

"We can get a riding mower or hire a neighbor kid," I offered trying not to act too enthusiastic about it.

"We don't have very much furniture," he said and I only shrugged. "We have the bedroom set and couch from my room."

"We can get a used kitchen table pretty cheaply," I said.

"My mother won't let you buy a used table," he laughed. "She'll insist you let her help you decorate."

"She can help with the nursery," I said and then simply waited for him to react.

He looked around the yard for a moment again and then back at the roof before his eyes snapped over to mine, "The nursery?"

"We can always keep a box on the stove, but I thought you would want your child closer to our room," I said trying to act like we were discussing something as simple as the weather.

"Are we talking about future children?" he asked as he watched my eyes.

"Oh yeah," I said and waved my hand to dismiss him, "We're talking at least, seven or eight months in the future."

"Are you pregnant?" he asked as a smile began to slowly form on his face.

"Yes," I screamed and he grabbed me and twirled me around until I protested loudly. Getting a pregnant woman dizzy was not going to have a very good outcome.

"God, Bella, we have so much to do. We have to buy this house, furnish it, take child birth classes…"

"Edward, you have delivered how many babies?" I said to calm him down.

"We need names and that alone could take up the entire pregnancy," he said as if the sky was falling. I laughed at how stressed he became at the thought of a baby coming. I wondered if he thought we would have trouble conceiving. We were all for making a baby and worked at it often, maybe he thought it was his sweet smelling hair gel making me jump him constantly.

"I like the name Chike, it is African for…"

"God's Strength," he finished for me as his tears began to fall. "You would do that?"

"Do what; give our child a beautiful name from a beautiful country? Yes, Edward, I would."

"You Bella, you have God's strength," he whispered as he pulled me to his lips.

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**Surrogate a/n...would love to hear what you thought of this story. Reviews are love...and I'm sure that Sandi would like to see some!**


	24. Chapter 24

Name: **ABSOLUTION**

Author: **Sdfreeze**

Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

This story was last published on 6/20/10.

There are 24 chapters in this story.

This is the link for the TWILIGHTED forum for **THE CUBE **story.

http: / / www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=11931

**All Sdfreeze story discussions should take place in THE CUBE discussion forum, to keep them together.**

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Chapter: 24

**EDWARD**

Bella and I lived a normal life for the next ten years. We had a son, Chike, and a daughter, Abi. We cherished our family and spent every spare second together. I love Bella as much today as the day I married her. I thanked God daily for all the good in my life.

Bella and Rose decided to pool their money and opened a crisis center for women who were victims of assault. It was a not-for-profit center and donations poured in every time either one of them gave a speech.

I was so proud of Bella when she was asked to testify in front of congress regarding International rape and human rights abuses. They had no idea what they were in for when Bella sat at the microphone and looked at the all male committee.

Her road to recovery wasn't totally free from flashbacks. We were having a family barbeque and a bug crawled across Bella's leg. She screamed and backed up to the wall, tucking into the fetal position and cried loudly.

I got on my knees in front of her and spoke softly, "Bella, never again. I'm here and I won't let anything ever hurt you again."

She raised her head and looked at me with terror in her eyes. "Did I make any noise, is he coming?"

"You can make all the noise you want, love, I won't let anyone touch you," I said with force and she dove into my waiting arms.

She would have nightmares every once in awhile and snuggle up to me, but they faded over the years.

I worked my way up the ladder at the hospital and now oversaw all the outpatient clinics. Tanya eventually moved to Alaska when her patient load lightened, and I really hoped it was all my doing.

**BELLA**

I finally got my chance to say everything that had built up inside of me over the years. I wasn't naïve and blinded by my feelings of gratitude to be home. There were several things I wanted to address.

Edward flew with me to Washington and sat directly behind me as I spoke, giving me the emotional support I needed. I had looked into the backgrounds of the committee members I would be addressing and found several with less than stellar characters.

I worked with women at the crisis center and I was prepared to give these supposed gentlemen a whole new way of looking at things.

I wore a pin stripped suite dress with four inch heels. I was going to look these men right in the eyes when I stood next to them. I found out the Ugandan ambassador was going to be in attendance and I couldn't have been happier.

I sat down and pulled the microphone to my mouth.

"_Good afternoon gentlemen. I feel it is a privilege to sit before you this day, to share my experience of injustice. I went to Uganda to help train individuals from various villages to act as medical technicians. My husband and I wanted to give something important to the country and felt knowledge was the most valuable thing we could bring them." _

"_I landed at the airport in Kampala and was falsely arrested for drug trafficking. The supposed cocaine was really Gold Bond powder, easily distinguishable if anyone had bothered to investigate. I was taken to a prison the government refuses to admit exists where I was beaten, raped, and starved. Not once did anyone from the American embassy come to see me." _

"_I was never brought in front of a judge or given legal counsel. My husband paid money to a prison warden to have me moved to a clean, safe, facility. My charges suddenly changed from drugs to subversion of the government. My husband dressed as a nun to enter the prison, leaving me with the costume, he went to pay the warden and we both simply walked out the front door."_

I had purposely left Jasper out of the written testimony.

"_I was met by government official in Germany where I was told not to speak about my abuse and keep my escape quiet. My own legal counsel told me to keep quiet for the sake of other Americans being held around the world. I listened because I didn't know better, but I know better now. I know it is wrong to silence the victim for the sake of a corrupt country. I made it out alive and I should have been screaming from the rooftops, letting the world know what had happened to me."_

"_I now work with women in America who are being victimized. Ambassador Chakiiki, Uganda is not the only place where women are violated; it happens everywhere and maybe we need to look at what the hell is wrong with you men. When did it ever become okay to use your penis as a weapon?"_

"_When men hit women, who are naturally weaker, it doesn't make them tough, it makes them cowards. And when a man uses his penis as a weapon, it makes him pathetic. A very wise Priest told me you have the spouse you deserve. I must be a very good person, because I have an amazing husband." _

"_For you men who think you need to sneak around with young women, because your wives are not satisfying you, I would like to ask you a few questions. Have you gained weight, stopped taking her on dates, forgetting to be mannerly as you belch, and fart, and pick your noses? Exactly what is it about you that deserves her attention? Yet we constantly hear it is the woman who has the audacity to age and refuse to suck your dicks. Gentlemen, you have the spouses you deserve."_

"_When women are violated you do not weaken us, you weaken the value of men. It is easy for a loving man to fill our minds and hearts with tender, loving experiences. A rapist is not memorable because he takes nothing, we are not defined by our vaginas, but too many men don't understand that simple concept. I was raped by weak, stupid men, but I was violated by a corrupt government who values money more than people, as well as my own country, that had to nerve to ask me to keep quiet. I will now listen to my own advice and speak loudly."_

"_You did not need to hear from me today, because there is nothing I can say that you haven't already ignored. Your trysts are abuse gentlemen, you break the sacred trust of the women you vowed to be faithful to, and you abuse the women you whisper your lies just to wield your weapon. If you want to hear about the abuse of Americans and human rights violations, talk to each other Senators. Ambassador Chakiiki, children in your country are being used as sex slaves, and rebel soldiers, and for you to sit here and pretend you are doing something by listening to my testimony is nothing but mindfucking your own people."_

"_I dare you to silence this session today. And I am willing to debate in front of a camera anyone from this committee. Thank you for your time and attention."_

**EDWARD**

The room was absolutely silent, not one person had a question or a comment. I sat with my hand over my mouth to stop the laughter from bursting out. Bella stood and took my hand before proudly walking from the room.

As soon as we stepped out the door of the hearing we were descended upon by reporters, all wanting to ask questions about the real topic, what was going on in Uganda? Bella talked truthfully and eloquently about everything she had witnessed, from the lack of medical care, to Lulu's inability to have a simple crutch without it putting her in danger.

We were asked to come to New York for a round of morning talk shows. Bella talked about the crisis center and how she teamed up with Rosalie to help other women know there is a bright future ahead of them. One interviewer asked if Bella forgave her captors, since she was a former nun.

"I leave it up to God to forgive, because it is Him who is truly hurt by our willingness to abuse each other. I make mistakes everyday and hope I am offered the same Grace."

I stood at the side of the stage and watch Bella. I remembered the innocent nun who entered the village that day. I felt God had cursed me to send a beautiful young woman to work with me. But she slowly changed my life, by bringing me understanding and making me a better man.

She taught me how to be free to love completely, and not just for my own ego. She taught me how to forgive myself for the awful person I had been, and accept the love my family had to offer. She taught me the value of liberty is in the way we treat each other, and not in our own selfish desires. She was my absolution.

We arrived home late and the kids were already in bed. Lulu was now a sophomore in college and had agreed to stay with our children while we were gone. She ran to the car when we pulled into the garage.

"Oh my God, your testimony is all over youtube. You freaking rocked, Bella," Lulu laughed, proudly showing off her perfect teeth now.

"She was amazing," I agreed and watched Bella's face redden.

"Rosalie called, and she's pissed. She said the clinic has been overrun by reporters and she had twenty seven messages in one day," Lulu told Bella.

"I hope she asked for donations," Bella said as she went inside to use the phone.

I gave Lulu a big hug. I never believed she would make it to this age when I first met her. Now she was a tall, beautiful, bright young woman who dated often. She had such a kind heart, which led her to become my only friend when I had exiled myself from my family. I now had everyone important in my life and I cherished them all.

**BELLA**

I was very proud of the spotlight I was able to put on the clinic but a part of me wondered what kind of firestorm I had created. I dialed Rosalie's number and waited for her to answer and let me have it.

"Bella?" she answered.

"If you want to bitch at me, I don't want to hear it," I told her.

"We have been offered space in Tacoma to open a second clinic," she screamed into the phone.

I had to sit down as her words sunk into my brain. I had worried we were simply a novelty, a former nun and a beautiful woman open a clinic because they had been raped, but people wanted to help. They heard my words and felt the same way I did.

"Rose," I said through tears, "We did it, we made a difference."

"You did it, Bella. You hit those men where they lived by showing them what dicks they are. Girls are coming out of the woodwork to admit they had been approached, or hit on, or seduced by these guys. Even their wives are speaking out."

"I only spoke the truth," I said and felt a bit of worry for Edward. I wondered if his past was going to be made public for people to ridicule.

I hung up the phone and found Edward lying in bed watching the news. He looked up at me and smiled. "Did you see how Chike was sleeping?" he laughed, "His whole lower body is hanging off the bed."

"I'll move him," I said and walked over to Edward.

He hit mute on the remote and took my hand. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I love you with my entire heart. And I am so proud of the man you are. If reporters dig into your past it won't matter to me," I said.

He laughed loudly and it made me mad, since I was speaking from my heart. "Fine let them grill your nuts," I said and pulled away.

"Bella, I wasn't that horrendous. I was a single, male, college student. Any reporter looking into my past better be willing to have their own revealed. And do you really think Tanya will surface after what she did?"

"I'm going to check my babies, when I come back you better be ready to welcome me to our bed properly," I said with a wink and headed down the hallway.

I opened Chike's door first and saw he was now securely on the bed. His room was covered in posters of various sports figures and he had a soccer pillow tucked under his arms. I looked down at his perfect face, so full of innocence and hope. I knew his ability to be a good man depended on the way Edward and I would raise him. I wanted him to value people and service, not money or fame.

I kissed his cheek and he rolled over. I headed to Abi's room, which was all ruffles and pastels. She was buried in a mountain of dolls and stuffed animals, which she called her 'babies.' Abi adored Lulu and never seemed to notice her prosthetic leg. I hoped she could remain so blinded by people's insides and not their outsides. I hoped she would never know what it was like to be victimized, but I also knew if it unfortunately happened, she would not be destroyed. I would teach my daughter to be strong and courageous, just like Joshua of old.

When I finally returned to my room Edward had some candles lit and some soft music playing. I removed my clothes and climbed onto the bed. He turned onto his elbow and stared down at me, without making a move or coming any closer.

"What are you doing?" I asked him as I ran my fingers down his face.

"I'm loving you," he whispered.

"You're only looking at me," I pointed out.

"It's the same thing," he said and took a deep breath as his eyes canvassed my body.

"I am so lucky," I told him truthfully and leaned up on my elbow to kiss him softly.

He pulled me against his body and deepened the kiss. Our trip back east was so hectic I didn't get any intimate time with him. I sighed and lay back, pulling him with me. He took my hand and pulled it to his body and I felt something different.

"What's that?" I asked with my mouth still attached to his.

"Something new," he chuckled.

I pushed him onto his back and looked at the new jewelry. It was a silver bar instead of a circular ring and the ball at the end was engraved with E & B. I smiled and ran my finger over the declaration as he struggled to keep his breathing steady.

"Thank you," I said and he pulled me back into his arms.

Our physical declarations of love were not as frequent, but we found other ways to show each other how committed we were. If I had to choose a life of no abuse, but I couldn't have Edward, or living the nightmare all over again to have him, my choice would be easy. The love overpowers the pain.

Giving up my vows was not turning my back on God, he still loved me and valued my service, and my proof was Edward. God was not angry if he let me have something so wonderful. Edward was my absolution.

THE END

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